Here's what a reader wrote:
Marriageable age, and his wife meet through online dating software and form a marriage result. During my relationship with my wife, I was more satisfied with my wife: she grew up in my aesthetic system; What I don't like about my wife: My wife is more concerned about her money. What I really thought at the time was that when I got married, my wife and I should mix the money and spend it together.
After I got married, I found out that my money was the joint property of the husband and wife, and my wife's money was her private property. I was very unhappy about this, but I chose to forbear.
With the progress of married life, my wife's selfishness and stinginess gradually made me tired of this relationship, and I often had the idea of divorce in my mind, but I could not make up my mind to divorce, so I presented a passable attitude in married life.
Some time ago, I returned early from a business trip and bumped into a scene where my wife and male neighbor were dating at my house. My instinctive reaction at that time: I quickly took out my mobile phone and took pictures of the evidence of my wife and male neighbor's cheating. Subsequently, he filed for divorce from his wife.
Although my wife is unwilling to accept the reality of divorce, I am determined to divorce, and I have evidence of my wife's cheating, and my wife has to accept the reality of divorce when she doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. When the divorce occurs, the wife leaves the house.
Nominally, my wife left the house, but in fact, I only won custody of the children, because our marriage house was purchased by me in full before marriage; In all the years I lived with my wife, I didn't save any money at all; As for how much money my wife has, I don't bother to verify it.
I want to use my personal experience to remind all young people who are in love: finding a reliable marriage partner is called icing on the cake; Finding an unreliable marriage partner is called spending money to find guilt. Therefore, when choosing a marriage partner, character and living habits should be the main considerations, rather than being confused by the appearance of the other party.
Mu Zi Li emotion**:
Nowadays, most people live a more pragmatic life, and for this reason, it is difficult to get through the act of painting cakes with only a mouth that loves each other, but does not use actual actions to express love. The facilitation of love often stems from the joy at first sight, and the length of love mainly depends on the attitude of the two people to manage the relationship. It means that love is not a product of the safe at all, if during the management of this relationship, selfishness, stinginess, and accompanied by the betrayal of feelings, there is a high probability that the other party will be disappointed and withdrawn from this relationship. The funny thing is that some people call the other half as a fool in the state of being smart, but they don't know that the other party is just pretending to be stupid, once the other party doesn't love it, they will deduce shrewdness, at this time, it's time for you to be cool.
When managing a relationship, don't rely on the fact that you are a girl, or that you have an advantage in appearance, you can show an attitude in this relationship that you only know how to take, but are stingy with giving. After all, while the other half is giving, he is also eager to get a loving return. Let's understand the truth: the reason why some people are unhappy is usually not because their lives are stretched, but because they feel unfair, which leads to psychological imbalance. It's like: some people are fully capable of meeting the living expenses of two people by themselves, but because they are fed up with their lover's selfishness, they are unwilling to lick dogs and wrongs in this relationship, and thus become tired of this relationship, after all, husband and wife live together together, not one person to another person.
When people reach a certain age, they choose to go into the besieged city for several reasons: 1) they want to have an account of their parents and the world; 2) The desire for love is an instinctive need; 3) Enough of living a lonely life; 4) Many friends who often play together have dragged their families with them, resulting in friends who will focus on their homes after forming a family, and they can no longer play with them as they like; 5) To form the result of lineage and meet the minimum physiological needs. Although everyone also knows that after getting married, they will definitely be restrained, but the companionship and sincere exchange between husband and wife are also what they crave. During this period, the last thing you want to see is that your lover presents calculation and betrayal in front of you.
Since the mutual attraction between people belongs to the category of joy at first sight, in the process of managing this relationship, if you want to precipitate a strong family affection between each other, you need to refine it from the bits and pieces of life. It cannot be ruled out that some relationships will become more in-depth and in-depth, resulting in boredom, or perceiving each other's disagreement, or feeling that the other party does not have a sense of giving, or because the other party has betrayed the marriage to make themselves feel great humiliation. When the relationship between husband and wife cannot move in a healthy direction, in a state of mutual dislike for a long time, there is a high probability that the result of divorce will be exchanged. Although when divorcing, both parties will be a little reluctant because of the bond of children, but thinking of the damage accumulated between husband and wife for a long time, there is no longer any need to continue to make up for it in an unhappy married life.
When you first meet your wife, you are very happy with her appearance, because she grew up in your aesthetic system, so you quickly finalize the relationship. Although during the relationship, you find that your wife is only in and out of the way in terms of spending money, you will feel that such a move can be solved after marriage, so the result of your marriage is formed. Unfortunately, after getting married, you don't feel that husband and wife can be twisted together, so you become more and more dissatisfied with your wife's more selfish behavior. It's just that you've been hinting to yourself that even if your wife is more selfish, it won't be the reason for your divorce. It's a pity that your wife crushed the last straw for your insistence on marriage with her cheating behavior.
Regarding love, we need to understand the following truths: 1) The establishment of a relationship can only mean that there is a magnetic field of joy between the two parties at first sight, and it does not mean that after the relationship is established, there is no possibility of separation; 2) Liking someone may be a momentary thing, but the other person's boredom with the relationship requires a process of accumulating disappointment. It indicates that when people are managing a relationship, if they find that their lover has signs of pickiness, tiredness, disobedience, and impatience with you, you should show a sense of self-reflection in time: Is it that during the management of the relationship, in the face of the other half's dissatisfaction with you, you have acted your own way? If that's the case, you'll need to make a fine-tuned gesture if you're not willing to lose the relationship.
Editor's note: Sometimes, we will have such feelings: some people, when they are not married, your perception of this person is more optimistic; But after the other person gets married, you find that the smile on the other person's face is less. The reasons for this phenomenon are: partly due to the pressure and responsibility of life itself, and partly due to the unhappy married life of the person.
Married life is actually very simple: husband and wife should form a partnership, and not regard themselves as ancestors. What people fear in life is not to endure hardship, but to suffer unfair treatment. A message to all the people in the besieged city: don't use your selfishness to let the other half reap the chill for a long time, and don't trample on the bottom line of the other half with cheating behavior. Once the other person has saved up enough disappointments and pulled away from the relationship, you will find that you have lost someone who is especially important to you. In the future, there will be great regrets.
*from the web, **unrelated).