Help your child develop a positive, enthusiastic, confident, and successful attitude.
Fixed mindset vs. growth mindset.
People with a growth mindset believe that intelligence and other abilities (such as sports, arts, etc.) develop over time and that there is always an opportunity to learn. On the contrary, people with a fixed mindset believe that abilities are innate. When faced with a failure in a math test, someone with a fixed mindset may say, "I'm not good at math." And someone with a growth mindset might say, "I need to work harder to understand algebra." ”
A person may have a growth mindset in some areas but a fixed mindset in others, for example, they believe that they can become a better tennis player by working hard, but at the same time believe that creativity is innate.
As you might expect, people with a growth mindset see problems and failures as opportunities to learn how to improve, while people with a fixed mindset try to avoid setbacks and feel embarrassed or defensive when setbacks inevitably occur.
Benefits of a growth mindset.
People with a growth mindset are happier, more encouraging, more positive, less judgmental, more enthusiastic about new experiences, and more successful in all areas of life, including school, work, friendships, and parenting.
Growth mindset parenting practices.
For parents with a growth mindset, try the following:
Praise your child for their curiosity and effort, not their abilities. Tell them how proud you are of their insistence on learning how to read (things they can control), but don't tell them they're smart (things that feel permanently fixed and out of their control).
Think of setbacks as learning opportunities, not embarrassing failures. "Oops, your milk is spilled again. What should we do to avoid this from happening tomorrow? Instead of "Did you spill your milk again?" You're so stupid. ”
Don't limit your child's potential. Don't assume that your child's abilities – whether high or low – are fixed. Instead, encourage them to follow their curiosity and support them in developing their interests. Current research on brain plasticity shows that the brain always has room to learn and grow.
Avoid labeling your child, even the one on the front. Categorical labels (learning disability, gifted, incongruous, beautiful) encourage self-awareness and a fixed mindset. Any type of label can prevent your child from following their interests freely and fully like everyone else.
Don't play the finger pointing game. When you or your child has a problem, don't blame anyone or what. Instead, focus on what different approaches you can take in the future.
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Teach your child basic growth mindset principles. Help your child understand what a growth mindset and fixed mindset are and how they manifest in our language and behavior. For example, if someone says, "I can't do it!" Remind them that "I can't do this yet." Encourage your child to let you know when you or other family members are stuck in a fixed mindset and think together about how to transition to a growth mindset.
Carol Dweck writes when thinking about applying mindset research to parenting: "The best a parent can do is teach their children to love challenges, to be interested in mistakes, to enjoy hard work, and to keep learning." ”
By developing a growth mindset in your own attitudes and behaviors, you will not only be happier and more successful, but you will also help your child find a growth mindset that works for them. You will support them to become happier, more confident, and more successful in all aspects of their lives.