Big guy, I'm Xiaoxue's mother
After her friend (Xiaojie) had a second child, many people around her often asked her some questions about her second child, such as:
"Having a second child, is there a lot of pressure, do you regret it now? ”The first child is a son, and you still dare to fight for the second child, aren't you afraid to have another son? ”
I really envy you, my children are perfect, and I will be happier and happier in the future! ”
Nowadays, who wants a second child will always become the object of discussion around the people, and some "controversial" topics about the second child are always talked about over and over again, and friends also said that the second-child family must be very different from the one-child family, and the parents need to pay more, but they also gain more.
First, it takes enough energy and time to take care of the second child, but it also reaps double the emotional feedback
Friend (Xiaojie) when her eldest son was three years old, began to think about having a second child, and friends around her persuaded her not to give birth, thinking that the pressure to have a second child is too great, in case the second child is still a son, it will be a tiring life for the rest of the future, and there are too many places to spend money on the two children in the future, and it is really difficult for ordinary families to support.
But Xiaojie really likes childrenEnjoy accompanying your child as they grow up emotionally, so he resolutely had a second child and gave birth to a daughter smoothly, which can be regarded as "child fulfillment" in the family.
For the biggest change after having a second child, Xiaojie believes that "economic pressure" is only one aspectThe more intuitive feeling is still the "tiredness" of taking childrenAlmost all the time of the day is spent on the child, but it doesn't feel like enough.
When the second daughter was born, the eldest son was already in kindergarten, and the in-laws usually helped take care of the children and manage the daily life of the eldest son, while the couple spent their main time taking care of the younger daughter.
Two-child families also have the difficulties of second-child familiesIn addition to feeling tired and lacking energy, Xiaojie also has to worry about the growth of her eldest son, because the youngest daughter can't do without people around herSo Xiaojie has less and less company and less care for her eldest son.
The eldest son will also have grievances, Children's Day kindergarten held activities, other classmates are parents in the past, but Xiaojie because of the need to take care of the youngest daughter, failed to see the eldest son perform on stage, and when he returned home, the eldest son cried and complained about his grievances, Xiaojie was very distressed but also a little helpless and a little sad.
Taking care of one child and taking care of two children,In addition to doubling the amount of energy, it is also necessary to take care of the emotional needs of the two childrenEvery child wants to be valued by their parents and wants to get more attentionAnd whether the parents can level the bowl of water is also related to the relationship between the two children in the future.
Therefore, we say that it is not easy for parents of two children in the family to get, and they must think about these problems in advance, otherwise they will collapse when they can't bear it. But for parents who really like their children, are not afraid of hardship or tiredness, and enjoy the happiness of accompanying their children's growth, they will also gain a lot.
Second, economic pressure is also a big mountain in front of the second-child family, money is not everything, but the second-child money is very important
Although "money is not everything", money is also very important for two-child familiesBecause raising a child is too "expensive" now, there are too many places to spend money on milk powder, diapers, clothes, medical treatment, etc.
Let's just say that the child's ** powder, almost a week, a bucket of more than 200 yuan, a month is a small 1,000 yuan, and diapers are also 300 a month, a child casually spends thousands of yuan a month.
Wait until the child is older to go to kindergarten, if the public kindergarten can not enter, the annual tuition fee of private kindergarten is thousands larger, and the better one will cost more than 10,000, and then the child will go to primary school and junior high school, various interest classes, cram schools, and thousands of dollars at every turn, and the child will grow up to go to college, get married, buy a house and buy a carThese huge economic pressures are really stressful for ordinary families.
If the family conditions are okay, the parents have a stable job and a certain economic foundation, then the problem of having a second child is not big, if the economic situation in the family is average, and the parents' income is relatively average, then it is necessary to consider whether having a second child will reduce the living standard of the family, and make plans for the future life.
My cousin has encountered this problem, when the eldest son was just one and a half years old, my cousin accidentally got pregnant again, and the elders advised me not to ask for it, taking care of the eldest grandson has exhausted the old people on both sides, but the cousin herself hesitated, on the one hand, she also felt the pressure and hard work, but on the other hand, she couldn't bear to let the child disappear into the world, and she really liked the child, thinking that it would be better if the second child was a daughter.
So it dragged on, and the second child was naturally wanted, and the cousin also got her wish and gave birth to another daughter, of course, the cousin also felt the pressure of the two children, not only financially, but also on the daily care of the children, fortunately, the in-laws and their parents at home took special care of them, and took turns to help take care of the children, which helped the cousin get through the most difficult time.
Later, relatives also asked their cousin, "Do you regret having a second child?" ”The cousin said that when her youngest daughter was one year old, she regretted it a little, and it was too tiring to take care of the child at that time, but it was okay to get used to it later, and feel that his expectations are not high, just hope that the two children grow up healthy and healthy, and the family will be happy in the future.
If you really like children and can withstand the pressure, then the second child is also a good choice, in short, you must think well in advance and consider the problems that should be considered.
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