The answer to the question of parents' love and children's hatred is not complicated, but to explain this phenomenon in detail, it may take a lot of text, because there are many related factors, such as children's gratitude education, parents' own growth, and the guidance of social values. Although this question has attracted a lot of attention, I will try to answer it succinctly. First, we need to understand the nature of love and the capacity to love. We have this problem because the so-called "love" that some parents have for their children is not actually true love, but a false love. 1.False love and anxietyThis false love is often caused by parents' own anxiety, psychological immaturity and personality defects, which lead them to pass on stress and anxiety to their children excessively. We often hear the words: "The emperor is not in a hurry, the eunuch is in a hurry." "The children didn't feel the pressure on their studies, but the parents were in a hurry, pushing them to do their homework and attend cram school every day. This is actually a lack of self-management ability of parents, which allows children to bear the pressure and anxiety that does not belong to them. When parents put pressure on their children, they usually don't express their anxieties directly, but instead emphasize that children need to do well. Children are expected to do well, and this is what parents expect of them, not the pressure that children themselves feel.
2.False love and fear, many parents are insecure. Insecure parents panic when their children are three meters away from them, they control their children tightly, do not allow their children to have many friends, do not even let their children stay away from them, and even look through their children's diaries. This fear can make children feel distrusted and feel that their dignity has been trampled upon, which can lead to serious parent-child conflicts. 3.False love and ideal self: each of us has an ideal self. Parents may project their ideal selves onto their children, hoping that they will fulfill their unfulfilled dreams. This false love can cause parents to put a lot of pressure on their children and ask them to realize their worth. These are the three types of false love. It is not easy to truly understand the nature of love, but by understanding false love, we can gain some enlightenment. Second, we need to be resentful. Sometimes, a parent's behavior, though motivated by love, can lead to resentment in the child. For example, some parents are overly concerned about their children's well-being, causing their children to feel stressed; Some parents overemphasize their children's grades and make their children feel ununderstood. Parental love can sometimes make children feel dependent and unable to take control of their own lives independently. In this case, the child may develop a grudge against the parent. However, not all resentment is justified. Some resentments can be avoided. For example, some children resented their parents because of their poor family background. However, is it the parents' fault? Not necessarily. Parents also have their own opportunities in life. Theoretically, parents should guide their children to be grateful people, but children should also be responsible for their own lives. In the past, we may not be able to change what our parents did, but the future of life is up to us. We are the first to take responsibility for the happiness of our own lives. While past parents may have done something wrong, we have the power to do better. Nowadays, there are many young parents who are doing well, they are willing to learn parenting knowledge, and they are willing to give their children enough personality space and respect.