"I've been in love for 5 years, and my boyfriend says I'll break up, what should I do? ”
Emotional ** counseling: "After 5 years of love, my boyfriend said to break up, what should I do?" ”
Teacher Li Na, my boyfriend and I have been in love for five or six years, and our relationship has always been very good. Recently, my boyfriend suddenly proposed to break up, saying that he felt tired with me. I think he's just talking nonsense, and I'm not the kind of girl who is particularly materialistic, and I don't do it very much. If there's anything wrong with me, it's that I've experienced betrayal from my ex-boyfriend before, which has caused me to feel insecure.
I'm really sensitive, and sometimes when my boyfriend says the wrong thing, I think about it. When my boyfriend is not around, I will worry about all kinds of things, often pass**, understand the situation, and make more than a dozen voice calls every day**. That day, because I didn't pick up ** in time, I had a fight with my boyfriend, but I didn't expect him to suddenly break up because he felt too tired.
He thinks I'm so dependent on him that he doesn't have the space of his own and every day he either explains to me or is watched by me. This emotional state made him feel very depressed. However, I only did it because I cared too much about him and was afraid of losing him. Isn't it wrong to love someone too much? I think I'm very sensible and I've never forced my boyfriend anything. Why did he feel this way? ”
Broken mirror reunion emotional mentor Li Na:
Sister, I want to tell you that in fact, the behavior you show is a common kind of "over-dependence" in the process of love. Specifically:
1. You are extremely sensitive to your partner's reactions, even a word or an action will make you feel hurt, you will begin to doubt whether the other person really loves you, and you will ask the other person.
2. I am very eager for my partner's company, I always want to stick with my other half, and I want to spend every moment with him. If the other person does not agree, my heart will feel very sad.
3. I very much hope that the other party can tolerate himself, and often test whether the other half really loves him by throwing a tantrum;
In this case, it refers to being overly dependent on the other half, seeing the partner as an extremely important being, and not being able to afford to lose the partner.
This kind of people have an extreme desire to get strength from love. However, they demand too much from love, and the hurtfulness of their behavior can cause them to push away the person who loves her deeply.
Because of the rules they have with their partners all the time they are aggressive.
For example, when you suspect that the other person does not have deep feelings for you, you may communicate with him in a questioning way. However, this questioning attitude can make your partner feel attacked and consciously distance themselves from you, showing a state of detachment and avoidance.
For example, their emotions can become uncontrollable and they will always lose their temper to test their partner's affection for them. However, every tantrum is an aggressive act that can hurt your partner. At first, the partner will try to reassure them, but over time they will not bother to pay attention to it, so the girl will think that her partner no longer loves them, and then become more angry, leading to a vicious circle of the relationship.
In addition, they want to have an overly intimate relationship, which actually violates their partner's personal space, they want to occupy the entire time of the other person to satisfy their desire for love, causing the partner to feel depressed in their relationship and thus more eager to escape the relationship.
In this way of interacting, it is usually very distressing for both people.
Those who are overly dependent on others will feel the pain of their partner's departure and lack of love, always think that their partner does not love them enough, be unstable, full of anxiety, and will take some actions to prove their partner's love for them, such as losing their temper to attract their partner's attention, etc.
When a person becomes dependent on others, he may lose his own space, feel the sensitivity of his partner, feel nervous all the time, feel depressed. He is also often hurt by his partner's emotions and life becomes cautious.
Such a relationship cannot be maintained for a long time, and when one party can't stand it, they will choose to separate.
To achieve happiness, it is necessary to overcome the symptoms of overdependence and keep both parties comfortable so that they can enjoy a good love experience together. Learning to manage relationships effectively is the only way to truly sustain a relationship and repair damaged emotions for a long time.
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