Because my father brought my grandmother to my home to care for the elderly, I couldn't bear to rent a house outside and brought my mother out a few days ago. In the past few days, my relatives have taken turns to accuse me, am I really wrong?
My dad and mom met on a blind date, my mom was married for the second time, and at that time, because of the poor economic conditions of my grandparents' family, my dad didn't have a partner until he was 28 years old. Considering these factors, the grandparents reluctantly agreed to the marriage.
After my mother got married, my grandmother made a fuss about separating the family, and finally divided two rooms for my parents. Since then, my parents have lived alone, and my father, influenced by my uncle, went to the market to do some small business.
After that, all the farm work in the family fell on my mother, and a year later she became pregnant. Later, when I was born, my grandmother saw that I was a girl and immediately turned around and left.
Mom's grandmother didn't cook a meal for the whole month, and my father was going to the market to do business, so my mother took me at home. Of course, I would like to thank my aunt here, she sees my mother as pitiful, and often comes to the house to help my mother do something.
My mother also remembers this kindness, so after she is out of confinement, my mother will always stand up to help whenever there is something in her uncle's house. This made my grandmother even more unhappy, thinking that my mother actually helped my aunt and didn't help her.
My grandmother often pointed at my mother's nose and scolded her, saying that my mother had no conscience and that my mother's elbow was turned out. Of course, I also scolded my aunt's family, and my aunt is an honest person, and every time I am scolded, I can't fight back.
In the end, my aunt was scolded so much that I asked my mother not to help her. Therefore, my mother and aunt also gradually became fading, so that my grandmother stopped for a while.
When I was in junior high school, my family's economy was really not very good, and my father couldn't make much money from a small business, so the family needed to spend money in all aspects at that time. Watching the people in the village build houses one after another, my mother also wanted to build a new earthen house in the family.
So I discussed with my parents that I might as well go to work outside with the people in the village, and save some money to repair the house for a few years. The two of them immediately decided to go out to work, but my placement became a problem.
Dad approached Grandma and wanted to stay at Grandma's house during my weekends and winter and summer vacations. Grandma quickly shook her head when she heard this, "No, how can I have the time to show you the child, I have a lot of things in this family." ”
This was quite chilling for my mother, who was working outside her uncle with her three children. But my grandmother couldn't tolerate me alone, so she rejected my dad. Of course, in the end, grandpa nodded and agreed, saying that I should be obedient during the holidays, and I would be indispensable for me to eat a bite of farm work together.
Since then, I have lived with my grandparents, and every time I come home from vacation, I consciously follow my grandparents to work in the fields, but my grandmother always says that I am slow to do my work and do not do it well, so I listen silently.
At that time, I hoped that my parents would come home sooner, but I knew that my family needed money, so I kept suppressing it.
After graduating from junior high school, I was admitted to an ordinary high school, and my grandmother always said at the dinner table, "What do girls do when they read so many books, they all end up getting married, and they spend a lot of money on studying." ”
Grandma not only said this at the dinner table, but also called ** to my dad to say this. He also said that some people in the village have been admitted to key high schools, and I just can't study, so what's the point of reading in ordinary high schools.
These words had a great impact on me at that time, and if I was in high school, I would have to live at my grandmother's house on weekends and holidays, so I simply told my parents that I should go to secondary school, so that I could go out to work in a few years.
For this reason, I deliberately chose a secondary school in another province, so that I didn't have to go back to my grandmother's house for the whole semester. It was also from this moment that I was far away from my grandmother, and I usually don't go home, because the school is far away from my hometown, the distance back and forth is long, and the fare is not cheap.
During the summer vacation, I went directly to the city where my parents worked, and after living together, I realized that my parents' relationship is also very delicate, and they often quarrel. Slowly I learned that since my dad came out to work, he often asked his co-workers to drink and play cards together, and my mother would quarrel with him if she was uncomfortable, and my dad had a bad temper, so the two quarreled very much every time.
The technical secondary school was originally three years, and after two years of study, I was assigned to the factory for internship, and since then I have an income, and I no longer ask my parents for money in life, and I can save some money for my mother.
In the end, my parents did not return to their hometown to repair the house, because the two of them were already used to working outside, and I also went to my parents' city at that time, and we worked hard for a few years, and finally saved money to buy a house outside and pay a down payment.
Grandpa passed away two years ago, and after finishing grandpa's funeral, my uncle said to my dad directly, "You take mom away, I'm in charge of Dad's pension, and you are also your parents' son, so you should be responsible for one." ”
Dad was silent and didn't speak, but nodded for a long time. This made my mother a little uncomfortable, because my grandparents have been living with my uncle and aunt all these years, and their family has built a small two-story building in their hometown, which is very wide. Now that my grandfather has passed away, my uncle wants to push my grandmother to our house.
