Xiaoyi suffered her husband's sentence, and later her husband returned, but the two did not return to basic intimate life. The husband still takes care of the children and takes care of the family, but he refuses to be a little one, and when Xiao Yi approaches her husband one by one, her husband hurries away like an electric shock. This caused Xiao Yi great pain, and it was not because he felt great harm due to rejection, and occasionally he couldn't control his emotions, so he had to be like a husband to get angry, and at this time, often the husband just stayed away. Xiaoyi suspects that her husband is all caused by not breaking off extramarital relationships. Is it as the little one thinks?
Actually, Xiao Yi's husband didn't fall into an extramarital affair again, I asked Xiao Yi about her husband's schedule, her husband is very good to the children, in addition to going to work a day, he gets off work, including the previous sentence, and it is also a very accidental behavior in a very accidental state, not that he doesn't love Xiao Yi, or has no sense of responsibility (don't spray if you don't like it), and there are indeed some cases where the sentence is not so heinous.
Xiaoyi's husband is deeply aware of the harm he has done to Xiaoyi and the family, and he also realizes that his past behavior has caused great pain to the family. He genuinely wants to return to his family, take care of his children and family, and try his best to make up for his past mistakes. But there is a high probability that there is a deep reason for his rejection of Xiaoyi, and under normal circumstances, if this reason occurs between husband and wife, the intimate behavior will be greatly affected afterwards.
Everyone, even if it is a couple with a good relationship, must keep this in mind and never commit it, after committing it, it will be difficult for your partner to get close to you again, that is:
Threatening the other person, even behaviorally.
Many women encounter their partners being sentenced, they will ask the other party to confess the details, but the more they confess, the more angry they become, and the emotions will be angry, or if they don't confess, women will think that their partner is particularly bad and angry, and women are particularly prone to emotional and threatening verbal behaviors, such as:
I'm going to tell your parents;It is difficult for women to control this aspect when they often threaten each other with harsh words, and they may develop further threatening behaviorsI'm going to sue you for leadership;
I'm going to ruin you;
I'm going to make you lose your job;
The child will never recognize you as a father in the future;
Even if you get divorced, you don't want to take a penny, you ...... out of the house
Go directly to the other party's parents to complain;I can understand the anger behind this series of practices, but this way of dealing with emotions is obviously not good for dealing with betrayal, once such a thing happens, many marriages cannot be saved, and some marriages are forced to come back because of the other party's work, family pressure, etc., and it is easy to have serious rejection of intimacy and the problem of cold violence in life.Pull the child in front of his partner and expose his misdeeds;
Run to your partner's unit and tell your leadership colleagues, whether you say it euphemistically or forcefully, it's a threat;
send a small essay to the circle shared by her husband and herself;
In the case of the same company, go to the work group to talk about your partner's private affairs;
Even take the other party's work situation, materials, etc. in hand to threaten the other party's ......
Many women ask me for help, what should I do if my husband seriously rejects me in this situation? Core Elements:Patience.
Because of these threats that occur between you, which only happens between the most hateful enemies, you have been enemies for a long time.
Let's think about it, how do people generally treat their enemies? Do you want to get closer, or do you want to stay away? Is it a natural way to deal with an enemy with vigilance or without vigilance?
When you are wary of someone, do you choose to be intimate with them? Or is it far away? Is your phone open to him, or is the password locked tightly? ......
Although he shouldn't do that as a partner, he feels that he does it instinctively, and when identity morality faces instinct, most of them lose.
So when your partner is very rejective of you, he is basically balancing the relationship between the enemy and the lover, and he can't make the transition from an enemy to a lover all at once.
So patience is required.
After a long period of time, he will feel that you are not threatening, and the relationship will be calm for a long time, and it will be easy for you to become acquaintances from enemies, and then it will be the transition stage from acquaintances to lovers.
Don't think for at least three or five months that he rejects you because he has a ghost in mind and is disgusted with you, and you have to understand that he needs a recovery period. The rhythm of the two of you is different, and if you stay calm for at least three or five months, he will recognize that you are not a threat.
If you can't calm down, and you continue to threaten him every once in a while because of his rejection, then the process will stretch indefinitely until the relationship goes a strange way and never recovers.
Watching the children, the two of them cooperating in cooking, housework, finances, attending family and friend gatherings, etc., at least superficial work has to be done, then at least the attitude you express is: I am living a good life, I am trying to pull myself out of my emotional state.
After a long time in this state, the other person is most likely to realize that your threatening words or behaviors were all done in an emotional state, and with his return, your emotions will no longer burst so much, so your threatening words and behaviors towards him will no longer be there.
This lasts for at least two or three months, and the way he feels about you will really change. Don't be in a hurry, don't be emotional.
When a woman encounters rejection from her partner, she is generally very painful and emotional. If you work hard, then you need an outlet for your emotions, you can talk to your friends, relatives, counselors, and relieve your emotions, and don't vent your emotions on your wary partner when the relationship has been restored.
Secondly, it is to understand the importance of the above-mentioned "patience", as long as you know that this is a necessary process, you can have the stamina to persevere and "keep the clouds open and see the moon", and understanding this will help you deal with your mood swings.
In the above case, Xiaoyi needs to understand her husband's inner state, needs to control her emotions, avoid getting angry or arguing in front of her husband as much as possible, and never treat the other party as a criminal through the ages.
He made mistakes, but he was still a person, he was an individual, and he had human characteristics, and the characteristics of human feelings were gradual and could not be changed all at once.