Wen Zhifei's 266th original article - more 1 per week
The real test of self-discipline as an adult is not to maintain a slim figure, but to control one's emotions. At the beginning of 2024, Jia Ling's inspirational story of losing 100 pounds inspired the friends in front of the screen to make their New Year's best wishes.
* The slogan is shouted every year, and it stays in the stage of desire every year. Whether it's the wrong approach, the one that doesn't last, or the accident, failure may be more important to you than that.
Good emotional management is something that most people overlook, but it is extremely important.
For adults, it is more important to control their emotions than to control their body.
Note: This is not to say that body control is not important, both are very important, but if they have to be compared, effective emotional management is even more important.
Emotional self-discipline: the ability to control and manage one's emotional responses. Be aware of your emotional state and express your emotions in an appropriate wayMaintain emotional balance and stability in different situations
In simple terms,It is to manage every word and action you say and think in advance, which may cause others to react or even hurt.
Those who have achieved great success are usually better able to control their emotions and do not let them dominate them, especially when it comes to important decisions, and are more objective and rational.
Whether the mood is stable or not represents whether a person is mature or not" has also become one of the options for many large factories and well-known enterprises to recruit employees. (Solid, intelligent, optimistic, introspective).
The ability to manage emotions (emotional self-discipline) has clearly become a soft skill.
People with strong emotional self-discipline tend to be able to cope with stress and challenges more effectively, maintain a more stable emotional state, and have better interpersonal relationships and mental health.
Most of the things that are not well controlled are affected by oneself, and it is a thing that harms oneself and does not harm others; However, poor emotional control not only affects oneself but also affects others, which is a detrimental thing to others.
When Jia Ling was 200 pounds before, she did not delay her acting career, but it was the image of her honest smile with two moving dimples that promoted her career. On the contrary, if Jia Ling has a bad temper and is irritable, not only will she not be able to promote her career, but even her life will be a chicken feather.
Although being too fat and too thin will also affect health, emotional instability and irritability, which affects the physiology by psychology and brings more serious and far-reaching diseases to the body.
The most important and insidious thing is that many people don't think it's important to control their emotions (emotional self-discipline), and even most people don't realize the need to control their emotions, so they don't improve.
But people often think that they want to control their body, and they often set a goal and then make some changes, eat less and exercise more, although it has not been successful, but occasional improvements are still underway.
On top of that, when emotions are out of control, you often don't notice the serious harm you inflict on others. There is no such thing as a "scale" to measure the degree of emotional loss of control at that time, and it is only after the major negative consequences of the incident that we can understand how serious the impact of emotional loss of control is.
Whether it's communicating with others (not being welcome), working together, or investing (irrationally losing a mess), you're always going to lose in this area.
Because no matter how reasonable it is, no matter how much knowledge you learn, it can't work. When I hear the truth and the knowledge, I will nod my head and say yes. But once the emotions are aroused, you give in, and the whole person is completely swayed by the emotions. Some people will say that my brain was blank at that time, because I was controlled by emotions.
Knowing what to do doesn't mean that when you actually do it, your mind will work entirely on your knowledge.
Compared to behavior, language is a unique way of communication for humans, and humans are naturally more sensitive and understanding of language. Language can convey more complex and abstract concepts and information.
Words can touch people's emotions and emotions, and sometimes even a single lyric can resonate with people in different regions and inspire them to follow their idols avidly.
It is better to hit a child than to scold a child with particularly serious words.
Good words are warm in three winters, and bad words are hurtful and cold in June. The people who speak are light, and the people who listen are bruised all over their bodies.
One of the most important signs of whether a person is an adult is: whether he can control his emotions?
There will be various situations in life, such as quarrels and emotional and even fights in the family, it is very common for them to be physically mature and mature, and they are still a giant baby at heart, unable to manage their emotions.
The so-called "knife mouth tofu heart", the knife mouth is bad, and the purpose is obviously to make others embarrassed and sad. It's the same for strangers, but it's also true for family and friends. It was clear that it could be reasonable, but it was harmful.
Vicious language is more chilling and disappointing than the cold winter, don't say harsh words to your family, bad words are the most hurtful.
When a person is in "emotional mode," they are more likely to make bad decisions, so when you feel "angry or angry" at someone, take a step back and ask yourself, "What do you really know?" Do you feel reasonable? "When you're in anger mode, not judging is the key to rational behavior.
This year's Spring Festival is the warmest and most harmonious Spring Festival.
The family didn't quarrel, and the teacher's words flashed in my head: "Adults should control their emotions well, and only those who can control their emotions are considered adults."
Controlling your emotions is the best and most important option. - This may be a lot of cognitive improvement, and it is another experience of knowing and doing it.
After controlling your emotions, you can be very considerate and tolerant of other people's behaviors and words, and you feel that everything is just ** or suggestions, even if you encounter any difficult things, explain slowly, there is no need to lose your temper.
First of all, how to speak well
First of all, emotional instability, nothing to talk about is ineffective, and the possibility of listening to it is very small.
Adjust the content and tone, and if your words are prone to misunderstanding, adjust the wording and tone to convey the message in a more positive and constructive way.
Secondly, talk about facts, logic, and reason. Calm down
Try to use me or us, not you. to reduce the defensive nature of the other party and promote understanding. Calmly, objectively and clearly express one's own ideas. Don't use emotional words.
Finally, listen actively
Listen to other people's feedback to make sure your meaning is accurately conveyed and understood. When you can't be reasonable, calm down with each other for a while, and wait until your mood is stable before talking about it.
When you are higher than others, you see others as people, and when you are lower than others, you see yourself as people.
Speaking goes through the brain, self-perception
As the saying goes, "Speaking goes through the brain", how does it go through the brain?
1. Before speaking, identify and understand your true emotions and motivations, whether you are speaking due to anger, disappointment, fear, or other emotions.
If you say it, your understanding of the facts may not be comprehensive, or maybe what you say is not necessary at all, do you have to say it to embarrass everyone? Especially your parents and family. It's not good for you, it's not good for your family.
2. Consider how your words affect the other person, how they feel and react after listening, and also consider contextual factors (is the occasion appropriate to criticize people?). the emotional state of others).
You have to think quickly in your head, what I say, is it really true?
Have you investigated?
Is it necessary to say this?
Does it make sense?
Is it considered comprehensive? Is it thoughtful? Profound.
Think about it this way, and you'll be more thoughtful.
Think about it this way, and you won't say things that are self-righteous and hurtful. If this is the case, tell the facts and be reasonable. I hate being tactful with others, and may be more thoughtful with others.
Through learning, you will continue to improve your knowledge
Managing emotions, cultivating reason, and going back to managing emotions with more reason is something that every adult, even children, should learn.
Two good books – effective in improving your communication skills and improving your mood:
If you want to improve your communication skills comprehensively and at a deeper level, you can watch "Influence". The author is Robert Cialdini, the godfather of influence, a social psychologist, and a world-renowned authority on persuasion and influence.
If you want to have a specific method to practice, you can also refer to Mr. Tobuhua's book "Methods of Communication".
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