Do you want to forgive you for cheating? It's a black-and-white question, only to be or not to.
When most women encounter extramarital affairs, they want to leave, but they can't let go or are unwilling; I want to forgive, but cheating is like a thorn in the victim's heart, and it often hurts when I think about it.
Should I leave or should I forgive? Take a look at the following stories of women who forgive their husbands for cheating, and I'm sure you'll have your own answer:
01 @喜欢下雨, 36 years old, teacher
My husband and I met on a blind date, and he is in the electrical appliance business. The family thought that he was honest and reliable and would make money, and then got married after getting along for more than half a year.
The days after marriage are also relatively sweet, if he is at home, he will help with housework, take care of children, and be very generous to my parents, colleagues and family members said that I found a treasure, and when I heard their comments, I was secretly happy.
But in the second year of marriage, a woman came to the doorSeeing that the secret couldn't be hidden, he confessed that he had accidentally done something wrong a year ago, saying that he had made it clear to the other party and hoped that I would forgive him.
When he first returned to the family, he did everything better than before, but I still can't help if he contacted her behind my back, whether he gave her the necklace he gave me, and whether those sweet words were also told to her.
So I started to ask my husband about the details of his cheating, and I started to quarrel with him hysterically at every turn, questioning his itinerary, and doubting any woman around him.
Gradually, he got tired of my interrogations, and often worked overtime late into the night, and I saw him and his brother say that sometimes they really wanted to divorce, but he felt that he was sorry for me and made me what I am now.
It's been two years nowTime has not only smoothed out the damage that cheating has done to me, but has made the marriage worse and worse
02 @阳光, 29 years old, Director of Operations
To be honest, my relationship with my husband got better after forgiving him for cheating.
He and I are campus love to marriage, people around us often say that we are a pair of golden boys and girls, the appearance is comparable, the family background is right, plus many years of relationship, we got married after graduation.
After I got married, I was busy with my own career, and I came home quite late after working overtime, and when I got home, I washed and fell asleep, and I didn't communicate well for a long time. He told me many times that we should have a good talk, and I thought I was busy with this time.
It wasn't until I found his chat history with a girl in his mobile phone that I knew that the husband I had been in love and married for almost ten years had cheated on me.
After the showdown, he also confessed happily that since I got married, I have been too busy with work, and he is dealing with all the big and small things in the familyHe understands my work and is very supportive, but also hopes that I can share a little time with our family and him.
He also encountered a lot of pressure at work during this time, and he repeatedly tried to tell me that I had refused, so in an accident, he walked with a female colleague in the company.
After hearing my husband's complaint, I reflected for a long timeIt is true that I was absent when he needed to talk and support, and I did not fulfill my due responsibility for the marriage.
I talked to my husband all night that night, and he cut off contact with his colleagues, and I slowed down my work. In the days that followed, we would sometimes travel together and help each other out when we had problems at work.
The relationship seems to have returned to the period of hot love, I can't stop sharing my daily life, my colleague said to me, I feel that I have a lot better complexion during this time, I used to feel that I was not close to the aura, but now I have a very good appearance moistened by love.
In fact, rather than forgiveness, I feel that his cheating is more about making me rightMarriage has a vigilance, reminding me that marriage needs two people to run together.
03 @清水芙蓉, 45 years old, civil servant
My husband and I have been married for more than ten years, the child is eight years old, and my husband has never taken care of the children, almost a widowed marriage. I often don't see my husband for a few days, but in fact, I know that there are people outside my husband.
There's no way, I don't want to get divorced, I can't manage it, I can't even get angry or make trouble, and I divorced before my husband said no, so I didn't know about his cheating.
The woman outside my husband actually has a family, and once the two were in bed by the woman's husband with his family ** in the hotel, and the woman's husband beat him up and beat him hard.
Later, I called ** to his parents to get someone, her parents directly said that they didn't recognize him as a son, and called me, I took the money to settle the matter, apologized again, and begged for mercy, and finally took my husband home, my husband begged me to forgive him This time, he said that he now knows that only I am good to him.
Since this time, my husband has come home every day, meGradually, I communicated with him about the problems between our husband and wife, and he actively cooperated with me and sought help from a professional counselor.
Now the two of us can still buy groceries together and go shopping together, and we also pick me up from work every once in a while, completely like a loving couple.
In fact, I think I am much happier now than before, at least the person who can see him every day, and he also knows that he will give me money when he earns it, so it is worth it for me to forgive this time in exchange for the satisfactory life I have now.
04 Forgiveness is because of reverence for marriage
Being cheated, it seems that many people feel that they have to divorce, but the involvement of marriage is not something that can be cleared up by a simple divorce, not to mention children, just say that the relationship with the people around us for many years will also make us reluctant.
And divorce, in fact, is more to escape our failure in this marriage, but most people forget itEscaping is not a solution, just an optionIf you don't summarize your failures and grow up from your failures, then even if you change countless partners, you will still be the one who failed.
Forgiveness does not mean that you do not have the confidence to leave, but only reverence for the marriage, or hope to be able to leave no regrets in this marriage.
But forgiveness is also a technical job, and forgiveness without a bottom line will only be exchanged for the unscrupulousness of the other party.
Before we forgive each other:
First of all, we should make the other party realize that his behavior has caused us a lot of harm;
secondly, agree on the price of making mistakes again, and the cost must be slightly larger;
Finally, face up to the problems in your marriage, don't dwell on the pain of the past, and solve the problems that exist now is the best way to repair your marriage.
Here, I don't encourage everyone to forgive, whether it's divorce or forgiveness, just hopeYou can learn to grow in this marriage and gradually become a better version of yourself and be your own light.
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