Why doesn't my father-in-law like to live in my son-in-law's house? Psychological struggle between men
Introduction: Why do many elderly husbands not like to move in with their son-in-law's parents? This phenomenon is not uncommon, and many people don't like this idea. Some people believe that this is because the traditional patriarchal mentality still exists, and it is believed that there will inevitably be conflicts between men, and it is better to stay in their own homes and not invite them to come. However, the real reason may be deeper, once a conflict breaks out between men, it is often an uncontrollable situation, so the older generation of in-laws will choose to keep their distance and avoid potential conflicts. On the other hand, the in-laws of the daughter's family usually welcome the mother's visit. What is causing this difference? Below, we will analyze this phenomenon from different angles.
The influence of patriarchal thinking.
Patriarchal attitudes are deeply ingrained and persist in some families. This traditional perception means that some older men have reservations about going to their son-in-law's house, believing that they may be discriminated against or disrespected. Therefore, they would rather stay at their son's house and be reproached by their daughter-in-law than go to their son-in-law's house for a longer period of time. This prejudice leads the elderly father-in-law to stay away from his son-in-law's house and choose to avoid direct contact with his son-in-law in order to maintain psychological balance and dignity. But in fact, the real reason for the old man's hesitation may be more of a concern about potential conflict.
For some older men, resistance to their sons-in-law's family is not just gender bias, but more of an uneasiness about an unfamiliar environment. Traditionally, men are burdened with family responsibilities and the dignity of the family, so they may prefer to stay in a familiar environment. Going to live at the son-in-law's house will break their usual habits and thinking patterns, and such a change will make some older men quite unsettling and challenging. Therefore, they prefer a stable and comfortable life to unknown challenges.
The peculiar nature of the conflict between men.
Conflicts between men often contain many indescribable emotions that, once erupting, can develop into intense conflicts. In contrast, conflicts between women are more of verbal arguments that can pass in a short period of time. However, in the face of conflict, men often choose to withdraw and resist, but this negative emotion will continue to accumulate until it explodes. That is why the elderly husband fears that long-term cohabitation with his son-in-law will lead to conflicts over trivial matters that will eventually lead to irreparable consequences. This provocative uncertainty, combined with the complexity of the bond between men, makes older in-laws more inclined to avoid possible friction and conflict.
Men tend to be more reserved in their way of dealing with conflict, preferring to bury their grievances and anger deep in their hearts until they explode at some point. This long-term accumulation of negative emotions often quietly grows in moments of apparent calm, and eventually erupts in the form of violence or violent conflict. Former parents-in-law worry that spending too much time with their son-in-law will exacerbate conflicts over trivial matters and eventually destroy family and interpersonal relationships. Therefore, they prefer to live with their children to avoid unnecessary risks and challenges.
Face and dignity.
Men tend to be more sensitive than women when it comes to face and dignity. Staying at the son-in-law's house for too long can make the husband feel humiliated and humiliated"Inferior"。Although the daughter's family is the mother's home, traditionally, the elders should spend more time in their own homes to maintain the dignity of the family and the dignity of the man. In the son's house, although he will be reprimanded by his daughter-in-law, the elders are more willing to endure it, feeling that it is in the family"Man to man"problems, unwilling to shirk responsibility. Therefore, even if the son-in-law's family is blamed, in order to maintain the face and image of the family, he will not swallow his anger.
Extended) men tend to have more fragile self-esteem than women and tend to show greater resistance in the face of challenges and injuries. Traditionally, men are considered to be the pillars and important players of the family, responsible for maintaining the dignity of the family. Therefore, staying at the son-in-law's house for a long time will be considered"Inferior"behavior, thus affecting their dignity. Although they will be punished and blamed at their son-in-law's house, they would rather endure it than run away. In their view, the family is the responsibility of men, and in order to maintain the harmony and stability of the family, even if they are wronged, they must swallow their anger.
Summary. Why doesn't the old husband like to move in with his son-in-law's parents? Behind this question is a reflection on traditional beliefs, gender roles, and relationships. While patriarchal attitudes are fading, there are still complex and delicate power and status relationships in family relationships. By analyzing in depth the reasons why the elderly are reluctant to live in their sons-in-law's homes for long periods of time, we can better understand the rules and cultural values implicit in family relationships, while also better understanding the fragility of men's emotions and dignity. In today's pluralistic society, understanding and tolerance of family relationships are becoming more and more important, and it is hoped that every family member can build a harmonious and stable relationship based on understanding and respect.