Life is a practice, and the most difficult thing to understand is the impermanence of life and the coldness of the world, and the most difficult thing to give up is those things outside the body. We must know how to see through life and death, understand ourselves, abandon all flashiness, and live our true selves.
But in reality, joys, sorrows, and sorrows are impermanent, and life is unsatisfactory. The intensification of social contradictions and the widening gap between the rich and the poor have left many people without love. However, it is these difficulties that make us cherish the beauty of life even more.
We "laymen" can still be like this, why are literati unable to resist the torture of life and choose to commit suicide? This can't help but make us think deeply, life, not only has the immediate reluctance, but also has poetry and distance.
In literary circles, there is a shocking story. In the deep winter of 1996, Haizi, a poet who was deeply loved by people, left a famous poem "Facing the Sea, Spring Blossoms", and chose to commit suicide by lying on the rails, ending his young life.
His departure shocked the world and triggered many deep thoughts. Although we have no way of knowing what the literati went through before making the decision to commit suicide, it is certain that at that moment, they appeared very calm and serene.
Xu Chi, the reportage master who was once the only inscription "Poetry and Words", ended his legendary life by committing suicide, and such a way of death is unacceptable.
Why did he choose this extreme way to end his life at the age of eighty-two? According to the description at the scene, Xu Chi looked as peaceful as if he was asleep, except for a slight abrasion on his face.
The writer is good at portraying the hearts of his characters, but at that moment, he skillfully hid his "turbulent" heart before committing suicide, leaving only a "calm" face.
As time passed, the reason for Xu Chi's suicide became mysterious. Different speculations from the outside world cast a layer of "mystery" on his death that is difficult to explain.
This may be the most mysterious "report" left by the "Chinese reportage giants" to future generations.
Since ancient times, human beings have always been curious about the unknown. Regarding Xu Chi's suicide, there are different opinions, and there are many theories. Some people believe that it was the outside world that exerted pressure on his literary creation, preventing him from focusing on his creation.
However, in the eighties of the twentieth century, culture had been liberated, and the field of literary and artistic creation was flourishing. Therefore, the reason that Xu Chi committed suicide because of creative pressure is not valid.
Some people also noticed that Xu Chi had two completely different marriages, and the view of suicide for love was shared by most people. His road to love was not smooth, and his advanced view of marriage was not accepted in the society at that time.
At the age of seventeen, Xu Chi experienced the taste of love for the first time, and after a period of getting along, he mustered up the courage to confess to the girl he liked. However, due to the limitations of communication conditions, they can only communicate through letters, although the relationship heats up, but the lack of face-to-face communication also makes them finally break up, and the seeds of love have withered before they have time to germinate.
Time flies, Xu Chi returned to his hometown to teach, this year, he fell in love with the daughter of a local family, with a handsome face and affectionate confession, soon won her heart, and they began a sweet relationship.
In large families, proposing marriage requires a lot of etiquette, but Xu Chi's thinking is ahead of his time, he believes that marriage is his own business, and he does not need the consent of others. However, his attitude was not approved by the woman's father, and the other party rejected the family business on the grounds that the door was not the right one.
Xu Chi felt a little frustrated, but he didn't give up, he firmly believed that as long as the woman agreed, other people's obstructions would be useless. So he went to the girl and asked, "Do you decide your marriage by yourself or by your parents?" ”
The girl's answer surprised him, she said: "When it comes to marriage, parents are in charge." After Xu Chi heard this, he was stunned for a while. It didn't take long for the relationship to end.
After experiencing many emotional setbacks, Xu Chi finally understood that he no longer expressed his emotions loudly, but poured his inner passion into his literary creation. During this period, his first collection of poems, "Twenty-Year-Old Man", came into being, and the obsession and yearning of the twenty-year-old young man depicted in the poetry collection is also his taste and thinking about love.
Most of these poems were written in letters to girls, or on the night of lost love, and the advanced view of love in the poems contrasted sharply with the society's view of love and marriage at the time.
