Today, on the first day of the Lunar New Year, I would like to talk to you about the topic of "loneliness".
In Bazi counseling, I can always realize that many people, whether they are married or single, no matter how many people in the family, people always have a "lonely" side.
From a psychological point of view, everyone is lonely.
Even if you find a significant other or a lot of people in your family, you will still have the problem of loneliness. Loneliness is a life issue that everyone has to face. Because life is always about facing everything in life by ourselves, and others can't face it for us.
To take the simplest example, you have a very good friend who has something to talk about, but you still have to face life on your own, and your friend can't face those bad or happy people and things for you.
The conclusion is that loneliness cannot be extinguished.
So how do you alleviate loneliness?
I try to talk about some of my experiences, in a word, change can change.
From a metaphysical point of view, the general trajectory of fate is basically immutable, such as the original family, but we can choose the "post-born family", which is the part that can be changed.
The "post-generational family" includes work, cognitive thinking, friends, environment, etc., which can be changed, that is, you can choose.
One of the core of existentialism is that you can choose your own life. Sartre said, "I was my choice. ”
If metaphysics calculates that your results are not good. Then choose what you can change.
Second, choose what to do in the parts that can be changed so that you don't feel lonely. And be aware of what makes you feel lonely, whether it is your family of origin or yourself who is too idle, if you are too idle, then you can do something to keep yourself busy.
Finally, in fact, it is very important to change our old mode of thinking, if we want to celebrate the New Year, we must change the old mode of thinking, don't think that loneliness is unchangeable, everyone has the ability and responsibility to make new ways of thinking.
I believe you have to make a conscious choice about the choices you make over a long period of time, otherwise you're just a stress reaction. - Bezos.
Our long-term loneliness, our long-term thinking that fate is arranged, complaining about the pressure caused by the environment, the influence of parents' urging marriage, relatives and friends' wrong values, in fact, these factors are external, and you can make changes to your environment and mood.
And the most important thing is to do something that can make you grow and change your old patterns.
That's how you can have a New Year.
Instead of repeating the old New Year every year, just thinking about eating, drinking, and having fun, working hard at work, the New Year has completely become a New Year to make up for your long suffering. Between comparing and bragging with relatives and friends, they become more and more lonely and have no values of their own.
In the New Year, I wish you all a new way of thinking and strengthen your inner strength.
The New Year when everyone is together is not necessarily lonely; A person's New Year does not necessarily have to be lonely. The former is group loneliness, and the latter is individual loneliness.
I'm not alone at home for the New Year, because I'm doing something that I can do without being lonely.
Happy New Year, everyone