In a complex and ever-changing society, asking people to do things has become the norm in life and work. But many people have repeatedly hit a wall in the process, not only did things not get done, but also offended people. In fact, asking people to do things is not a simple "seeking" and "being asked", but involves a series of complex human feelings. The following are the three people you must understand when asking people to do things, and if you don't understand these, you will not be able to move an inch. People who read a lot can have a lot of temperament
1. Be thoughtful in the number of courtesies, and don't lose big because of the small
When asking someone to do something, many people tend to focus only on the thing itself, but ignore the importance of etiquette. They think that as long as things are clear, the other party will definitely help. However, this is not the case. In a country like China, where etiquette is important, whether the etiquette is thorough or not often directly affects the outcome of things.
Even if the other person doesn't say it or says it doesn't need it, you should understand the importance of etiquette. The gifts that should be given, the benefits that should be promised, and the rewards that should be given are all indispensable. This is not to say that you have to spend a lot of money to please the other person, but to show your sincerity and respect in these ways. Without these, you just don't understand the world, and things will naturally be difficult to do.
In addition, the thoughtfulness of the etiquette is also reflected in your care and consideration for the other person. For example, before asking someone to do something, understand the other party's preferences and taboos to avoid violating the other party's bottom line; Communicate progress and feedback results in a timely manner in the process of work, so that the other party can feel your attention and attention; Don't forget to thank and give back to each other after the work is done, and strengthen the relationship with each other. These seemingly insignificant details can often make or break things.
Second, be straightforward, to the point, and avoid ineffective communication
When asking someone to do something, many people like to go around the bend and talk nonsense, thinking that this can shorten the distance with the other party. However, this approach is often counterproductive. If you don't have a deep relationship with the other person, then don't have too many politeness and greetings when asking someone to do something. This will make the other person feel bored and impatient, and feel that you are not sincere and direct enough.
The best thing to do is to start by explaining what you are doing and what you want to do, and what the other person can get from it. This saves both parties time and gives the other party a clearer understanding of your intentions and needs. Of course, you should also pay attention to your tone and attitude during the expression process, and avoid being too blunt and aggressive.
In addition, you must learn to listen to and understand the opinions and ideas of the other person when asking for help. Don't blindly emphasize your own needs and interests while ignoring the feelings and positions of the other person. It is only through effective communication and negotiation that a mutually acceptable solution can be found.
3. Learn to show weakness and pretend to be pitiful, and stimulate the other party's sympathy and superiority
When asking someone to do something, many people often put on a lofty posture, thinking that this will make the other person more awe and respect themselves. However, this approach is often counterproductive. If you are looking for help from an acquaintance, then learn to show weakness and pretend to be pitiful. This is not to make you really weak and helpless, but to inspire compassion and superiority in the other person.
When the other person feels that you need their help and that they have the ability to help you, it is easier for them to reach out. Of course, showing weakness and pretending to be pitiful should also be done in moderation, and not be exaggerated or hypocritical. Otherwise, it will make the other person feel that you are not sincere and credible enough.
In addition to the above three people's sophistication, the following points need to be paid attention to when asking for help: first of all, we must choose the right object and time to ask for help; secondly, it is necessary to understand the background and strength of the other party, as well as the possible risks and hidden dangers; Finally, it is important to be well prepared and planned to ensure that things can run smoothly and achieve the desired results.
In short, asking people to do things is a complex and profound science. Only by mastering the sophistication and skills in it can we be comfortable in this society and meet the source. If you want to better grasp the skills and knowledge of asking people to do things, I recommend you to read the book "The Art of Doing Things". This book shares practical knowledge and skills about doing things, including asking people to do things, helping people to do things, talking to do things, giving gifts and so on. Reading, understanding, and using the knowledge in this book will help you do anything naturally.