Emotions In the world of feelings, people who have a bumpy love road often have one thing in common, that is, they have a strong sense of innocence.
In order to prove that they are not materialistic, in order to prove their love, they constantly suppress their needs and feelings to satisfy each other.
People who excessively pursue innocence have a fear of abandonment in their hearts. Deep down, they don't think they deserve to be loved, so they need to constantly please their partner and sacrifice themselves.
He will habitually suppress his needs and feelings, believing that he can only get love if he gives unconditionally.
When a person excessively pursues innocence, he allows himself to be crushed by negative emotions. Because he wants to be a good person in the relationship too much, which means that he can't get angry and attack the other party, which is bound to suppress a lot of internal negative emotions and produce internal friction.
At the same time, he will also project the other person as a bad person in the relationship, because only when the other person is a bad person, can he bring out his absolute goodness. This projection can cause the other person to be attacked in the relationship, and once the other person accepts this projection, he or she will really become a bad person.
For example, the relationship between Fu Seoul and Lao Liu is a typical example. Fu Seoul wanted to pursue innocence too much in his relationship and wanted to be a good person, so he constantly emphasized his dedication and sacrifice. And Lao Liu had to stand on the opposite side of her and become a bad guy. This imbalance in the relationship caused Lao Liu to become more and more depressed and avoidant in the relationship.
However, we don't need to be the perfect version of ourselves in the eyes of others to gain the ability to love and be loved. No matter what kind of us are, we all deserve to be loved.
When we are no longer obsessed with the pursuit of innocence, allow ourselves to express negative emotions, and admit that we have needs, can we truly be ourselves and gain the ability to love and be loved.