Recently, I attended a reunion of my junior high school classmates.
Although we are all born in the 70s, some of the people at the party have become grandparents, and some of the classmates' children are only five or six years old. Most of my classmates' children are already in high school or college.
When talking about the topic of fertility, everyone expressed their opinions, and they all seemed to be quite reasonable.
After careful consideration, I found that the decision to have children involves young people's views on marriage and child-rearing, as well as the economic strength of the family and the stability of the relationship between the young couple, and these elements are closely linked.
Of course, there are also those who have adhered to the Dink (childless) lifestyle, believing that children can be a burden and that it is more important to have a wonderful personal life.
Xiaoying is a classmate, she got married at the age of 20 and welcomed her own child, and the daughter of the family is also married.
After becoming a grandmother in her 40s, Xiaoying summed up her life with a mixture of pain and joy.
The pain lies in the fact that she was not sensible enough when she was young, and was arranged by her parents to marry, and only after she got married did she realize that her family was poor, and she even needed to borrow money to buy milk powder. It wasn't until her children went to school that Xiaoying began to work outside the home, gradually increasing her family income. However, she was unable to keep up with the focus on her children's education while working.
When Xiaoying goes out to work, the children can only be taken care of by her parents-in-law, forming a common life model of left-behind children and left-behind elderly.
Now, although Xiaoying has become a grandmother, her life is not easy. She needs to support her daughter's children, and even has to spend a lot of money on it. After all, the income of the daughter and son-in-law is unstable and they are still in the early stages of starting a business.
At the same time, Xiaoying's classmate Lao Zhang is envious of her life.
Lao Zhang said with emotion: "Look at me, I'm almost fifty years old, and my child is only six years old. Some time ago, I was thinking about having a second child. However, my family was against it, because if I had another child, it would mean that I was still in school at the age of seventy, and it was a big problem to be able to take on such a responsibility.
This suddenly reminds people of the fable of "The Two Monks of Shu".
There are two monks in Shu, one is rich and the other is poor.
The wealthy monk was ready to go to the South China Sea, but he was afraid to set off for fear of accidents on the way, and he had been preparing for this for many years.
On the contrary, the poor monk had a whimsical idea and embarked on a trip with a bottle and a bowl as soon as he said he would go. He quickly reached the South China Sea and returned to Shu to tell the rich monk about the beautiful scenery along the way.
After hearing this, the rich monk felt very ashamed.
The article mentions: "Is it difficult to do things in the world? If you do it, it will be easy for those who are difficult; If you don't, it's easy and it's hard. ”
This shows that the difficulty of things lies not only in the things themselves, but also in our perception of them.
Human beings are naturally afraid of hardships and unwilling to endure hardships, but the reality of the situation forces us to make an effort.
Is it to have a baby early? Or do you want to have a baby later? In fact, it is a painful time choice, and it also involves the cognition of marriage and family. 
Observing the reality of the family, it can be seen that the differences brought about by early and late childbirth are mainly manifested in the following aspects.
First, about parenting: families who have children at an early age are often able to get help from their families. In these families, both grandparents and grandparents are eager to help take care of the children.
Since young couples get married early and have children, at this time, the advantage of "baby is the boss" is highlighted. At this moment, the whole family is focused on one child, and no one is happy and distressed.
And for families with children who have children later, parental help may be limited because they are already older. If the parents are not in good health, young couples will feel the double pressure of "the old and the young", and frequently run between the children and the elderly.
Second, about the economy: families with early children may face financial stress when the child is born. Of course, things may be different if there is financial support from the older generation.
Fortunately, young couples have children in their twenties, and by the age of thirty they can consider starting a business or finding a job and look forward to a happy future.
In contrast, families with children who have children later may have amassed more wealth, but they also face the problem that if they have children after the age of thirty-five, it may be more difficult to re-enter the workforce once they lose their jobs.
Families with free wealth are rare, and having multiple children may upset the original financial balance, forcing couples to struggle again, and the planned "easy life" is likely to be shattered. 
Third, about marriage: Many young couples may mistakenly believe that having children will make their marriage stronger, but in reality, this is not the case. Even families with several children may face the crisis of divorce, and children do not guarantee a long-term marriage.
In addition, some young people may be patient because of their children, sacrificing themselves in order to give their children a complete family.
In stark contrast, couples who have children later are likely to be more mature and have stronger marriages. In this case, having a child instead increases the happiness of "middle-aged children".
Finally, about pensioning: considering that at the age of sixty, children may still be in their teens, couples may face the pressure of providing for and raising children at the same time. The desire to rely on children to help with retirement can be difficult to achieve.
In contrast, when a couple becomes a grandparent around the age of 60, the burden of providing for the elderly will be much easier. Although there is also the need to take care of grandchildren, this is more of a help than a carte blanche burden.