I have found that in recent years, there seems to have been a serious polarization of women's roles in marriage. This differentiation not only reflects socio-cultural changes, but also highlights the multiple challenges of modern women in marriage.
On the one hand, we see that some women behave extremely aggressively and independently. They seek equality, freedom and independence, and are reluctant to play traditional subordinate roles in marriage. They believe in their abilities and worth, pursue their dreams and goals, and are not bound or restricted in any way.
The emergence of this kind of woman is undoubtedly a challenge and subversion of traditional concepts, but it also brings some new problems. They may neglect their partner's care and understanding by placing too much emphasis on themselves, leading to tension and conflict in their marital relationships.
On the other hand, there are women who go to the other extreme, and they behave too lowly and dependent in their marriages. They may lose their sense of self and independence due to a variety of reasons, such as low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, or over-dependence on their partner.
They are submissive in their marriage, afraid to express their needs and ideas, and even give up their dreams and pursuits. The presence of such women, although to a certain extent reflects the inequality and oppression in marriage, can also bring instability and imbalance to marriage.
As a result, a phenomenon has been created in which "fewer and fewer women are able to remain calm and stable in marriage, neither radical nor lowly".
Therefore, in this context, we need to re-examine the role of women in marriage, advocate the concept of equality, understanding and respect in marriage, so that women can truly realize their potential and value in marriage, and realize the harmonious coexistence of self and family.
So, how can a woman achieve a harmonious coexistence between herself and her family? Or how can we seek true equality in marriage and in gender relations?
In my opinion, there is only one answer: women must first strengthen themselves and identify their core in marriage and gender relations. And only when the kernel is stable, can the marriage be stable!
Therefore, as a woman in marriage, the first thing that must be clear is:
What can you bring to your man, marriage, and even family? What is the core you should have in a marriage?
Although the answers to these questions vary from person to person. But I think that for most women, this kernel should be based on personality independence, emotional stability, and spiritual wealth under the joint domination of physical, psychological, and family social roles.
Specifically, the following four aspects should be included:
1. Independent personality is the cornerstone of a woman's core.
In marriage, a woman should maintain her independence and individuality and not be overly dependent on a man. An independent woman will be more confident in expressing her opinions and needs, and a man will be more respectful of such a woman. On the contrary, if a woman is too dependent on a man, her heart will become fragile and uneasy, and it will be difficult for such a woman to have a say in marriage.
2. Stable emotions are an important part of a woman's core.
It is inevitable that there will be various challenges and difficulties in married life, and if a woman cannot maintain emotional stability, it is easy to fall into anxiety and insecurity. Such an emotional state can not only affect a woman's own mental health, but also have a negative impact on the marital relationship. Therefore, women should learn to control their emotions and face the challenges in life with a peaceful mind.
3. The rich spiritual world is another key element of a woman's core.
A woman with a rich heart will have a broader vision and deeper understanding, and she will be able to use wisdom and tolerance to resolve conflicts and problems in marriage. At the same time, she will have more common topics and interests to share with men, so as to enhance mutual understanding and trust.
4. The ability to grow self is the source of power for a woman's core.
In marriage, a woman should constantly improve her abilities and qualities to make herself a person who is constantly improving. This not only keeps women confident and attractive, but also inspires admiration and respect from men. On the contrary, if a woman stops growing herself, her core will gradually become empty and rigid, and married life will become dull and dull as a result.
However, the above 4 points are not absolute. They are mutually restrictive and mutually restrictive. Maybe a woman can't do it all, but at least she should try to keep it balanced. Make up for other deficiencies by playing to your strengths.
When a woman has the above four points, she will no longer care too much about the so-called equality between men and women, and she will no longer suffer from gains and losses in marriage. Because she has understood: the biggest hole card in the relationship between the sexes is the inner stability. As long as the kernel is stable, then there is no fear of losing.
And those people or things that desperately want to catch are often unable to grasp. A good relationship should be one of mutual attraction rather than chasing each other. The point in life is always to manage oneself and not to please others.
We have many women who will gradually lose themselves after falling in love, getting married, and having children, and take the relationship too seriously or even lose themselves. But in fact, the more you try to get to the truth, the more you try to firmly grasp the results, the more futile it is. Because human nature is like that: the more you care, the less you care.
To put it more realistically, marriage is actually an exchange of interests. People rarely turn a blind eye to cowardly people, instead, they will only shake hands with you because you are strong.
Therefore, a woman in marriage must cultivate her hobbies, exercise, enrich her thoughts, learn parenting knowledge, accompany her parents, and enjoy leisure time.
When you live in the moment, in the world you live for yourself, you will find that life becomes incredibly beautiful. You no longer always think about whether others love you, you are no longer swayed by other people's faces, and you don't even have time to think about the trivial things that have bothered you. And when you don't care, things will turn around.
Because, in the past, you always set your eyes on others. But now, when you're busy with self-improvement, you'll find that you simply don't have enough time.
Commuting in the morning and evening, taking a lunch break, browsing the news, reading current affairs, and reading every day are like dripping stones, and you will unconsciously accumulate a wealth of knowledge. These knowledge reserves can not only broaden your horizons and improve your cognition, but also make your self-concept more and more stable, and your heart more and more stable, not easy to be influenced by the outside world.
Moreover, even after sleeping with the child at night, you can still arrange a full schedule: reading books, watching dramas, and taking care of your skin. You may even find that you simply don't have time to think about the people and things that have bothered you. You will find that it is never the ruthlessness of others that hurts yourself, but your own obsession and inner deprivation. And marriage is a mirror that allows you to see your true self clearly.
In this mirror, you see your hysterical side, your vulnerable moments, and how long you still have to grow. But please believe that you are not bad, but you have not treated yourself well and have not cultivated with your heart. When you focus on self-growth, you will find that the whole world will make way for you.
Therefore, the last thing I want to say is: if a woman's core is stable, her marriage will be stable!
Please stop being overly anxious and complaining about the so-called equality between men and women. Because, true equality is not external giving or taking, but internal self-growth and fulfillment.
Only when you are truly strong and clear about your value and place in marriage and life can you truly enjoy the happiness and satisfaction that equality and respect bring.