Author |Kaede** Daughter Pie Original (ID: nverpai) If you have a stupid child, can you accept it calmly? I guess most parents can't do that. But the well-known female writer Li Xiaoyi said: "My daughter, it's good if she is happy and happy." The reason why she said this was not that she was bad, but that she found that she and her daughter were completely different people: in terms of learning, as a top student, she didn't need adults to worry about it from childhood to adulthood, while her daughter had poor grades and was always stupid when she studied. But in terms of handicraft, she is a person who can't even use the remote control well, while her daughter is ingenious and can always make a lot of beautiful handicrafts. Once, her daughter saw that she was busy with work and stressed, so she deliberately spent a night making a small doll to accompany her on a business trip instead of herself. 
So, she said from the bottom of her heart
One of the most important things I can do for my daughter is not to force her to compete desperately with other people's strengths in areas that she is not good at. "I'm happier if she can be herself. "Her transparency and intelligence are amazing. I can't help but think of what Dong Yuhui once said:
"You have to believe that every story is moving, every life is wonderful. People have always been lovely because of abundance, we are not industrial products on the assembly line, education is to make flowers into flowers, let trees become trees. ”Every child has a different nature and a different way of becoming a talent.
Allowing children to grow up along their own trajectory and become themselves is the best fulfillment for children. 
In the documentary "Post-Zero", there is a boy named Yu Xikun, who likes magic, scientific experiments, and dreams of becoming a scientist. It can always be seen in ** that Xikun is a person who concentrates and earnestly learns knowledge and researches science. is such an excellent child, but in the eyes of his mother, he is full of shortcomings: not good at communication, not socializing, and too introverted. So my mother tried her best to "transform" Xikun. Mom first invited friends to play at home, but Xikun preferred to stay alone in the house to study circuit boards; So, his mother sent Xikun to a language training class and an English summer camp successively, wanting him to have more contact with people and learn to communicate. But Xikun is not interested in all this, and he is not good at it. In the language class, he was depressed and had low self-esteem.
At the summer camp, he was at a loss and hid alone in the dormitory. Mother was unwilling to give up, so she coaxed and threatened to force Xikun to perform magic in public, completely ignoring Xikun's resistance and helplessness.
As a last resort, Xikun started to perform, but because of nervousness, he made frequent mistakes. The mother's face was full of disappointment and accused her son of not being confident. But through the lens, it is clear that Xikun is full of pride when he talks about his invention; When doing scientific experiments, the eyes are full of light. But his mother only stared at the side he was not good at, constantly denying and hitting him. Cartoonist Cai Zhizhong said:Every child is a genius, but 90% of them are taught badly by adults. Judging a fish's talent by its ability to climb trees will only dismiss it as dull. Measuring a child by a perfect standard, not seeing the child's strengths and interests, will only kill the child's more possibilities. is like the first-year girl Tu Sirui who wrote more than 300,000 words and 56 **. She loves literature and is good at writing. But in order to force her to write mathematics well, her father ruthlessly tore up all 56 **s. The girl was heartbroken: If you destroy them, you will destroy my soul. 
There is also the "wandering master" Shen Wei who likes to paint and read history books, he has a talent, but he was forced by his father to learn a major he didn't like and engage in a job he didn't like.
made him be able to show his ambitions, but he was forced to embark on the road of wandering and ruined a good life.
The child is not a piece of plasticine that is left to be vigorously rubbed and shaped by the parents. A child is a flower, a tree, with its own growth rhythm and its own unique charm. You can't expect the sunflowers to bloom in the moonlight; Evening primrose can't be allowed to bloom vigorously under the scorching sun. The only thing we can do is to let go of self-righteous expectations and accept and allow our children to follow their own path. 
The queen of storage" Marie Kondo has had mediocre grades since she was a child, and she has no outstanding specialties, but she is particularly interested in tidying up and tidying up clutter. At first, the mother wondered why her daughter had such a peculiar hobby. He also tried to stop his daughter. But seeing that her daughter was so keen on tidying up her belongings, and kept her home and school tidy and orderly, she allowed her to spend her mind and time on tidying up. Thanks to the experience and experience accumulated since childhood, she set up her own tidying company, and also used her own experience to write the world-famous "Heart-pounding Life Tidying Magic". She was even selected as one of the "100 Most Influential People in the World". There is a good saying: education is not a factory casting, and there is no universal standard production model. There is no universal standard for a child's growth and success. Whether a child can become a child and be happy is never based on what the parents themselves think is "the best", but whether the child has love in his heart and whether there is light in his eyes. Just like the "auto repair girl" Gu Huijing, because she liked cars since she was a child, she chose to enter a vocational school to study auto repair after graduating from junior high school. Although her parents didn't understand at first and hoped that she would be like an ordinary girl, she would engage in some professions where the work was comfortable and decent, but they still chose to support her. Since then, Gu Huijing has plunged into auto repair. I go out early and return late every day, obsessed with drilling the bottom of the car to check car breakdowns, disassembling generators, and four-wheel alignment. Finally, with a tenacity and love, he won the first prize of the Guangdong Automobile Electromechanical Maintenance Competition. 
