In my eyes, the advantages of children outweigh their disadvantages. She is smart and diligent, studious and polite, well-behaved and sensible, and does not pick about food and clothing.
But as I deepened my studies, reality hit me again and again and hovered on the verge of collapse.
Stage 1: I didn't pay attention to my child's learning.
When I was in elementary school, I didn't enroll my children in any tutoring classes, and I firmly believed that as long as the children grew up happily and had a cheerful personality, it was okay, but as time went by, I found that the smiles on the children's faces became less and less.
In the school's implicit judgment criteria, if the child's academic performance is not good, then her happiness is greatly reduced.
I have come to realize more and more that grades determine whether a child is happy or not, and how popular a child ......I realized that I was too late to start as a parent.
Raise your eyes and look at the surrounding parents, all kinds of Olympiad Pinyin tutoring classes are very happy.
Stage 2: Insomnia, anxiety, and all kinds of flavors come in.
In desperation, I was involved in the army of supplementary classes, although I was reluctant to spend money.
I first enrolled my child in an English class, and the tutoring agency said that he could participate in the point test of some famous schools, and the so-called point test is that some famous schools are authorized by the tutoring training class, and after the test, the famous school will have fewer places to be admitted on the basis of merit. As a result, he was not admitted, and the number of places was negligible.
The first year of junior high school shuttles through such informal tutoring institutions, spending money on the one hand, and tired children and parents on the other.
Looking back, I suddenly found that my child's studies had not grown, and in the face of the money spent, I just kept complaining that my child didn't work hard and didn't work hard enough, and I couldn't stand the money and energy I spent.
The worst result came when the child was last in the class every time he took the exam. I also rarely talk about my children's studies among colleagues and relatives, my children rarely communicate with classmates and parents, and my children often say, who can be worse than me!
I was sad all day, I didn't have any interest in dressing up, and I couldn't sleep!
Countless sleepless nights have been spent reflecting on what went wrong. What destroys the child's self-confidence, robs her of her joy, and strains our mother-son relationship.
When one path doesn't work, it's time to take another path!
The third stage: respect the laws of education and start anew.
I began to learn to reflect on myself and get to know myself and my children anew.
All walks of life in society can survive, can't my child be able to survive in the future, I am finally willing to admit that my child is an ordinary person like me, how can I ask her to be outstanding.
Excessive demands and impossible goals can destroy children and families.
The first thing I want to do is to build up my child's self-confidence, I no longer force my child to enroll in cram school, I analyze her learning first, and let her test score get out of the last place in the class.
This stage is very difficult, and I will want to give up repeatedly, but I will always stick to the belief that I will win, and finally I have the progress of the first exam after half a year.
When I no longer forced my children, but encouraged them according to the situation, my real sense of relaxation was also passed on to my children, learning is completely her own business, and she has to take on the responsibility of learning.
used to force her to learn, but now she wants to learn. There are more than 100 days left before the college entrance examination, and I am just guarding my children by the side, not pointing fingers.
The law of teaching is to cultivate people in ten years and a hundred years, and to find oneself on the road to growth! Education is a lifelong thing, and parents should not rush for quick success.