1.Let's start with the emotional parabola.
When emotions come, they have to go through a process of generation, gradual increase, climax, gradual decrease, and disappearance, and the trend is like a parabola.
There is a saying: Happiness is always short-lived, but pain is so long-lasting.
This is because when a happy emotion comes, we are willing to experience it to the fullest, to experience it constantly, and when the emotional parabola is over, this emotion flows out of your body.
And when the painful emotion comes, because of the pain, we will avoid experiencing it, and we will suppress this emotion in the body, which makes the parabola impossible to complete, and the emotion cannot flow out of your body.
Because this emotion does not flow out of your body and is suppressed in your subconscious, it will pop up from time to time, and every time it pops up, you will press it back. So, it will always follow you, and the pain is long-lasting, that's how it comes.
In fact, there is no good or bad emotion, when the emotion comes, we just experience it, dance with it, and become one with it. Every emotion is a signal to you.
2.The child's nervousness, we can take a fun way to help him walk the parabola in four steps.
1) Interpret tension: Nervousness is a signal that reminds me that this is important to me.
2) Allow tension. Ask your child to say "it's okay to be nervous" 10 times, and the tension may disappear.
3) Be thankful for the tension. "Thank you for being nervous, you're an elf, and you're here to remind me that this matter is important to me. Say "Thank you for being nervous" 10 times.
4) Release tension. "Release your nervousness, I'll let you go, you're free, I'm free" said 10 times.
3.The above methods can be used in practice, and they can also be used for other emotions.
For example, my second baby will be irritable before going to bed, and she will often say that I can't sleep. As soon as she said this, I was also very annoyed, so I said that no one will let you fall asleep right away, you listen to the story! But it didn't work, she would still say that I couldn't sleep.
In the past two days, I changed my method, and as soon as she said that I couldn't sleep, I said that I couldn't sleep, and I repeated it many times, and I also asked her to say it. After saying that, she was relaxed and happy, and it was over in one round.
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