With the progress of society, the concept of education has also undergone profound changes. The traditional concept of "filial piety under the stick" has gradually drifted away, and students have gradually become more independent and assertive under the influence of the Internet and the promotion of quality education, and have questioned the traditional education methods of parents.
Parents often want the best for their children, but students often think for themselves. Especially in adolescence, students' personalities and opinions are more prominent, and they have strong opinions about their parents' ideas.
Many parents use the slogan "I'm all for your good" to actually push things that students don't want to accept. This kind of "self-moving" dedication makes students feel bored. Some students shared their mother's cooking online, saying that their family may be blamed again for this. The reason is that the food made by my mother is complex and cumbersome, and she is the only one in the family who is good at it, resulting in heavy tasks every time, causing complaints and quarrels.
Even though the students expressed their disinterest and thought it was too cumbersome, their mother insisted on ignoring it, believing that if the family loved to eat it, they should make it often. This leads to a cycle of hard work to make a meal, to get angry after the hard work, and to make it after the fire. Whether it's a meal that my mother likes personally, or something she thinks her family likes, it becomes a nuisance, and when she gets tired, she gets angry. This kind of effort is difficult for students to understand, but also for family members.
In such a family atmosphere, suffocation and depression are clearly felt. Parents regard their efforts as completely for the good of students, even if they work hard, they are also for students, and expect students to be grateful, but from the perspective of students, this kind of dedication only adds more pressure and burden, which is not what students expect, but has to bear silently.
This kind of "self-motivated" education is not unique and is prevalent in many families in China. Parents insist that their views are correct, impose their own ideas on students, and do not listen to students even if they express their opinions, but think that students are ignorant and do not know how to be grateful.
On the Internet, I frequently see various "self-moving" maternal love performances, such as cutting mangoes for students, with the text "Mango flesh is a child, I only deserve to eat mango cores". Although mango is not a fruit that every family can enjoy on a daily basis, it is not to the point that parents are reduced to gnawing on mango pits.
This kind of educational concept is just the concept of instilling students with poor family conditions, which eventually leads to the strengthening of students' inferiority complex, thinking that they are inferior, generating huge psychological pressure, and even subconsciously rejecting mangoes, forming psychological problems.
Another student shared that she did well in the exam, her mother said that she wanted a reward, asked what she wanted, the student wanted to eat ice cream, but her mother thought it was too cold and might hurt her stomach, and finally took her to buy more than 100 pieces of fruit, and her mother also used "look how good I am to you, spend so much money to buy fruit" as the reason. The student said with emotion, "I just want an ice cream, 5 yuan is fine."
This kind of educational concept will only make students bear more psychological burden, especially when students are more assertive, it will only make students feel great pressure and desire to escape, resulting in tension between students and parents, and even escalate to a state of "saber rattling", parents are angry and students do not understand her painstaking efforts, and students cannot bear the parents' indifference to her feelings.
The slogan "for your own good" is actually a "moral kidnapping" for students, catering to the personal thoughts of parents, not really thinking about students. Parents should learn to empathize and become an "open-minded" listener, listen to students' opinions and suggestions, and be able to accept them, so as to promote a more harmonious relationship between parents and students.
As parents, not all ideas and methods are infallible. You can actively communicate with teachers about learning and education experience, and read relevant books to learn. Being too self-righteous will only increase the pressure on students and provoke feelings of rebellion.
Students are independent individuals who have the right to own their own ideas. Parents should not try to turn students into their own "appendages" and should respect students when they express rejection and unwillingness. As role models for students, parents should have the correct three views and thinking to provide correct guidance for students.
Education should be taught according to aptitude, the educational concept of the older generation is outdated, and the concept of parents also needs to keep pace with the times, adjust the education method according to the situation of students, moderately reduce the posture, and face problems with students.
Author's Message] Although it is understandable for parents to care for their students, they need to master moderation in the way they express love. It is important not to "go too far", as the use of "self-moving" education methods will not resonate with students, but may lead parents to think that they have paid a lot and students do not know how to be grateful. This state of affairs is detrimental to both parties, so it is necessary for parents to change the way they are educated and adopt a way that is acceptable to their students.
Topic: What are your thoughts on self-motivated giving?
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