Hello everyone, I'm "little him", after reading this article, you can click on it if you think it's good".Attention”。He has material and focuses on funny.
My girlfriend and I were dating in the cinema and the first time I kissed her, I almost threw up because I wasn't used to the taste in her mouth.
I said to her, "Let's stop kissing in the future, okay?" ”
She said, "Good! ”
When I was wondering, she said to me, "I can't stand the smell of garlic in your mouth, I'm vomiting sour water." ”
I was so embarrassed that the whole movie theater laughed
When I came home from overtime today, I was very tired, so I went to bed very early, but my husband's loud snoring was one after another, and the big mouth was still open and closed to cooperate with this, so noisy that I couldn't sleep, so I went to the living room on the spot and took a ** and threw it in his mouth.
Well? What is this operation? ）
Unexpectedly, the husband of the second goods actually chewed and chewed. I keep making delicious looks.
Ah, laugh at me
After divorcing my wife, I celebrated at home with a drink. Unexpectedly, the old man came, he looked at the wine bottle on the table and asked me curiously, "Are you borrowing wine to kill your sorrows?" I sneered and said, "No, it's a celebration, come and drink together?" "You rabbit cub," the old man jumped up and pointed at my nose and scolded, "I didn't even drink anything to eat and drink."
The bus is more crowded, a man and a woman seem to be because they stepped on their feet, or hit their chests and quarreled, the sound is getting louder and louder, and the scolding is getting more and more ugly, the driver probably can't stand it, he looked back, and then braked suddenly, the man and woman kissed together smoothly, so the next road was very quiet, and the whole car was speechless in internal injuries.
In the morning, I went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, and I asked the vendor, "Have you ever used pesticides for this dish?" The peddler thought for a moment and said, "I guess I can't beat it." ”
The girlfriend cried tears: "You are so selfish, you never care about my feelings, you only know how to take care of yourself." I quickly picked up her face and comforted her, saying, "Baby, don't cry, it's okay, my heart hurts to see you cry!" She shook off my hand: "It's all this time, you still only think that you will."
The company chatted at afternoon tea, and I praised the new handsome guy: I see that you have a cheerful and gentle personality, you must be a daughter slave, and you are also very good for your wife? The handsome guy laughed when he heard it: My girlfriend doesn't have a daughter from anywhere? As soon as I saw that the opportunity had come, my mouth was full of excitement: Why don't I be your daughter? In an instant, everyone stopped talking.
Xiao Wang worked in the personnel department on the 10th floor, and a month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor.
Today, classmate Xiao Wang called the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang here?"
A colleague said: "Xiao Wang is no longer in personnel." ”
Xiao Wang: "AhhhhhWhen did it happen, why didn't I know, I hadn't had time to send him yet?
It's okay, you can go down there and find him......”
In the morning, I took the bus to work, there was a huge blockage, and some people on the bus began to ask for leave.
I was thinking about how to explain if I was late, and when I was making a fuss, a person in front of me picked up the ** and said: "Manager, I may be late today, someone in the car just lost his mobile phone, the police came to investigate, and no one was let go." ”
After listening to her reason, I instantly worshipped! Immediately sent a message to the director! Hehe, I'm a chicken thief
One day with the old man to assemble the cabinet just bought, there is a kind of screw as long as the hammer is gently smashed into it, the old man is strong, the palm of the hand will go in, I am afraid of the pain with the hammer, the old man made fun of me: "You still use the hammer, I can do it with my hands." ”
I was in a twitch and said disdainfully, "The biggest difference between humans and animals is that humans can use tools ......."”
Before I could finish speaking, I realized something was wrong and quickly covered my damn foul mouth ...... with my hand
Since then, every time I go to my father-in-law's house, he will never treat me with as much wine and meat as usual
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