The past 40 years of China's reform and opening up have been a magnificent historical stage. In this era, Chinese people have changed from having food and clothing to pursuing a higher quality of life, and the change in mentality can be described as earth-shaking. In the process of rapid economic development, Chinese born in various generations are undergoing unprecedented changes in their concepts and states of marriage and love. In the face of these changes, our family structure is constantly adjusting, and our hearts are often torn apart and struggling ......
It is true that the Chinese have become rich, but will we automatically become happy because we are rich? What is the relationship between wealth and happiness? In fact, the answer is not simply a positive correlation. The improvement of material conditions such as bungalows and cars has indeed significantly improved our quality of life, but at the same time, our inner happiness has not increased because of this. In many cases, it is precisely those marital and love relationship problems that arise in the upheaval of society that affect our sense of well-being.
We grew up in an environment full of traditional ideas, and many times, we learned and continued the concept of marriage and love from our grandparents. However, these old concepts and models have become incompatible in today's social development. The solidification of this old concept not only makes our married life full of pain, but also leads to the decline of our quality of life and the lack of happiness.
In countless cases of family counseling, I have found that modern families face three huge pain points.
First, there is a lack of communication, which leads to apathy in the relationship. After many families have experienced the sweetness of being newly married, the joy of having children, and the challenges of education, the relationship between husband and wife has gradually become dull or even indifferent. The two sides are like two ants living in the same cave, each busy with their own affairs, not caring about each other, not interfering with each other. However, human beings are animals with strong emotional needs, and when this need is not met in the family, people tend to look for emotional sustenance outside the family relationship, which is also an important reason for the high divorce rate in modern families. We need to understand that men are not just machines that make money to support their families, and women are not mere reproductive tools. In a busy life, we should pay more attention to the emotional needs of the people around us and manage our marriage relationship with heart.
Second, personality run-in problems, lack of effective communication skills. Some families lack sufficient understanding and communication before marriage, which leads to the escalation of personality conflicts and contradictions between the two parties after marriage. In China, due to the influence of the traditional concept of urging marriage, many young people rush into the palace of marriage without preparation. They have not yet adapted to the life of the two-player game mode, and lack the psychological skills required for personality running-in, which eventually leads to the intensification of conflicts and the inability to reconcile. In order to avoid this from happening, we should strengthen our understanding and communication with each other before marriage, learn some effective communication skills and ways to get along, and lay a solid foundation for life after marriage.
Third, the conflict of three views, the poor compatibility of life, the generation of people growing up in the wave of reform and opening up, they face a living environment, parental education, social circles, etc., which are very different from their predecessors. This has led to a big difference in their outlook on life, values, worldview, etc. For example, a young man from the countryside who is desperately earning money and a girl from a well-off city are likely to be very different in their life pursuits and inner aspirations. In a family, if there is no unity of thought and action, it will inevitably lead to chaos and contradictions in life. Therefore, how to deal with this conflict of three views and how to reach a consensus with spouse on the way of life to ensure the maximization of life happiness has become a major problem that needs to be studied and solved urgently.
**Ten Thousand Fans Incentive Plan In the face of these family pain points, we need to think and study more deeply. We need to re-examine our concept of marriage and love, learn new communication skills and ways to get along, and strive to reach more consensus on the three views. Only in this way can we find our own path to happiness in this era full of change.