Those moments when I was driven crazy by a child
Around me, there are also many mothers and fathers who are anxious, broken and blamed for their children's education problems, but they can't see good results from their children. In the end, parents are exhausted, children are indifferent, and there is a possibility of resistance and rebellion.
As the mother of an 11-year-old boy, so far, the child has not shown any signs of rebellion, and we are still in a state of "effective communication". He is not an honest child in the traditional sense, he has his own opinions and opinions on many things, and he has his own responsibility and independence.
I'd like to share my thoughts with you:
Children at different ages, the need for parents to discipline is different, we must be based on the actual age of the child to carry out phased discipline.
For pre-school children, guided education is the mainstay. For example, if a child is resistant to some interest classes, we need to talk to the child as much as possible to see if he is not interested in this skill, or he does not like the teacher, or wants to have more time to play with other children. At the beginning of education, it is recommended to cast a wide net in interest classes, so that children can try as many different specialty classes as possible, and then focus on screening and cultivating a few according to the characteristics of children's personalities and hobbies.
For another example, some small things for children should guide him to think and make decisions on his own, and parents should not be exhaustive, but do everything themselves. I will let the children choose by themselves every night what they are going to wear the next day, shoes, etc. He thinks about whether he is warm enough, whether the colors are beautiful, and he gets into the habit of preparing clothes and planning everything in advance.
When a child has made a mistake and is willing to bear the consequences of his mistakes, we can give him a warm hug and show that Mom and Dad will always support him when he realizes his mistakes and is willing to bear the consequences of his mistakes. The power of a hug at this moment is worth a thousand words of accusation and swearing.
For children in primary school, parents should give more respect. Let him feel that he has been treated as an equal in front of his classmates and outsiders. I will agree with my child in three chapters of the law, in front of outsiders, I give him dignity and respect, but he can't touch my bottom line, for example, when there are many people, he has no sense of rules and affects the behavior of others. If he breaks the rules, I break the line.
For example, if he is unwilling to complete his homework in time, I will remind him no more than three times, and clearly tell him that I have prompted him a third time and will not prompt again. Then he needs to bear the consequences of coming to school tomorrow for the consequences of his failure to complete his homework, and the punishment given by the teacher. If he doesn't think so, then I will plead with the teacher and ask the teacher to give him a severe punishment for this repeated behavior.
For children, we have the responsibility and obligation to give correct guidance and correction, but homework and homework are not the subject of parents, if we have been very attentive, relentless urging, then the child will become unconcerned, the formation of dislocation, but become the task of parents, the child becomes the executor.
When my child was in kindergarten, he developed the habit of preparing his own clothes and schoolbags for the next day, and completed the formation of daily habits in the form of **KPIs, such as housework, washing, studying, sports and other matters. At the beginning of primary school, the head teacher mentioned many times that his self-reliance ability far exceeded that of other children, and he could fold raincoats independently at school, coordinate conflicts between classmates, actively think of solutions when encountering problems, and brush lunch boxes by himself after school.
At that time, many friends asked me, can he clean the lunch box? It's full of water, and it's slow, so it's better to help brush it yourself. This point of view is very problematic, I can accompany him and help him check what the standard of cleaning looks like, even if it takes more time, I still think it is worth it. Because it's not just about cleaning lunch boxes, it's about teaching him a new skill, and I think it's worth investing more time.
The problem of education is not solved overnight, but is affected by the accumulation of time and the little bits and pieces of life. When the child has already manifested obvious rebellion or problems, remember that only the effect is presented, and the cause was formed years ago. If we don't intervene in time to form the cause in the first place, how can we force the effect to change it immediately?
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