In the cultural logic of the Chinese people, everything must be done by finding someone to entrust the relationship, and if you want to get a promotion and more purposes, you also rely on gifts to pave the way. Today, what I want to say is that gift-giving is really useless, and sometimes it can even be counterproductive.
Xiao Wang, a cousin of the author, in previous years, took advantage of the Chinese New Year to give gifts to the leader, and the year before last when he went to eat a closed door, the second time he went although the leader accepted the gift, but the matter has been making excuses not to do. Cousin Xiao Wang felt that since he had sent it twice, of course he couldn't send it for the third time, otherwise his previous efforts would be wasted and he would have to send it every year, so he continued to send it during the Spring Festival in 2024.I told him, if you go on like this, it's a bottomless pit, and you can't get things done. What you have to do is to focus on how to strengthen yourself, rather than speculating and trying to find a way to solve the problem through the back door.
First, gift-giving is nothing more than a reluctance and no way
* Master Chen Yinke once said,"In our land, most of these people have done nothing more than the word "reluctant" throughout their lives, the so-called scenery is just reluctance and skill, and the bumpy road is just reluctance and no way, basically nothing more than that."
Why should you go for gift-giving? You're just trying to get someone else to open a door for you. This door will allow you to get what you can't get through normal means.
If you don't give gifts, you may not have a better way to solve the problems you are facing at the moment. Because I don't have the ability to solve problems.
Why don't you have the ability? Isn't he strong enough?
Second, it is better to rely on others than on yourself
It's almost rotten. The mountains will fall, and everyone will run. Rely on yourself alone, and you will never deceive yourself. This kind of old saying is easy to understand, but it is difficult to do things. People have to learn to be self-reliant. Sometimes you don't find out that the gift has been given, and the person who should have stammered has also stammered, but as a result, he has not done anything for you, and your problem has not been solved.
Is gift-giving really the best way to solve problems?
3. Don't treat gift-giving as ***
Some people are accustomed to slapping up the upper echelons, "servile and servile", showing favor to stronger people, and then letting people raise their noble hands, let you go, or open the back door, and take shortcuts in the future. Don't you know that this kind of practice will not see the sun, let alone stand the test. One day, once it is revealed to the world, it will be spurned by the whole society.
Our traditional morality requires us to behave with a clear conscience, rather than being opportunistic and flattering.
At present, there are eight regulations in the system, and the treatment of political and business relations in the system is also the word "pro-Qing", so don't go astray because of gifts, let alone feel guilty because you don't give gifts.
IV. Conclusion
Our culture is moral and modest, but it always lacks the enterprising spirit of Taoism and the institutional constraints of Legalism. The culture of Confucianism makes people more inclined to a pleasing personality, so there is also the saying of "governing people" and "governing people".
This is where the way of gift-giving comes in.
Of course, if it is a gift given out of gratitude to others, it is not what we call gift-giving today.
In the new era, we should reflect on ourselves, focus more on how to improve our professional skills, and seek progress in the ability to do things.
Disclaimer: Personal opinion, for reference only.