In the end, belated love will eventually come to real life, and Cupid's arrow of love once again hit Xu Chi's heart.
Xu Chi has a habit that he will be in his own every day"Utopia"Record the secrets of your heart, including the budding of love. There, he met Chen Song, a girl who made his heart flutter.
Every day, he deeply expresses his feelings for Chen Song through poetry"Seals"In the diary. Finally, one day, he could no longer suppress his emotions, he found Chen Song and bravely confessed to her.
Chen Song looked at the handsome and handsome boy in front of her, like a little rabbit in her heart, jumping up and down, she nodded lightly and said"Good. "Hearing the news, Xu Chi jumped up happily.
They fell in love, and the day of the date was Xu Chi's happiest time, walking hand in hand on the playground, sharing interesting things in daily life, this may be the day of a fairy couple.
The relationship between the two quickly warmed up, and he kissed her. This kiss occupied an eternal place in Xu Chi's heart. Years later, in his book, he wrote: "I have never felt so emotional, for I have experienced an ecstasy that I have never experienced before, which I could not experience again." ”
From Xu Chi's words, we can feel his deep love for Chen Song, who has completely occupied the position in his heart. The heat of the relationship quickly heats up, and they start talking about marriage.
However, the attitude of the woman's family made Xu Chi feel very nervous, after all, most emotional setbacks occur at this step in marriage.
Before visiting the woman's parents, Xu Chi cautiously asked Chen Song: "Regarding marriage, which is more important, your inner thoughts or your family's opinions?" Chen Song smiled lightly and replied, "Of course it's my own thoughts." ”
Xu Chi was relieved after hearing this, and the partner he had been looking for finally appeared in front of him. The parents of both sides met as agreed, and the talented and beautiful couple was recognized by the parents of both sides, and everyone hoped that they could get along with each other and grow old together.
Soon they got engaged. The joy of the engagement filled the couple's faces every day, and they were inseparable and became a fairy couple in the eyes of others.
After experiencing the sweet period of love, fate seems to test whether the couple's love can stand the test. A marital crisis ensued. Men are naturally in pursuit of novelty and are bored with old things.
Xu Chi is not only talented, but also handsome, which attracts many admirers. Some bold admirers would take the initiative, and Xu Chi lost himself in enjoying the feeling of being sought after.
Luckily, his good friend alerted him in time to prevent him from making a serious mistake. After the "test" of love, Xu Chi and Chen Song entered the palace of marriage on New Year's Day in 1937.
As the saying goes, "marriage is the grave of love", but this doesn't seem to have any effect on the love between them.
A couple has walked together for fifty years, and their love secrets have attracted a lot of attention. Some say that freshness and words are the secret ingredient to keeping their marriage alive.
There is never a shortage of romance in life, and Xu Chi is no exception, he adds some small surprises to a bland marriage from time to time to make life full of passion. In his literary works, he can often see the figure of his wife, and in the long autobiographical ** "Jiangnan" based on himself and Chen Song, he integrates his love for his wife into his works, so that the beautiful love story will be passed on forever.
Heaven seems to have an unspeakable jealousy of love, and it ruthlessly deprives lovers of the right to stay together. In November 1984, during his academic visit to the United States, Xu Chi unexpectedly received a notice from China: Chen Song had been diagnosed with cancer and was being hospitalized**.
This news was like a thunderbolt from the blue, so Xu Chi lost his direction in an instant, and he didn't even have time to pack his luggage, so he hurriedly flew back to China. Back in China, Xu Chi saw Chen Song on the hospital bed, her face was pale and her spirit was sluggish, obviously completely different from her previous radiant spirits.
Chen Song was afraid that Xu Chi would be worried, so he tidied up his messy hair and showed his best side. Xu Chiqiang held back his tears and said jokingly: "It seems that you can finally rest for a while, let me take care of you after the hard work of this life." ”
When night fell, Xu Chi secretly wiped his tears. In this bloody era, he never let that man shed a single tear, but at this moment, the tears rolled down his face like beads with broken threads.
