The talented girl Su Xuelin married her husbandI don't sleep in the new year, and I regret it in my old age.
* During the period, the talented female writer Su Xuelin and her husband Zhang Baoling have been married for 36 years and have never slept together. In her later years, she felt deeply guilty and sighed: "I'm sorry for him." ”
In that era, a woman's lack of talent was virtue, and marriage matters were decided by her parents. Su Xuelin is an exception, she is diligent and studious, admitted to the school, and constantly improves herself, and even studies abroad to get in touch with new ideas.
Well-informed, she is unwilling to blindly follow her parents' arrangements, and she is disgusted with the marriage partner arranged by her father. However, in the face of pressure, she relented in France.
Su Xuelin began to write letters to the object arranged by his father, trying to get to know Zhang Baoling, a rich child who also had study abroad experience. But after a few correspondences, she found out that the other party was a straightforward science and engineering man, completely unromantic, and completely different from her own personality.
Every time she communicates, she has the feeling of talking to a duck. So she decided to write to her father, hoping that he would break off the marriage. The father who received the letter was furious, and Su's mother pressured her to go home to complete the marriage on the grounds of illness.
In fact, Su Xuelin, who is studying in France, has already met the object of his choice. However, her free love behavior is met with strong opposition from her family, who constantly put pressure on her.
The psychological stress was more torturous than the physical pain, and it put her in a dilemma.
During this period, Su Xuelin kept receiving letters from home, urging her to contact her fiancé Zhang Baoling more, and also told her that the situation at home was not optimistic. It didn't take long for Su Xuelin to receive the news that her father had died and her mother was seriously ill, and she finally decided to drop out of school and go home for the sake of filial piety.
Despite giving up her French lover, under pressure from her mother, she married Zhang Baoling. Su Xuelin prides herself on being a talented woman, with outstanding literary talents, likes romance, and her emotional expression is also relatively warm.
However, her fiancé Zhang Baoling is a full science and engineering man, and he likes to be straightforward in his words and actions. Therefore, their married life is basically not speculative, and it is difficult for each other to adapt to each other's expressions, and they are not happy to get along.
They had tried to get along well with each other before the flower, but the results were not satisfactory. Once, they looked at the flowers in front of them and the moon on the horizon, Su Xuelin was attracted by the beauty and romance of flowers, and said that he liked flowers.
However, Zhang Baoling said that flowers are just tools used by plants to pollinate and spread seeds, which made Su Xuelin lose his heart to appreciate flowers in an instant. So, she looked up at the moon and sighed, "The moon in the sky is so round." ”
However, Zhang Baoling replied: "It's not as good as the circle I drew with a compass." As soon as these words came out, the scenery was ruined, no matter how beautiful the flowers, no matter how round the moon, no matter how bright the night, I am afraid that no one would want to continue to appreciate it.
Zhang Baoling is a typical science and engineering man, although he doesn't understand the wind and snow, and he has no romantic cells, but he has a unique gentleness. He often took the initiative to visit Su Xuelin, who was teaching, at Wuhan University in his spare time.
Even in order to accompany Su Xuelin to teach at Soochow University, he gave up his favorite job. Zhang Baoling is a talkative and friendly person, but in Su Xuelin's opinion, he has never been able to enter his heart.
After trying, Su Xuelin still felt that it was not suitable for Zhang Baoling, and no longer counted on marriage, and only wanted to have a career. As a result, she became a famous talented female writer in the ** period.
Perhaps in the final analysis, Su Xuelin didn't like this arranged marriage, so she didn't take the heart to understand her husband, and she didn't want to do anything for her marriage.
She once said, "There are many unmarried people in the world, and there are unladylike people, I have literature and academics, why bother to get married!" Although the married life of the two was very unhappy, Su Xuelin never remarried in his life, and Zhang Baoling never remarried in his life.
After 36 years of marriage, the two have actually lived together for less than 4 years. They never slept together, and of course they did not leave a son and a half daughter. The two who were once stubborn finally woke up in their old age.
Before Zhang Baoling died, he told his family about his guilt for Su Xuelin and that he shouldn't have been stubborn about her.
Su Xuelin reflected in his later years, blaming himself for not getting along better with Zhang Baoling, causing mutual regret. Perhaps they both have emotional entanglements, but they just stubbornly stick to their positions and are unwilling to compromise.
Maybe Su Xuelin herself didn't realize whether she hated the arranged marriage system or the other party. Fortunately, we live in an era of marriage freedom, which allows each couple to have more opportunities to understand each other, to face and resolve conflicts, as long as they are willing to bow their heads and understand each other, they will be able to go to the end and grow old together.