Talking about her achievements, Gu Huijing said: "There are many ways to excel in life, not necessarily to prove your ability with academic performance, but also to be recognized for your hobbies." "Yes, every child has an innate gift and a passion for things. True education has never been in the name of love, cultivating children to be excellent in the secular definition. It is to see, accept and respect the child's differences, and provide him with the soil to bloom, so that the child can flourish. 
Long Ping, a visiting professor at Tsinghua University, has three children, the eldest is a lawyer, and the second is a scholar, all of whom are excellent. Only the third child has a mess of grades, especially mathematics, which is seriously lagging behind. Other children have at least 20 arithmetic problems in 5 minutes, while the third child uses both hands and feet, and can only solve 5 problems at most in 5 minutes. The grades are so poor, but the third child is still unhurried, not only is he often late for school, he is not good at studying, but he also always scribbles the walls of his home. Once, the third child also told him that when the national flag was raised, his brother's name was read on the school radio, because his brother was an outstanding student representative. Long Ping asked her: "Then when can you go to raise the national flag?" She didn't care: "It's enough for our family to have a representative." "Poor grades, not working hard, not enterprising. Long Ping himself couldn't help but ridicule that if my daughter fell into someone else's house, she would have to be forced to study every day, she wanted to be lazy, and she wanted to play. Although the third child is so a headache, Long Ping did not feel sorry for himself, nor did he rush to pull out the seedlings to help him. Because he firmly believes that if a child does not bloom for a long time, it is either because the flowering period is late, or because he is a pine and cypress talent, and there is no flowering period. And such children often need more patience and vision from their parents. Sure enough, through careful observation, he dug out the brilliance of the third child in her shortcomings. The first is eloquence. Every time he was late, the third child would take out the candy he had prepared early and said sweetly to the security guard: "Uncle, it's not easy for you to wait for me for so long, eat a piece of candy, it's my fault to be late, don't take it as an example!" Every time, he can "coax and trick" the security guard to open the door. The second is to draw well. Although the third child likes graffiti and paints everything he sees, he also paints more and more like it, and sometimes he doesn't even eat in order to paint, which is particularly obsessed. The third is to have a stable mentality. Although his grades are poor, the third child never feels bleak because others shine. Every day, I always go to school happily and come back happily, even humming songs in the shower. With such confidence and optimism, there must be no difficulties and setbacks in the future that can crush her. Therefore, Long Ping did not blindly chicken babies, but planned several development directions for his daughter according to his daughter's advantages: either to learn art or to give a speech. 
I agree with the saying: God has prepared a low branch for every stupid bird. There are no good-for-nothing children in the world, only parents who cannot see the good in their children. The growth of children needs a little more acceptance from parents, allowing him to be different from what you expect, and parents also need to see more to help them find their own branches, so that children can soar into the sky. 
Finally, share a little story. The boy asked his mother: "Now people say that having a son should be like Dong Yuhui, so do you want to have a son like Dong Yuhui?" Unexpectedly, my mother said, "I don't want you to be Dong Yuhui." "Why? Mom explained: Dong Yuhui is indeed very good, but we must know that the life script that everyone gets is different. Dong Yuhui's script is full of self-discipline and restraint, and it is full of ordinary people who finally counterattack and become the top through a series of efforts. But this is his script after all. I hope you can take your own life script, whether it is to be a well-known big person or a very ordinary little person, you can live your own life, love yourself, have ideals in your heart, and have a light in your eyes. Yes, every child, not a sequel to anyone, they have their own life script. They don't have to do everything as well as everyone else, they just need to shine their best, and they are a unique star on this earth. LitLookingTrue love is to look forward to less and accept more.
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This article**: Daughter Pie (ID: nverpai), I have a daughter in my family, and I have a daughter who is full of everything. A parenting platform that millions of parents pay attention to. Dry goods about raising daughters, here's all; Regarding the bittersweet and bitter of raising a daughter, I understand it all here; May they be pure and virtuous all their lives, know etiquette all their lives, and be decent all their lives.
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