Loved ones are not chosen, from the moment you are born, you have decided, who are your parents and who are your siblings.
As the saying goes: "Kiss or not, family." ”
No matter how you mix, your relatives will support you, and your parents will love you selflessly and hope that you will get better and better.
The idea is beautiful, but the reality is cruel. There are always some people, from childhood to adulthood, who are "inappropriate" by their parents, and in the end, they transfer their money and achievements to other relatives.
My fourth uncle raised three children, a son and two daughters.
In the countryside, the son is the heirlounder, so it attracts attention; Full cubs are the most pampered because of their young ageXiaomei, the daughter of the fourth uncle's family, is not a full cub, but a "big cub"., from the moment of birth, is not welcomed.
Xiaomei didn't go to school until she was eight years old, not because the family had no money, but because the fourth uncle thought that no matter how much her daughter studied, it was useless, but to cultivate talents for other people's families.
When Xiaomei was in junior high school, her grades were among the best. But after graduating from junior high school, she did not go to high school, but went to Dongguan to work and became a worker on the assembly line.
At the end of the month, the fourth uncle called Xiaomei: "Hurry up and send money home, your brother's living expenses this month are still a lot worse; My sister also wants to study, so you should help too. ”
Sent his younger siblings to the university campus, Xiaomei has also reached the age of talking about marriage. She found a man from Jiangxi, although the family is not very rich, but he is honest and can endure hardships.
A few days before the wedding, the fourth uncle asked his prospective son-in-law for a "100,000 dowry". It means that if a daughter marries far away, it is like "selling", and she will not be reliable in the future.
On the day of the wedding, Xiaomei's maiden family only had two relatives - her grandparents who felt sorry for her. At that moment, Xiaomei realized that she had nothing to do with her parents' family.
Last winter, while working in an orchard, my fourth uncle accidentally fell and injured his leg bone and needed to be hospitalized for three months.
The son is working in the field and is very busy, and the youngest daughter's home is running a factory, and she can't stop for a moment. The fourth aunt called ** to Xiaomei and asked her to accompany her to the hospital.
On the day the fourth uncle was discharged from the hospital, Xiaomei was by his sideHe said, "Dad, Mom, I'm a 'foreigner', and my life is also very difficult. If you are really old and can't walk anymore, you still have to figure it out by yourself. I can understand your partiality, but I also have my own family, and you need to think about it. The fate of parents and children is not up to one person.
made the fourth uncle and the fourth aunt stay in place for two minutes in embarrassment, regretting that they were not at the beginning.
As a parent, it is difficult to balance two bowls of water.
No matter how good parents are, their love for their children cannot be very balanced. Children who receive a lot of money do not feel that their parents are favoring them, but take it for granted. Neglected children feel that they have suffered a loss, and their parents have hatred for them and have no kindness.
Children who truly repay grievances with virtue are commendable.
What should I do if I encounter a parent who is seriously eccentric? From Xiaomei's body, I saw three points.
First, talk to your parents for a long time, and strive to change them later.
Many people believe that if parents are at fault, they must be tolerated, not refuted. If you make your parents unhappy, you are not filial.
In fact, as an adult, we have our own understanding of society and family, and we should help our parents correct their mistakes. Through communication, parents can be alerted to what is not being done right.
When we were young, our parents were our teachers. When we grew up, our parents were "teachers and friends". In particular, some elderly parents urgently need to strengthen their studies, otherwise they will be eliminated from society.
Instead of blaming their parents, this is not going to work, that is not going to work, it is better to help them increase their knowledge and let go of some outdated traditional ideas.
Xiaomei said something to her parents, and it went into her heart and lungs. You can't do it again, but you can't get along like an enemy in the future.
Looking backwards and thinking on the bright side, there is nothing wrong with that.
Second, don't compare yourself with your siblings and be yourself.
Xiaomei is the worst of the three siblings, but she does not rely on others, but insists on self-reliance.
As the saying goes, "People are more angry than people." ”
In a big family, it is impossible for everyone to be a "dragon and phoenix", there are always people who are poorly mixed. Moreover, brothers and sisters who mix well are not obliged to help you. It's just out of flesh and blood, to help you.
Some people think that one of their siblings mixes particularly well because of the "preference" of their parents. Therefore, the heart is very uncomfortable.
In fact, as parents, their judgment is to push which child is more productive. Their preference is also human nature.
Ordinary people have the psychology of "disliking the poor and loving the rich, and tending to be inflammatory", and parents are no exception.
People who really mix well have learned to rely on themselves, even if they mix badly, don't complain about anyone and add blockages to their hearts.
Third, try to convince yourself to do your duty.
Everyone is unique. If you want to change others, it is difficult to go to the sky.
How to understand others is not to ask others to do anything, but to take the initiative to change oneself and make one's heart tolerant of others.
If you look for the reason from yourself, you will find that "parental partiality" is also very related to what you do.
It cannot be denied that children who have been mistreated by their parents have also grown up eating food from their parents' homes.
The kindness of a meal should also be reciprocated by springs. It's a pity that many people have eaten countless times, but they don't even have the idea of filial piety.
If you take it as your responsibility to give back to your parents, your heart will be able to accept the past.
There is a way, home and everything is prosperous.
The reader "Little Idle Fish" said something like this:Many old people can't walk anymore, and their family wealth is scattered, so they know who is the most filial. But what's the use? Money is given to the most unfilial children, helping the children who do not care about their parents to take care of their grandchildren, and only leaving a "good word" for the children who have been wronged.
Although the good words that parents say before they die have no benefit to be gained, they can resolve family conflicts and make people's hearts warm.
You can't treat your brothers and sisters as enemies, you can remember them clearly.
People who live with hatred are very ignorant, and they just torture themselves with invisible pain, and others don't know it.
Let go of grievances and have a heart as wide as the sea, and life will really get better.