In delving into the behavior of the betrayer of the marriage and its impact on family members, especially children, we find that there are complex psychological motivations behind this behavior. Marital betrayal is not only a hurt, but also a betrayal of family and affection, and the impact of such betrayal is often far greater than we think.
Marriage betrayers often claim that their actions are based on "love", but this so-called "love" is often mixed with multiple selfish purposes. They may be trying to satisfy their personal interests by keeping in touch with their children, or they may be self-protective measures to avoid social stigma. These selfish motives can not only have a negative impact on children, but also undermine the authenticity and stability of family relationships.
First, the marital betrayer may try to achieve what is known as "retirement feedback" through contact with children. In many societies, children are seen as the dependence of their parents in their later years, and this perception is rooted in family values and social responsibilities. However, when a marital relationship breaks down, the relationship between parents and children is often affected. In such cases, some parents may be motivated by selfish motives and try to maintain a bond with their children to ensure that they receive the necessary support and care later in life. For example, some parents who are less involved in their children's lives after a divorce are in frequent contact with their children in old age in the hope that they will be able to support them in the future. This behavior reveals a self-centered motivation to use family affection as a strategy for old-age security, rather than true fatherly or maternal love.
Second, marital betrayers may try to seek comfort and support through contact with their children as a means of escaping reality in the face of external pressures or their own predicament. Marriage betrayers often suffer from moral condemnation and negative evaluation by society after betrayal, which can bring them great stress and distress. To alleviate this stress, they may try to seek psychological solace through connection with their children. However, this behavior often only exacerbates tensions in family relationships, leaving children feeling confused, disappointed, and angry. For example, some parents try to ease their guilt and anxiety by building a closer bond with their children after facing an extramarital affair**. However, instead of alleviating their stress, this behavior makes their children feel more confused and disappointed, undermining their trust and respect for their parents.
Third, the marital betrayer may try to improve his or her image in society through some PR tactics to mitigate public criticism of his infidelity. In society, marital betrayers are often negatively evaluated and morally condemned because betrayal of marriage is seen as a breach of family and social morality. In order to improve their image, some betrayers may try to show their image of "responsibility" and "fatherly love" through intimate interaction with their children. For example, some betrayers will post their interactions with their children on social media after an extramarital affair**, trying to create an image of a caring family. However, this kind of behavior is actually only an image reshaping and moral compensation, lacking sincerity and long-term effect. If this behavior is only a short-term PR ploy, then over time, the public may see through their disguise, and their image may be further damaged.
To sum up, the so-called "love" of the betrayer of marriage often has a strong selfish color. They may try to maintain or restore contact with their children out of self-interest, ignoring their true feelings and needs. This kind of "love" based on selfish purposes not only harms the interests of the children, but also undermines the stability and authenticity of family relationships. For marital betrayers, if they really care about their children, they should put aside their selfish goals and sincerely think about their children's well-being, rather than using them as a tool to achieve their personal goals. True love should be unconditional and selfless, and it should focus on the well-being and growth of children, rather than the desires and interests of the child. We should be wary of and oppose this selfish "love" and strive to promote a healthier and more sincere family environment where every member of the family can be respected and loved.