The chapter "The Structure of Men and Women" provides us with a basic framework for interpersonal relationships, which is a preface and summary of the entire academic system. The next chapter, "Husband and Wife: Giving Gifts with Train Wagons", is like a detailed practical manual on how to apply and deepen these theoretical knowledge in real life.
My journey in psychology didn't start with a desire for self-growth, but with a desperate need to improve my relationship with my eldest daughter. When I was a new mom, I had to leave her shortly after she was born and go to a foreign country due to work. In the first four years of her upbringing, I spent no more than ten months with her combined. This meant that when she began to understand the world and connect with people, my important role was missing. So when I tried to have an intimate relationship with her, she felt strange and even scared to me. Every time I asked for a call, she would go into hiding, unwilling to face me.
During that time, I felt deeply frustrated and powerless. I've tried all sorts of things but none seem to help. At the same time, my relationship with my husband was strained by family pressures and misunderstandings. We were both confused and dissatisfied with each other, but couldn't find a solution to the problem.
Just when I was most confused, I came across a book - "How to Speak to Children to Listen, How to Listen to Children". This book opened a new window for me to see the possibilities of improving the parent-child relationship. I began to learn how to communicate effectively with my child and how to understand her needs and feelings. Subsequently, I got to know Mr. Wu Zhihong, whose knowledge of psychology gave me a deeper understanding of interpersonal relationships.
The process of studying psychology was not all smooth sailing, but whenever I encountered difficulties and setbacks, I was reminded of my original intention - to improve my relationship with my eldest daughter. This motivation keeps me going, learning and exploring.
Now, I'm happy to say that my hard work has paid off. My relationship with my eldest daughter has improved dramatically, and our communication and understanding between us has been much smoother. At the same time, my relationship with my husband has been repaired and improved, and we are more understanding and supportive of each other.
Studying psychology has taught me that change doesn't have to be a perfect score to be effective. Even if we only make small changes, as long as those changes are positive and beneficial, they will snowball and accumulate and have a huge impact.
Finally, I would like to share these nine words with you – I'm sorry, thank you, and I love you. These nine words are simple, but they contain profound interpersonal wisdom. When we sincerely say "I'm sorry" to others, we express our apologies and willingness to change; When we say "thank you", we express recognition and gratitude for the efforts of others; And when we say "I love you", we convey deep affection and love for others. These nine words will not only repair damaged relationships, but also build closer and more harmonious relationships. Let's use these nine words more often in our lives, so that love and understanding are the cornerstones of our relationship with others.