In the Western Zhou Dynasty, King Mu of Zhou got eight horses.
In order to raise horses, he arranged for his subordinates to build three kinds of stables: the sky leisure stable, the inner stable, and the outer stable.
The horses lived in the stables and ate ten buckets of millet every day; These horses are in the inner stable, eight buckets of millet a day; Wait for the horses and official horses to be in the outside stables again, and eat six buckets and five buckets of millet; The rest are the people, no one cares, and they ask for more blessings.
After the death of King Mu of Zhou, King Yi of Zhou succeeded to the throne, and smoke rose everywhere in the world.
To quell the battle, the soldiers charged on horseback. Sadly, the horses are pampered, and they don't run at all, and they retreat one after another; The horses in the inner stables were mainly used to drive cars, and could not fight; The horses in the outer stables were very angry, why did they have to eat less, and they had to work hard.
As a last resort, King Zhou Yi summoned the scattered horses.
The loose horses were very wild, and not only did they not fight, but they also wasted the wheat and fled to the enemy.
As a result, the Zhou dynasty was in trouble and retreated.
This is a fable written by Liu Bowen in "Yu Ion".
The horse was treated differently, which caused the Zhou Dynasty to lose its combat effectiveness, and all kinds of comparisons were very realistic and helpless.
Home is a small country, and the country is everyone's home. There are similarities between the two.
As Montegni said, "Managing a family is no less troublesome than governing a country." ”For a family, living in poverty, as long as everyone works together, it can always change. But the partiality of the parents leads to the separation of hands and feet, and there is really nothing to be done.Mencius also said: "The foundation of the world is in the country, and the foundation of the country is at home." ”
My little aunt, raised two daughters, and had no sons.
It stands to reason that there is no patriarchal problem in the little aunt's family, and there are two little padded jackets to take care of her parents, which will be enviable. But the little aunt's old age was not easy.
The eldest daughter, XiaomeiWhen she graduated from junior high school, her grades were not satisfactory, so her family decisively terminated her dream of studying and joined the fish farming industry.
When Xiaomei was twenty-six years old, she found a door-to-door son-in-law. At the beginning, she said that the house and savings would be managed by her.
After getting married, Xiaomei and her husband did a wholesale fish fry business while raising fish, with an annual income of more than 100,000 yuan. I rarely ask about the property in the hands of my parents. The parents also asked Xiaomei for money every once in a while.
The youngest daughter, Koharu, my reading grades are okay, I went to high school, and I repeated it three times. After graduating from university, I worked as a ** in a township hospital, and my income was very average.
The aunt felt sorry for her younger daughter, so she secretly transferred most of the family's property to the past, and also "cheated" some money from the eldest daughter to help the younger daughter repay the mortgage.
In September last year, my aunt was hospitalized for two months with lung problems. Just started,The eldest daughter was taking care of her, and when she paid part of the medical bills in advance, she found that the family's savings had disappeared, so she left in a rage.
The youngest daughter took over the burden of taking care of her mother, but she was very unhappy, after all, she was a foreign daughter, and the eldest daughter was "her own daughter".
On the day my aunt was discharged from the hospital, the family sat around and had a meal. The eldest daughter asked about the propertyThe youngest daughter insisted that whatever money the family had in the future had little to do with her.
Obviously, the aunt pinned her hopes for the elderly on her eldest daughter, but gave her heart to her younger daughter. The consequences of eccentricity are clear at a glance.
I have read an intriguing passage: Many old people can't walk anymore, so they want to rely on whom, and who they force to be filial to themselves. But,When he was alive, he gave money to his favorite children, gave his enthusiasm for bringing grandchildren to his favorite small family, and gave the phrase "filial piety comes first" to the children who were mistreated.
Filial piety is everyone's character, but the rules of filial piety are - you respect me a foot, I respect you a foot, it is a two-way operation.
"Shangshu Taijia" said: "Heaven is evil, it is still violated." and thou shalt not live. ”The family is in trouble, if it is a natural disaster, no one should blame anyone, just face it positively. If it is man-made destruction of the family, it is a man-made disaster, and if you want to face it positively, you are "helpless" to do it yourself.
The word "eccentric".It is taken for granted by parents, but in the world of children it is indeed an important source of "fratricide".
Extending from "eccentricity" to the future, it is the distribution of interests, emotional acquisition, maintenance issues, family style inheritance, education level, etc.
Of course, God throws you a problem, and at the same time will give you a trick to solve the problem.
First, timely separation and timely stop loss.
It is terrible if the parents are partial, but the children let it develop and suppress the resentment in their hearts. Any kind of emotion, when it reaches the extreme, will explode.
When the children grow up, they immediately divide the family, find out the situation of the extended family, and distribute the wealth. The days to come will be much better. Although there was hatred before, at least the hatred will not expand.
Second, be yourself and set an example.
When a person does not expect anything from his parents, he naturally does not feel that his parents' partiality will hurt him.
Some people have made a fortune outside, not only do they not want the things of the big family, but also give their siblings and parents a fortune. I was treated unfairly, but it was just a process of self-transcendence.
I often hear people persuade "forget it, don't care". To do this, it is nothing more than to enlarge the pattern. The root of the big pattern is that you are strong and rich. Having money is a person's greatest confidence.
Third, correct parents and eradicate the root of evil.
In the Spring and Autumn Period, Zengzi accidentally dug up the melon seedlings, and his father beat him severely. Zengzi also apologized to his father. When Confucius learned about this, he was very angry and thought that Zeng Zi was too unfilial and actually connived at his father's faults.
Filial piety is not "foolishness", but to tell parents a lot of truths, so that parents can progress with the times. When parents make mistakes, they should strengthen communication and do everything they can to correct them.
For parents who break the law and discipline, they are also sent to prison for reform.
If you want a happy family, you must pull out the poor roots - the real poor roots are not a life that cannot be opened, but "short-sighted, arbitrary".
Parents love their children very much, but if the method is wrong, the end will be counterproductive.
Freezing three feet is not a one-day cold, and the disaster of eccentricity is not a two-day thing. It takes several generations to work together, spend many years adjusting, and spend a lifetime passing on good practices.
It's not a family, it's not a door.
When you enter a family, you want a family.