Rediscovering oneself after experiencing trauma is a long and challenging process. Traumatic events can have a profound impact on an individual's emotional, physical, and mental health, leaving many people feeling distressed about their perceptions. This is because they take much more time and energy to cope with trauma than usual.
Trauma can lead to a significant sense of self-loss, making it difficult to understand the impact of trauma on self-identity. As Gabor Matt said, "Trauma is not something that happens to you, it's something that happens to you." This highlights the profound impact that trauma has on an individual's inner world that may not seem obvious to others. However, trauma can have a huge impact on a person's life, especially childhood trauma can cause the most damage to self-identity, making individuals habitually dependent on others' evaluations of themselves to determine their own worth.
Each person is uniquely affected by trauma, but some common signs include chronic fatigue, lack of trust, avoidance behavior, feeling insecure, emotional numbness, difficulty concentrating, heightened startle response, nightmares or difficulty sleeping, dissociation, irritation or rashes, gastrointestinal problems, excessive apologies, excessive reflection, difficulty maintaining a healthy weight, emotional dysregulation or anger, depression, self-isolation, uncontrollable crying, interpersonal dysfunction, fear of loneliness, difficulty with memory or information processing, and mistaken beliefs, shame and guilt, high vigilance, etc.
Rediscovering oneself after experiencing trauma is a gradual process, and some of the important steps include redefining what safety means, understanding how one's own safety needs have been compromised, building awareness of how the body feels, and learning to "listen" to the body's needs. Building a sense of security is one of the key steps that involves adopting a calming strategy and learning to control the emotions and memories associated with the traumatic event.
Grief is another important stage that involves accepting a new life after trauma. By giving oneself time to deal with pain, individuals are also gaining a sense of autonomy and control over their lives. Avoiding grief may increase the risk of health problems such as addiction, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, depression, anxiety, and more. Therefore, it is crucial to set aside time to process and explore grief.
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Finally, set aside time to explore and begin to discover new interests and build deeper self-connections. This doesn't mean completely changing yourself, but taking the time to learn about other aspects of yourself. Explore the things that bring joy, wholeness, and fulfillment, and build a deeper sense of self by getting more sleep, being in touch with nature, and seeking psychological**. At the same time, connect with people who are mentally healthy, which will help the individual grow in the process.