Rural Parents' Knots: The Price of Preference for Sons
In our rural hometown, it is taboo to have a family member die during the first month, let alone before the fifteenth day of the first month. However, Uncle Bai faced the dilemma of having no one to take care of him, and none of his other children were willing to take on this responsibility. How is the story behind this caused by the distorted family relationship?
Uncle Bai's lonely ending is actually of his own making. Because of his patriarchal past, he hurt the hearts of several daughters, and his son and daughter-in-law were unwilling to take care of the sick old man. The root of this family conflict is Uncle Bai's own unfair attitude towards family members.
I realized from an early age that both Uncle Bai and his wife were deeply influenced by patriarchal thinking. In rural areas, this phenomenon is not uncommon. Parents favor their sons, resulting in sons who are unwilling to take care of the elderly, and daughters who are unwilling to fulfill their filial piety because they have been treated unfairly by their parents since childhood. The traditional concept is that the daughter who marries out is like water splashed and can never come back. This is undoubtedly a bad consequence of patriarchal thinking.
Before the 90s, the differential treatment of children in rural areas had serious consequences. The daughter is responsible for household chores and farm work, while the son can easily read or learn a trade. The delicious food in the family is also reserved for the son, and it is difficult for the daughter to enjoy equal treatment. This has led to the boy's habit of being arrogant and selfish, lazy, and accommodating. When their daughter got married, her parents still expected her to help her brother unconditionally. This mentality leads to the difficulty of children in taking care of their parents later.
The elderly in rural areas do not have a pension and are mainly dependent on their children for support in their old age. They are okay with food and clothing, but when they get sick, the burden on their children becomes heavy. However, due to the unfair treatment of their children by their parents, children are reluctant to take the initiative to take responsibility for the care of the elderly. This phenomenon of passing the buck makes many elderly people who are unable to take care of themselves feel desolate in their old age.
Although the situation has improved since the 90s, the unfair treatment of children by parents is still an unsolvable knot, which has caused countless family disputes. Children pass the buck to each other when it comes to taking care of the elderly, making it extremely difficult for many elderly people to live in their old age.
The patriarchal mentality is a cancer, which not only hurts the daughter's heart, but also makes the son develop an irresponsible attitude. The unfair treatment of their children by parents eventually leads to the tragedy of no one to take care of them in their later years. To avoid this, we need to change our traditional beliefs and treat our children as equals, and stop dwelling on outdated ideas. It is only in an atmosphere of equality and respect that the desire of children to take care of their parents together can be truly realized.
Finally, I would like to ask readers, how do you think we can break the injustice of parents towards their children and make family relations more harmonious? We look forward to hearing your views and suggestions. Thank you for reading and supporting! I'm here to talk about homely things