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I have a friend named Xiaofang, who is 32 years old and still firmly believes that she is a "non-marrying person".
In her view, marriage is a cage that restricts a woman's freedom and pursuits. When she first worked, the married female colleagues in the company always shouted when they came back, saying that their in-laws were too much, that their mother-in-law was rude and willful, and that their husbands were lazy and inconsiderate. Xiaofang listened to it and was very resistant to the concept of marriage.
A few years later, Xiaofang's emotional experience has enriched a lot. She has had several boyfriends and tried to live together. She finds that she actually gets tired of fixed relationships very easily, and likes to chase passion and excitement. Whenever the relationship goes into a dull relationship, she gets bored and wants to end the relationship.
Now, Xiaofang is living with her fourth boyfriend, Jack. Jack treats her very well, and the two get along very well. However, Xiaofang found that she was starting to get bored again. She just wants to enjoy her single life, travel around, and chase her passions and dreams, and she doesn't want to be tied down by anything.
In fact, a bachelor like Xiaofang is not uncommon at the moment. Now that women's social status has improved and their economic independence has increased, many people have begun to choose to marry later or not to marry. Data shows that more than 15% of unmarried women over the age of 30 are in China's major cities. These women all prefer a free single life and are unwilling to pay for marriage.
Xiaofang and her ilk may represent a new way of life and new values, an innovation and revolution in the traditional marriage model.
Many women began to yearn for a lifestyle like Xiaofang. I don't want to step into the grave of marriage, I just want to continue to love and be happy and love. But is this lifestyle really suitable? Can it really give us happiness? What kind of problems and confusions lurk behind this? Today, I'm going to analyze it with you.
First of all, it's more of an emotional dependence and avoidance.
Many people choose this way of life because they are afraid that married life will make them lose their freedom and that they are afraid of paying too much for their family. These fears and anxieties stem from misconceptions about marriage and responsibility.
Married life may become dull after the initial love, but is there happiness in that blandness? Isn't it another manifestation of happiness to be with a tacit partner, build your own small family, and gain a sense of accomplishment and responsibility in your trivial daily life?
If we choose to avoid the responsibility and responsibility of marriage because we are too concerned about boredom and responsibility, it can only show that our hearts are still immature and still stay in a childish stage of chasing excitement and passion.
Secondly, this lifestyle also does not bring us emotional security and happiness in the true sense of the word.
We know that people go through many phases of love in their lives. When two hearts meet for the first time, passion and happiness can be confusing. But when that passion wears off, most relationships will come to an end if they don't build a deep and lasting relationship.
Going through this process repeatedly satisfies the need for passion and excitement, but does not really give you a sense of security and happiness. Because you can't be sure if the other person will choose to stay with you after the next love is over. This kind of capricious relationship keeps people in a state of insecurity.
The biggest difference in the marriage relationship is the word "responsibility". Husbands and wives will choose to continue because of mutual support and responsibility, and even if the passion fades, they still believe in each other and the companionship of each other's lives. This kind of responsibility and companionship is where true happiness and security lie.
Finally, this lifestyle is also not conducive to us being more complete and mature.
There is an old Chinese saying: Thirty is standing. Thirty years old is a sign that a person is moving out of youth and towards maturity, and marriage is just the threshold of such a ceremony. It allows both men and women to not only take on the responsibility of building a family, but also to complete the spiritual transformation from children to adults.
At the beginning of a marriage, the new environment, life chores and responsibilities can be uncomfortable. But it is these discomforts that grow up slowly, making a person more tolerant, more mature, and more stable, and ultimately may have a more fulfilling life than when they were single.
If you choose not to marry or have children for the rest of your life because of the fun and fear of the moment, then this life will become very meaningless and lost - when youth is long gone, when life enters the twilight years, when everyone around you has entered the golden age, but you are still alone, continue to *** type of excitement and passion, how funny and sad this picture is.
So, I understand Xiaofang and other bachelors' resistance to marriage, but this does not mean that you can completely deny marriage and choose lifelong love instead.
Marriage can definitely become an important part of happiness in our lives and our spiritual home, and it is worth our careful management.
Of course, marriage is not the whole of life. After marriage, you still need to have your own career and hobbies, and you should not be just a stay-at-home wife or stay-at-home mother. Maintaining a certain amount of independence can bring you a great sense of accomplishment and happiness.
As long as we have a correct outlook on marriage and a correct attitude towards life, and learn to find a balance between marriage and self, we can also live a colorful and happy life.
Marriage is never a cage, but a well-crafted warm harbor. When you've been through enough storms, or when you're tired of wandering life, this is the place to open your arms, and when you want to go to sea again to find your passion and adventure, this will be your strongest backing.
Therefore, we don't have to choose between marriage and love, we can choose the most suitable lifestyle for ourselves at different stages of life, and feel extremely happy in it.
These are some of my understandings of this type of lifestyle and mentality. There is no fixed way to live, so there is no need to deny what you really want because of the eyes and words of others. Everyone has the right to choose a life that is truly right for them.
But before making any choice, I hope that you can deeply understand the essence and meaning behind it, and have a clear understanding of the dilemmas and pains you may face.
Finally, no matter what confusion you find yourself in now, and whatever choices you will make in the future, I sincerely wish you to live a true, free, happy, and meaningful life.
Well, that's the end of this article. I have a lot of feelings and thoughts on this topic. If you also have any opinions, please feel free to discuss them in the comment area
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