As the psychologist Fromm said, although he worked hard to make progress, he was ignorant of the futility of all his activities; Although his ability to deal with the world has increased, he feels that he is exhausted in his personal life and society; Although he invented new and better ways to conquer nature, he became bogged down in the intricacies of methods and failed to realize that they were meaningful only if they fulfilled man's ends.
As psychologists, how can we face our troubles as ordinary people? When I was a child, I was worried about bad grades; In high school, I was worried about which university to get into; After graduating from college, I have trouble finding a job; Participated in the work and worried about marriage; Getting married is a hassle to buy a house; The house has to worry about having children; gave birth to a child and was worried about milk powder; When the child is older, he starts to worry about the child's schooling.
I finally got through it, and found that people are middle-aged again, with mid-life crisis troubles, husband and wife relationship troubles, debt troubles, physical three high troubles, and parents aging and sick troubles. Endless.
If we don't know the nature of our troubles, it's as if we are in a dark room all our lives, we can't see the light and hope, and we will never be able to get liberation. It is said that afflictions are Bodhi, is it an empty word? What does it mean for me? Pain forced me to search all the way. Even when I find that the people around me are just as troubled as I am, the momentary balance and comfort quickly fades, and even gives birth to deeper compassion and helplessness. Even after reading so many psychological works, they find that psychologists can't even save themselves; Even if he was educated in materialism since childhood, he couldn't help at all. Finally there is a theory that gives me hope:The essence of afflictions is suffering。Jin Mushui mentioned in "The Psychology of Siddhartha": Suffering has two meanings in Indian Sanskrit: "change and corruption". The first meaning of bitterness isThe pain of changeFor example, the wind is beautiful in the morning, and the storm is violent in the afternoon, and everything is in flux. The second meaning of bitterness is:The pain of corruptionFor example, the company expanded aggressively last year, but this year it is facing closure, and good things cannot last. The third meaning of bitterness is:Troubles, pains, pains: i.e. our psychological reaction to the first two kinds of suffering. Suffering on top of suffering, that is, afflictions. Note that the first two layers of suffering exist objectively, and we haven't had time to react subjectively yet. Suffering, on the other hand, is our subjective response to suffering in our client's worldThat's where we come in
From the above it can be seen that the chain of bitterness is:
Change and corruption are inevitable, but pain is not necessarily, we can choose to react, we can choose not to react, and we can choose how to react.
What produces suffering? The answer is impermanenceImpermanence means impermanence。All laws in the world are impermanent, the world is always changing dramatically, and every seven years, the cells of our body will also be renewed. Continuing to analyze, why are all laws impermanent? Because all laws are the product of a combination of conditions, modern science has gone to quantum mechanics and confirmed this.
The Dharma of Dependent Arising is a Buddhist worldview: All the dharmas in the world are the product of cause and effect.
This principle is very simple and relatively easy to understand, but it is not so easy to apply in life. For example, when you go to work in the morning, your wife kisses you goodbye, and when you come back from work in the evening, she is unhappy and ignores you. How do you react at this time? Will you feel that she is too fickle and has poor emotional management? In fact, you are asking your wife to be a robot and always maintain a good mood, so how is it possible, all laws in the world are impermanent.
Therefore, the seemingly simple truth, why is it the Noble Truth, don't underestimate it, to achieve the unity of knowledge and action, there is still a long way to go, as long as you think about it, just like reason, it is kung fu. The so-called ignorance is ignorance, such as people in the dark night, it is difficult to come to the conclusion, the reason is not enough, the director can be harmonious. Buddhism is the study of purification, which teaches that our minds are not attached, and the Diamond Sutra says that we should give birth to our minds without dwelling, and this is what it says. The Dharma has said so much, and it doesn't leave this.