I always feel that others look down on you, but in fact you value yourself

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-03-05

In daily life, we often encounter such a situation: the slightest neglect or dissatisfaction of others, it is easy to feel underestimated. But many times, this feeling does not come from the deliberate contempt of others, but from one's own excessive concern for personal value and status. At this point, an interesting question arises: Are we taking ourselves too seriously?

In interpersonal interactions, everyone has their own values and concerns. When expectations don't match reality, or when other people's evaluations don't live up to our expectations, we may feel undervalued or not valued. However, this feeling is most likely a subjective amplification. It is important to recognize that the behaviour or attitudes of others are often more reflective of their own thought patterns and emotional states than of ourselves.

If a person cares too much about the opinions and evaluations of others, it is easy to fall into self-doubt and insecurity. This dependence on the perception of others is actually a sign of low self-confidence. Self-confidence comes from the affirmation of one's own ability and value, and is the embodiment of inner strength. Attaching too much importance to our own position in the hearts of others often indicates that we are not firm enough in our understanding of our own value, and we need to enhance our sense of self-worth through external recognition.

In fact, everyone has their own limitations. We can't be the best in every field, and we can't always be the center of attention. Accepting one's own ordinariness and limitations is not a negative attitude, but a mature self-perception. This kind of cognition can help us maintain a calm mind in the face of other people's evaluations, and do not have to affect our emotions and judgments because of temporary gains and losses.

In addition, the relationship between people is mutual and dynamic. Others may not have paid us enough attention today, but that doesn't mean it will be tomorrow. Being overly sensitive to other people's attitudes will not only make you tired, but you may also miss out on opportunities for self-improvement and growth. On the contrary, investing energy in self-improvement and ability improvement is more likely to win long-term respect and recognition.

So, how do you find the right balance of self-awareness? The key is to develop your self-esteem and self-confidence. Self-esteem refers to respecting oneself and recognizing one's own worth and dignity; And self-confidence is the trust and affirmation of one's own ability. Both are indispensable. We need to look at ourselves as fairly as we treat our friends, both to see our strengths and accept our shortcomings, and to constantly improve ourselves in practice.

At the same time, we should learn to look at things from a different perspective. When we feel underestimated, we may want to think about whether we expect too much from others, or if the other person's mood and state at the time are not suitable for giving us the feedback we expect. Understanding this, it will be easier to let go of those unnecessary psychological burdens and face the ups and downs of life with a broader mindset.

Finally, we need to learn to appreciate our uniqueness. Each person is unique, and our values, beliefs, and talents make up who we are. We don't have to care too much about what others think of us, because the person we should please the most is ourselves. When we are confident enough and no longer need constant affirmation from the outside world, we will naturally face life's challenges more calmly.

To sum up, feeling underestimated is sometimes more of a matter of self-perception. We should correctly understand our own value, establish appropriate self-confidence and self-esteem, and at the same time maintain a humble and open mind, constantly improve ourselves, and live and work with a healthier attitude. In this way, not only will you gain more peace of mind, but you will also earn the true respect of others.

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