He doesn't know how he will live without the woman who has been with him for half his life. In the end, the disease did not let Chen Song go, and the cancer cells in her body took her life.
The girl in Xu Chi's heart that made his heart beat faster was gone, and at the same time, he took away their undying love. In the work "Bang Chen Song", Xu Chi wrote: "The other side is not terrible, because you are waiting for me at the ferry, and you are my most affectionate companion......."”
He lived alone for eight years, filling his old age with writing. For him, who is about to reach the end of his life, life may be so uneventful. However, fate opened another door for him - a "sunset red" love.
At a symposium of the Chinese Writers' Association, he met Chen Binbin, who approached him for various reasons, igniting the flame of love in his heart. Xu Chi also opened his heart and accepted Chen Binbin's love, and the two began a sweet relationship.
Xu Chi's later life was painful because of a "twilight" love. His wife, Chen Binbin, is a university professor, and his youngest daughter is a famous movie star Bai Ling.
However, Chen Binbin has had several previous marriages, the most recent of which was when he divorced while dating Xu Chi. Her ex-husband was an associate editor of the literary newspaper, and their marriage lasted only one year.
Nevertheless, in the summer of 1992, they tied the knot in Wuhan. However, this twilight marriage was not as good as people expected, but brought nightmarish troubles to Xu Chi's later life.
Xu Chi once hoped to be able to write quietly in his later years, reduce some of his sophistication, and create more works for posterity.
Chen Binbin seems to be the opposite of ordinary people, she is a woman who is keen to show herself. Whenever there is a writer's party, she always brings Xu Chi to participate in it, because she knows that as long as Xu Chi is present, it is difficult to avoid interviews with reporters, which is her opportunity to show herself.
Once, Xu Chi was invited to participate in a poetry recitation activity, and the readers were all poets, and Chen Binbin accompanied Xu Chi as Xu Chi's wife, but she suddenly had the whimsical idea of giving a speech on stage.
The organizers and the attendees disagreed, so she asked Xu Chi to intercede. When he heard that she couldn't go on stage, Chen Binbin actually sprinkled in public, which put Xu Chi in a dilemma.
People can't help but ask, why did she divorce her ex-husband after only one year of marriage and turned to Xu Chi's arms? All these behaviors can be said to be clear at a glance, and the answer is that Xu Chi can bring her more material and spiritual enjoyment.
Xu Chi has always been sincere in this marriage, and he decided to spend the rest of his life caring for this woman, but Chen Binbin approached him with a purpose from the beginning. The two have completely different views on marriage, and both refuse to change for each other, resulting in the passion gradually fading, and finally they can only break up.
This marriage, which lasted only two years, ended in 1994, ending this "absurd" marriage. The pain of losing his beloved wife and the unsatisfactory marriage in his later years had an impact on Xu's decision to commit suicide, but it did not deter the writer, who had experienced all the ups and downs of his life, and encountered various challenges in his life.
In special times, he sought instructions from ***, asking "how should the poets of our time compose?" * Writing down "Poetry and Words" expresses that writing poetry is to show the poet's mind and sentiment, and to reflect the voice of the people.
These three words have become the guide for the poet's creation and pointed out the direction for the creation of Chinese poets. When society needed to encourage scientists to do their studies in a down-to-earth manner, Xu Chi once again stepped forward and created the popular reportage such as "Goethe's ** Conjecture", which was full of advanced ideas, bringing a ray of light to the dark atmosphere of China's academic circles.
During the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea, he rushed to the battlefield, and in the face of the crazy attack of the US army, he did not flinch and fought bloodily, just to record the cruelty of the war in words and let more people know the truth of the war.
In times of peace, he lost hope of living. The tragedy of Mr. Xu Chi makes people think deeply, although his jump, although he has been liberated physically, but what he leaves for future generations is an unanswerable question.
Mr. Xu Chi chose the most painful way to end his life, he didn't want others to see his pain, he chose the way he thought was most suitable, left this world to which he was no longer attached, went to reunite with his lover, and returned to the place where he once lived.