Text丨Lu Yue (Sina Weibo @ Lu Yue Lu Yue).
Introduction. What we have to do is to hang a man's appetite for the rest of our lives in order to confirm the true love in his heart?
There is no marriage that cannot be dissolved, only a junior who does not work hard.
This statement punctures a truth, that is, what the man told you: We are all "old husbands and wives", so don't be so numb.
But in the blink of an eye, you will find on his mobile phone that he has love words comparable to "deep love and rain", but these words are not said to you.
What kind of goblin do you think that little junior is, but in fact she is just a "mature woman" who is not good-looking, how could she become your rival in love and turn a rough old man into Jia Baoyu?
There's nowhere to go.
Are you sure? I'll just ask you, "How does your relationship differ from when it's undecided?" ”
Is there an important difference: that is, it is rarely flirting anymore.
Why? Because the relationship is decided.
This is the common-sense mistake we tend to make most in emotions: we have two pockets inside of us, one called the undetermined emotion, and the other the emotion that has already been captured.
Flirting, hooking up, flirting, these are all things to play in the early stage of the relationship, when the overall situation has been decided, we have to "live" in a down-to-earth manner. This "get by" mentality is the beginning of all emotional rifts.
Do a search on the Internet, and you will find that men will only participate in one kind of emotional training: pickling class. And women rarely participate in the "flirting class", and the most willing investment for women is the "emotional recovery class".
Because men take pleasure in chasing "prey", while women take pleasure in storing "food". All the energy of a man is spent before marriage, and all of a woman's energy is spent on marital crisis.
But! No one knows how to develop a marital relationship.
In fact, there are no two pockets before and after marriage in this world, there is only one pocket! There can be no true love without hooking up!
This is the same as the fact that there is no flame without oxygen.
So, I'm here to emphasize 10,000 times: true love = hook up with him forever and forever!
When, you stop flirting, and when, love begins to lack oxygen.
Why, you ask?
If you want a man to love you forever, you must constantly tease him, keep him in a state of "congestion", stimulate all his potential to love you, once you stop flirting, he will feel empty, and he will look for another "master" to tease him.
You will say, why are men so cheap?
Yes, you have to make men cheaper, so that you can be more expensive, so that you won't take the tragic story route of "women are luxury goods before marriage, and women become stalls in ten-dollar stores after marriage"!
When we say that "women are not strong, God will not tolerate them", we are not saying that women want to fight with men and become female men, but that women must take the lead in their emotions, so that they can always be invincible, and your emotions will listen to you, otherwise, you will easily become an abandoned woman.
Therefore, in this world, we can do anything, but we must not be the piece of meat on the board that can be slaughtered.
So what does it mean to be a high-level flirt?
If you want to achieve the four values, your life must be open.
High emotional value.
Before marriage, it is often a boy who takes the initiative to hit **, and after marriage, it is often a girl who takes the initiative to hit **.
Why? Because the mindset has changed.
So why has it changed?
Because women like stability, when they start to contact boys, I don't know if this person is reliable, do you want to ** or really love me?
Because I didn't dare to invest, and I didn't invest so much, so I naturally did it hot and cold.
But men like women to be so sadistic.
This in turn stimulates a strong desire for conquest.
What motivates a person in the world in the world is not a steady benefit, but an unstable benefit, you don't know what will come next, you will always have curiosity. That's why gambling is addictive, because you don't know whether the next hand will be lost or won, you always want to control it, you always want to know.
And after many women enter marriage, they become unobstructed and become dressed like "chartered women".
If you are no longer the prey, he loses the motivation to pursue, and a man always needs to pursue, otherwise, he will feel that life is meaningless.
So your emotional value is:
1. Let him keep doing things for you.
2.You can keep doing things for him.
Do these two things well, and you give him emotional value.
For example, in the first episode of "The First Half of My Life", Luo Zijun successfully flirted with the man - he had to drive him home far away, and this tsundere man obediently complied. Cheap or not?
Why did he do it? Because he felt needed.
Ling Ling taught us the flirtatious skill that always speaks from the other party's point of view: Actually, you don't have to be in such a hurry to divorce, I love you, it's my business, you better return to the family, so that it won't hurt the two of them.
These words blocked all the retreats of men, which made Chen Junsheng very moved, how considerate she was to me and understand me!
The most important thing is that you give the man a space to be fascinated.
Vivian is the most feminine woman in "The First Half of My Life", her problem is that she is too much to pursue, but she has no value of her own, but her ** is worth learning from.
The most important thing about a woman is her four places, the first place is her eyes, there must be a story in a woman's eyes, there is always a kind of teasing, teasing look, this is the mentality of the gamer.
The second place is her hand, often ruffling her hair, or intentionally or unintentionally approaching the boy, there is some slight physical contact, we often see men and women when they are close to the other, will brush off the dirt that is not on the shoulders of the other, or the dust ...... on the faceThese physical touches can quickly ignite a man's desires.
