It's been 30 years since I started teaching her math class in 1993. I was 20 years old and she was 12 years old.
Suddenly with a flick of my fingers, I met again, she no longer has the boundary between teacher and student for me, but like relatives who have not moved for many years, there is a kind of unprovoked closeness like blood kinship, but it is strange and distant. I searched my memory, but I found only the faint, thin, inconspicuous little girl sitting in the first row, and nothing else. For someone like me who has no brain memory, I've always been very negative and can't help it.
Hongyan contacted me because she saw one of my manuscripts by chance from Learning Power, and then inquired, called**, and added my WeChat. I still remember the first ** greeting, I was so embarrassed that even the name she reported was an unfamiliar ......Through the screen, the red and bright surprise, warm, and unrestrained atmosphere came to my face, and between the lines were the gratitude and nostalgia that overflowed the screen, which made me feel guilty.
One afternoon after 2024, she drove across the city to my eyes. At first glance, standing in front of me, it was no longer a silent, thin and vague little girl, but taller than me, confident and hearty, sunny and vivid, I was wrapped in her vitality and enthusiasm, and couldn't help but hug her, but also hugged my youth, her childhood.
Hongyan is a good talker, her tablemates, best classmates, teachers who taught her, and relatives in the village ......Like drawing a map of life, she used her landmark stories to activate my frozen memories little by little. She took me back to 30 years ago, to the fragment of my life when I stepped out of the normal school and stepped on the podium, to the green years when I was 19 years old, and to the Qingyang Junior High School ...... that carried my 13 years of life memoryShe even said that I changed her destiny, she applied for a teacher's training and wanted to be a teacher like me, but she didn't get her wish after graduation. How frightened I was, how much I had done something great, but a little kindness and tolerance that was not worth mentioning, that she should be so grateful to me, and that my shallow cup of life could not hold such a prestigious ......
Looking at her strange and familiar vivid face, listening to her unique and profound perception of work, family, life, and education, I gradually integrated into her open-mindedness, depth and kindness, she said that I gave her self-confidence in life and interest in learning, and even saved her from low self-esteem, thin and poor grades, her later growth and progress, and gradually excellent are related to me, but I have never deliberately done anything? I can't think of ...... at allShame! In my more than 30 years of teaching career, from junior high school to primary school, from mathematics to Chinese and others, I have taught many students who have never counted, but have just kept moving forward, instinctively or passively, or enthusiastically. Every child I have taught is like every past spring, all of them are familiar but no longer back then, there are like Hongyan who have been warmed by me, and there will be I who have been injured unintentionally, what role I have played in their lives, I have never looked back, and I dare not look back, but every child I have taught is like a memory, permanently sealing my time and moment, just like some of my past who has been restored by Hongyan: I once wore a summer shirt with ruffle sleeves with black dots on a white background and lace, and I sang "" at a New Year's Day party There was a cloud made of rain in the wind", I quietly walked past a certain figure in front of their classroom, I was a homeroom teacher in another class, and I later taught her little sister ......This little bit of the past swept over me like a wind, and then passed away, but she picked it up one by one and stored it carefully.
In my 32 years of teaching career, every day, every class, every word and deed, there is a possibility that a child's life may leave some kind of mark, which I can't control, I feel shocked when I think about it - life has not repeated, every moment can not be rehearsed, I stumbled forward with my conscience instinct and love for teaching and educating people, angry, happy and moved, lost and frustrated, happy and warm, quiet and persistent, anxious and desperate ......Anything can happen, and even one percent of the damage is terrifying.
The group of children standing opposite me gradually grew up, became wives, mothers, fathers, teachers, workers, leaders, bosses, ......They have their own insights, experiences and thoughts, they gradually surpass my height and depth, and in all this uncertainty, there is always a trace of something that I can't see, which makes me both moved and awe-inspired, the past has passed, the future efforts to grasp, can not be perfect, just try to reduce the unbeautiful.
Written by Chen Fengrong.
Editor-in-charge: Contemporary Character Network Qilu Influence Teng Yuguo.
Chen Fengrong profile
Chen Fengrong: Chinese teacher of Huangshan Experimental Primary School in Zouping City. Member of Shandong Prose Association. He likes reading and writing, has insisted on teaching and research for 17 years, and is the author of the book "The Magician Who Listens to the Heart", won the second prize of Shandong Provincial Basic Education Achievement Award in 2018, and Chen Fengrong was rated as an outstanding class teacher in Binzhou City in 2022.