When I got home, my parents had a big quarrel over this matter, and the two did not reach an agreement on this matter, so when they returned from their hometown a few days later, they did not take my grandmother out with them.
During the Qingming Festival last year, my father returned to his hometown to go to the grave. A few days later, he returned from his hometown, carrying his luggage and his grandmother. It turned out that this time my father went home and my uncle talked about my grandmother's care again, and said that my father was not filial, and he had been working outside all these years, and he had not fulfilled his filial piety to the elderly, so my father immediately made a decision to take my grandmother out.
Although my mother felt a little uncomfortable, she didn't show it to her face. Silently took the luggage and went to the kitchen to cook for Dad and Grandma.
In the evening, my mother came to me to discuss it, because our house is a two-bedroom house with only two bedrooms, and now that my grandmother is here, we can only live in one room with me.
To be honest, I really don't want to sleep in the same bed with my grandmother, and my bed is very small. But I can't kick my grandmother out, although I don't want to, but I silently accept it.
My grandmother stayed at my house for a week and I couldn't sleep well every night because the bed was narrow and my grandmother couldn't sleep well. Grandma is not very hygienic, often spits in the bedroom, and often coughs when she sleeps at night.
And my grandmother also likes to tell me to pour water for her after I go to sleep, these are small things, and I think I can bear it. But I always felt that my grandmother smelled of her, and I felt uncomfortable sleeping with her.
On the weekend, I just changed the cot and went outside to buy a bunk bed, thinking that at least I could have a separate bed. I thought I'd at least change into my favorite four-piece suit, so I could sleep a little more comfortably.
When my grandmother saw that I had changed to a high and low bed, her face suddenly became bad, and she pouted and said to me, "Young people nowadays just like to waste money, and in the final analysis, they still dislike the elderly." ”
I didn't speak silently, just listened to my grandmother's accusations, and finally my mother estimated that she couldn't listen anymore, so she said, "Everyone sleeps well, so that when you sleep well and work, you won't fall asleep." ”
In fact, my grievances are not worth mentioning to my mother. After my dad brought my grandmother home, he always said, "My mom has worked hard all her life, and our family finally bought a house outside, so it is right to take her out and enjoy the blessings." ”
My mom buys groceries and cooks every day, and my dad is still the same as before, going to work and getting off work, and often making appointments with his co-workers to drink and play cards.
Taking care of my grandmother fell on my mother, and I worked for a long time, so I didn't help my mother much.
This year, my grandmother was sick several times, and every time my mother took her to the hospital, and it was my mother who took medicine to accompany the infusion to pay for the medical bills.
Mom was visibly haggard a lot during the year, and Dad took all this for granted, Mom was trembling with anger several times, her chest was uncomfortable, and tears fell silently.
I felt sorry for my mother, so I found my father to talk about it, and my father was very angry after hearing it, pointing at my nose and scolding, "I raised you so big, and now you come to accuse me, which old man is not served by his daughter-in-law, and your mother should do this." ”
It's true that Dad wants to be filial to the old man, but he can't leave everything to Mom.
I thought I couldn't communicate with my father, and since he wanted to be filial, let him be filial, and I also had to think about my mother. So I had the idea in my heart that I was going to take my mother out to live.
I took advantage of the holiday to start looking for a house, and after solving the house problem, I directly asked my mother to pack up and go out with me. I still remember the moment I heard me say that I was going to take her out to live, my mother's eyes lit up.
She must have been hoping that someone would save her, so the two of us quickly packed our bags and moved to the rented room. Dad was still playing cards that night, and by eight o'clock in the evening he had played ** for Mom.
As soon as Mom answered Dad's cursing voice, "My mom said that you haven't eaten dinner yet, what are you busy with?" ”
Mom obviously didn't know how to answer, I grabbed the phone and said, "Dad, my mother and I have moved out of that house, and you will be responsible for taking care of grandma in the future, and you, as grandma's son, should be filial to him." ”
My mom and I had a good night's sleep, but the next day my mom and I were beaten up by relatives. Every ** is accusing me and my mother, saying that the two of us are really wrong, in short, all kinds of accusations.
Dad also sent me a lot of voice messages, each of which was abusive, and the tone was very excited. Saying that raising me this big is better than raising a dog, at least wagging its tail twice.
Mom was in a bad mood, I went to turn off my mother's ** directly, and comforted her, "Mom, you don't care what these relatives say, they want you to go back because they think everything you do is right, but why should you do it, filial piety to grandma should be done by Dad, and it has nothing to do with you." ”