The third place is the woman's shoulder, which can be equipped with different emotional expressions and trigger a lot of associations.
Like Vivian, you can turn your head slightly to the left and raise your shoulders to the left, but your arms are very straight, which will create a provocative body language, where your shoulders are seducing and your arms are defensive, and this imbalance will make men impulsive.
The fourth place is the woman's waist and hips, and its swing determines the sight of many men.
Look at Monica Bellucci's way of walking, her eyelids droop, making the style of the iceberg queen of abstinence, but her legs are pushing hard, causing the vibration of the buttocks and the swing of the waist.
Men are visual animals, what women need to do is to provide him with visual enjoyment as much as possible, spiritual comfort, the ultimate goal is to make him become to love you, and at the same time feel that he is very gentlemanly, this is the most interesting part of the game for men and women.
High self-worth.
In "The First Half of My Life", why did Vivien fail?
The reason for this is that "you are too cheap".
For men with low self-worth, what a great honor it is for you to be strong and flirtatious and offensive, which will make them feel that they are actually favored by the goddess.
But for a man who doesn't need a woman to accompany his own value, they need to respect a woman even more, the woman is responsible for hypnosis, and the man is responsible for pursuing.
Once it is implemented and stalked like a man, a relationship will change its flavor.
Look at how Luo Zijun made He Han automatically cheap: all her requests for help were in this tone: I was desperate, I really had no choice, I would ask for help, I am a self-reliant woman, as long as I get better, I will definitely repay your favor, I am a strong woman!
Why couldn't Tang Jing make He Han cheap? Because all her requests for help are subtext like this: As long as one day I become stronger, I will knock you down!
One is a white lotus floating in the wind and rain, and the other is an immature wolf cub, who do you say He Han would rather help?
Men like to help women because it makes them feel worthy.
But men don't like to help two kinds of women, one is a female man and the other is a stupid woman.
Men like to think in a higher position, so they don't want to help a person get strong and kill themselves, and they don't want to be with someone who will never be able to hold up the wall, they don't want to be in a weak position, if a woman is always weak, they will lose respect for this woman. In a man's world, when a person loses the respect of others, it means that he is spiritually extinct.
So Luo Zijun used to perform all kinds of brain wreckage, and he didn't even know what the cornea was, which could only make Chen Junsheng feel that how I lived with a giant baby was too boring.
And Luo Zijun's later requests for help were all with a little bit of her own little dignity, and she also initially proved her value in the workplace with her ability: both vulnerable and powerful, which will make men's desires flourish.
Woman's beating pressure.
In the early stage of the relationship, many people will "flirt and scold", but in marriage, we still beat and scold, but there is no love and pretty, and we lose enough humor and enough fun to correct the cause.
The greatest charm of a woman is rejection, because rejection can generate more tension and will also make you raise your value. Look at how Luo Zijun rejected He Han: A man like you, all girls will fall in love with you, but I can't, because Tang Jing is my savior.
If Tang Jing has some meaning for that returnee little white face, he can suppress him like this: "These conventional pickle girl routines you use are useless to me, sir, if you love me, please show your sincerity." ”
These crackdowns have two characteristics:
1.I'm still interested in you.
2.You've got to come up with something better to go after me, these cheap and cheap things of yours, put them away for me.
If there is only the second characteristic, then it is pure insult, if there is only the first characteristic, you are a nymphomaniac, and a man cannot respect such a woman.
You have to be able to coax people.
Some women say that I have been taking care of his fragile self-esteem all the time, and since I have earned more than him, I want to be fired by my boss because I know he cares too much about it.
Wrong, this is not coaxing, this is serving.
Coaxing includes two points:
1.Issue a waiver notice to the man.
2.Give men a chance to find a position.
Take a look at how Ling Ling issued a waiver notice to a man: see the article "My First Half of My Life" on the platform: In the face of this strongest junior in history, how do you break through?
Because the biggest pain of a man is to bear a lot of pressure of self-entanglement, what a woman wants to tell him is: many things, not your problem, but mine, take the initiative to take responsibility, which will make him especially grateful to you, because you helped him save his face.
And like the man who always cares about his wife's income more than himself, we need to change his brain.
I know that you do big things, many people who do big things have to go through some hardships, such as Ang Lee, who has always been raised by his wife, but in the end the whole world will remember his name. ”
Besides, I've seen a lot of men who make a lot of money, and what is the reason why they make a lot of money, maybe it's just that they have a good father" - to elevate themselves by suppressing those who are worth **.
Or: "There are always big years and small years in life, if you always care so much about temporary gains and losses, then I really misjudged you." —Help him solve it from a man's point of view.
These are all pulling men to the top, letting him give himself a step down, giving himself a little face, for men, women who can help him get back face make him feel the most springy.
Because face is the best ** for men.
Love is like two people dancing tango together, advancing and retreating, you come and go, what is activated is emotion, what is involved is emotion, there is love only when there is love, and love must be tuned out by your heart.