I can't remember when I first came into contact with the article "I and the Altar of Earth", but when I first read it, I still had a young and immature face, and I felt that this article was no different from other articles, and I didn't have any special feelings; When it was again, it was already the age of no confusion, and I burst into tears.
It's not why.,That day I inadvertently re-read this book again.,I don't know what to read.,I was actually touched by his real state of mind in the book.,Sitting in the car.,Tears fell inadvertently.,Afraid of misunderstanding by others.,And secretly.,Gently erased.,It seems to really understand the hero's very depressed mood at that time.,It's very empathetic.。
Once, when going down the stairs, I was not careful, stepped on the air, my foot was twisted, I could still walk slowly in the morning, I couldn't do it at all in the afternoon, my ankle was swollen, so I went to the hospital and did a slight treatment, the doctor said it was a bit serious, I needed to put a plaster, I was worried that the weather was hot, and it was inconvenient, so I didn't play after discussing with my family, so I went home to rest for a while. At the beginning, it was really difficult to move an inch, and at that moment I felt that life without feet was really too difficult. It's just a small episode in life, not a setback at all. Think about Shi Tiesheng who has been paralyzed in a wheelchair and lived strongly for so many years, what kind of person can do such persistence, probably a person whose soul is shining!
He is lonely, but fortunately he has the Temple of Earth with him, which seems to have become his spiritual paradise, happy or unhappy, he always has to go to the Temple of Earth to sit. He told all his secrets to the altar of earth, and what he couldn't share with others could be said to the altar of earth. At the altar of earth, he saw all kinds of people and speculated about their lives; In the altar of earth, he also saw his heart clearly. Probably everyone has such an altar in their hearts.
Chapter 1: Me and the Altar of Earth.
I often feel that there is a taste of fate in this: it seems that this ancient garden is waiting for me, and I have been waiting there for more than 400 years after all the vicissitudes of life.
For more than 400 years, it has eroded the exaggerated glaze of the eaves of the ancient hall on one side, faded the vermilion on the door wall, collapsed a section of high wall and scattered jade carved railings, the old cypress trees around the altar are more and more gloomy, and the wild grasses and vines everywhere are also lush and free.
In a densely populated city, there is such a peaceful place, as if God had painstakingly arranged it.
For the first few years after I had a crippled leg, I couldn't find a job, I couldn't find a way out, and suddenly I couldn't find anything, so I rocked my wheelchair and always went to it, just because it was an escape from one world to another.
I wrote in that article: "With nowhere to go, I spend all day in this garden. It's the same as going to and from work, so I take my wheelchair here when others go to work. “
I couldn't go in except a few halls, except for the altar I couldn't go up but could only look at it from all angles, and I had been under every tree in the altar, and almost every meter of grass had my wheel prints. No matter what season, what weather, what time of day, I have been in this garden. Sometimes I stay for a while and go home, sometimes I stay until the moon shines all over the ground.
At last it was finally figured out: a person, born, this is no longer a matter to be debated, but only a fact given to him by God; God has already guaranteed the outcome of this fact in passing when He gave it to us, soDeath is something that does not need to be rushed, and death is a festival that will inevitably come
Thankfully, there are some things that no one can change. For example, the sunset in the stone door of the altar, the moment when the silent light is tiled, every bump in the ground is reflected brilliantly;
The taste is the most unclear, the taste can not be written but can only be smelled, and you have to smell it to understand it. The taste is even difficult to remember, and you can only remember all its emotions and meanings when you smell it again. Therefore I often go to the garden.
She just didn't know how long it would take and what the end of the process would be. Every time I wanted to leave, she wordlessly helped me prepare, helped me get into the wheelchair, and watched me rock the car and turn out of the courtyard; What would happen to her after that, I didn't think about it back then.
She thought about it and finally said to herself: "Anyway, I can't prevent him from going out, the future days are his own, and if something really happens to him in that garden, I will have to bear this suffering." ”
She thought that as long as her son could live, even if he died, she was convinced that a person could not just live, and that his son had to have a way to his own happiness; And as for this path, no one can guarantee that her son will eventually find it - such a mother is destined to live the most miserable mother.
I only had one thing in my heart: But my mother is gone. He put down the back of the chair, lay down, and sat up as if he had not slept until the end of the day, and sat up, in a trance, and sat up straight to the ancient altar in a daze, and then gradually the moonlight gradually floated, and then I understood a little in my heart that my mother could no longer come to this garden to look for me.
I was studying in the garden when I heard two old men walking and saying, "I didn't expect this garden to be so big." "I put down the book and thought how many anxious roads my mother had traveled to find her son in such a large garden. For the first time in many years, I realized that not only were my ruts everywhere in this garden, but also my mother's footprints where my ruts were.
What about dreams? What about the four seasons in dreams? Spring is a cry on the tip of a tree, summer is a drizzle in a shout, autumn is a land in a drizzle, and winter is a lonely pipe on a clean earth.
Who can make sense of the world? There are many things in the world that are unspeakable. You can complain about why God wants to bring so much suffering on this world, or you can fight for the elimination of all kinds of suffering, and you can be proud of it, but if you think one more step and you will fall into a deep confusion
Why do people live? Because people want to live, in the end, this is what it is, and the real name of man is called: desire.
But why am I living in a panic, like a hostage? Later you understand, you understand that you are wrong, that you don't live to write, but to write to live.
