In a conjugal relationship, infidelity is an extremely serious injury, and once a betrayal occurs, life will not be able to return to what it used to be. Even if they choose to return to their families, they still face many difficulties. After the betrayal, the marriage is only reconciled, but it is difficult to be the same. There are a series of actions that men need to take in order to truly return to the family, and here are some suggestions.
1.Be honest about the problem and apologize sincerely.
Every man who betrays has a variety of reasons, but no matter how you interpret it, a mistake is a mistake. When choosing to return to the family, you must be honest about the problem and sincerely apologize to your wife. Fidelity is the cornerstone of marriage, and even if the relationship is apathetic, it should be reverted to being single before starting over.
Lao Zhang chose to sincerely apologize to his wife Xiaomei, and at the same time carefully analyzed the root cause of his extramarital betrayal. The focus of both of them was on the children, especially Xiaomei, who completely ignored Lao Zhang's existence. The hard work and joy of the new mother reduced the intimate life between the husband and wife, which led to the suppression of Lao Zhang's needs, and finally led to the occurrence of betrayal. Returning to the family means being honest about the problems and finding solutions together.
2.Take action to make up for the damage.
Sweet words are important, but actions are the most powerful way to apologize. While cutting off contact with women from the outside world, Lao Zhang made his mobile phone public to show his sincerity. However, the real sense of security does not only come from the openness of mobile phones, but more importantly from the control of economic power. In order to show sincerity, Lao Zhang agreed to change the property jointly owned by the husband and wife to Xiaomei's personal ownership, and signed a marital property agreement.
The economic tilt is not only a symbol of returning to the family, but also a manifestation of the sincerity of the man. In addition, Lao Zhang began to actively participate in the daily life of his children, and was no longer as laissez-faire as before. Such practical action is not only a redress for the damage, but also a powerful demonstration of rebuilding trust.
3.Enhance communication and exchange to rebuild trusting relationships.
It is difficult for a marriage that has experienced betrayal to fully recover, but whether it can continue depends on whether a trusting relationship can be re-established. While making public the trajectory of activities and handing over property can help ease tensions, there is a risk that previous problems will be repeated if not resolved.
Therefore, it is important for both spouses to communicate openly and honestly. Xiaomei admits that she has been too negligent with Lao Zhang in the past two years and has not taken into account his feelings. Lao Zhang also admitted that he felt idle because of his family's less involvement, which led to the betrayal. In family activities, when a man is neglected or marginalized, he looks for other ways to vent in order to regain his presence and self-esteem.
Perrell, a Belgian marriage and love counselor, pointed out that a marriage that has experienced betrayal means that the original relationship has ended, and choosing to continue is essentially starting a new marriage. The happiness of this marriage depends on the ability of both parties to trust each other and solve previous problems. Only if a man shows sincerity in his words and deeds, confronts the problem head-on and solves the problem, his return is real and the happiness of the marriage is possible.