Now it's okay, you're no longer panicking, you're no longer a hostage, you're free. Forget it, how can I be free? Don't forget that the real name of man is: desire. So you have to know that the most effective way to eliminate panic is to eliminate desire. But I also know that the most effective way to destroy human nature is to eliminate desire. So, is it to eliminate desire and panic at the same time? Or do you preserve your desires and humanity at the same time?
Chapter 2: When I Was Twenty-One.
I don't live in paradise, and I never believe in paradise. But I believe that there is a paradise in the world, and there is such a source in the world, and if not, I am afraid that no one will want to live anymore; If the source is sometimes weak, in my opinion, at least ridicule does not make it strong. For thousands of years, it has been used as a reality, but also as a belief, and this has continued. It originates from the heart and flows into the heart, and it is given to the heart and because of the heart, and this continues. If you want it to be strong, what do you want for the piety of sacrificing your heart?
In the confusion of science, in the chaotic point of fate, man can only beg for his own spirit. Whatever we believe, it is the description and guidance of our own spirit.
Chapter 3: The Acacia Tree.
Sometimes people just want to be alone for a while. Grief becomes enjoyment.
Chapter 5: A Short Note Under the Wall.
I was immediately inspired: don't separate people from meaning. It's not that people have desires, it's people who are desires. This desire is energy, energy is movement, and if it is movement, it will go to the front or the future.
There is always some trouble between memory and impression: memory says that it may not be under this wall, but impression always brings the old man in memory and really comes under this wall.
Chapter 7: My Dream.
God has never given the words "happiest" to anyone, and He has set an eternal distance in front of the desires of all people, and He has given each person a limit fairly. If happiness cannot be understood on the endless road beyond one's own limitations, then Stetson's inability to run is exactly the same as Lewis's inability to run faster, both of which are the source of frustration and pain.
Chapter 8: Good Luck Design.
To have knowledge is not only to have knowledge of things, but also to have understanding of people.
Her method of educating you does not come from pedagogy, but from her heartfelt love, heartfelt trembling and prayer, heartfelt composure and passion for all living beings, even all things in heaven and earth.
But it doesn't matter, these awards and awards are not enough to constitute your good luck, your good luck means that you don't actually spend much time on your homework. You have a wide range of hobbies, versatile and versatile, and you have many whimsical ideas, and you don't think so, and you still focus on all your interests.
Dreams intoxicate you, and distance becomes joy; Pursuit fulfills you, and both failure and success are accompaniments; When life proves its worth in the form of beauty, happiness is enjoyment, and so is pain.
Chapter 9: Memories and Impressions 1
A great physicist once said, "Physics doesn't tell us what the world is, it tells us what we can talk about about the world." That gave me courage.
Gently I go, just as I come gently" - I said that Xu Zhimo's poem may not involve life and death, but in my opinion, it is the most appropriate attitude towards life and death, and it is really no better as an epitaph. Death is never done all at once. Chen Cun once said to me: People die little by little, first here, then there, step by step. He said it calmly, and I nonchalantly agreed, that we had both lived to die less concerned.
I suddenly have a new understanding of my hometown: people's hometown is not limited to a specific piece of land, but a vast mood, which is not limited by space and time; Once this mood is evoked, it means that you have returned to your hometown.
It was around that time that celibacy went from helplessness to firmness.
But this is not nothing. Like the wind, what does the wind look like? It's the shaking of a tree, the change of a cloud, the scraping of a hat, or the ...... of eyes that fascinate the dust and sand
The real hardships of some people have become the pleasures woven by others, and the despair and prayers of one era have become the dashing literary dispatch of another, which cannot be said to be unjustifiable, but in the meantime it always seems that a huge void has been opened, from which something more important has leaked out.
Chapter 10: Memories and Impressions 2
Memory, so is a cage. The impression is the sky beyond the cage.
This period of childhood never seems to grow up, because no matter what year or month, there is always a childhood in this world where there is nowhere to go.
This is how history is often cut off and annihilated. Mei Niang never seems to exist. The most beautiful time of a person's life seems to have dissipated without a trace. A person's rich soul can be silent until it is silent.
She knew that I was learning to write**, but she didn't give me a lot of specific instructions, only said to me: "Writing is the most important thing to be in a hurry, sometimes you have to wait." ”
I am now over half a hundred years old, and I know that the deepest prayer in the heart of a person at this age is the safety of his family. So I felt more and more deeply the suffering of my mother back then, and I thought more and more of Aunt Sun's time, and her suffering was only doubly deep.
In the spring, all hearts wander, no matter where the person is. are struggling. In that disabled spring, a disabled young man finally saw his disability. I saw the disability, but I couldn't get rid of the spring. The strong spring breeze is also a cage, a shackle, a purgatory, and a destined road. Hope and prayer. Hesitation and waiting. So that the long summer is in full swing. It is necessary to wait until autumn. When the autumn breeze rises, crazy rock 'n' roll can converge into the language of love.
Autumn, all the way to winter, is the season for writing. Until death. Until the dust buries time, time seals the waves of the past.
Chapter 11: Missing the Temple of Earth.
It was another zero degree of writing. Zero, not just once. Whenever you stand on the inherent difficulties of life, on the prayers of the soul, you return to zero. Returning there again and again is like walking into the altar of earth again and again, taking refuge in silence again and again, walking back to the starting point of life, and looking again, where are you going? Have they strayed from what Adam and Eve are looking for each other?
Missing the Temple of Earth is to constantly look back at the zero degree. Give up the power and, of course, sycophancy.