I have two fathers in my life, one is my biological father and the other is my cousin. Although my uncle was not my biological father, he gave me all his love selflessly, which made me feel the warmth of family affection. Now that my cousin is old, I take him on a trip to thank him for the care he has given me. However, my mom thought I was wasting money by doing this, and only I understood that this emotion was priceless.
My cousin was fifteen years older than my father and was the son of my great-grandfather. Because of his mobility difficulties, he never married in his life, but he gave me all his love.
Our house is adjacent to my uncle's house, separated by a drainage ditch. Although Uncle Tang did not have much education, he had a kind heart. He is not as sloppy as other single men, but cleans the house cleanly. When preparing firewood in winter, he will also stack it neatly, as neatly as if he had pulled a thread.
My father was a college student in the 80s, and he was one of the lucky ones in that bag-distributing era. After graduating from college, he went back to work at the tax office in our town. Since my grandfather passed away early, my father's stable job became a source of comfort for my grandmother.
My grandmother said that in the past, the people in the village used to bully her, but since my father went to work, the attitude of the village towards her has changed greatly and has become more welcoming and friendly.
Two years after my father went to work, he met my mom with the help of a matchmaker. Although my mother has a low level of education and only has a junior high school education, she is beautiful and tall. Standing together, she was even taller than my father.
For my mom, she's really climbing. At that time, women wanted to marry men with stable jobs. Men who have a job will generally choose to marry a woman who also has a job.
At that time, the rural hukou was not valuable, and everyone rushed to apply for an urban hukou. After my mother got married, she also asked my father to apply for an urban hukou for her. In the end, my dad spent a lot of money to cater to my mom's wishes and apply for a town hukou for her. My mother always claimed to be a town hukou and proudly publicized it.
My mom and my dad didn't have me until the year after they got married, but unfortunately I was a girl, not the boy they were hoping for.
At that time, the family planning policy was very strict, coupled with my father's job and my mother's pursuit of urban hukou, both of them were not registered and were only allowed to have one child.
My mom once thought that if my dad didn't work, she would have a son. Because my mother's family has always instilled in her: "If you don't give birth to a boy, your in-laws will look down on you, and you will have no status in your in-laws." ”
My dad was in his right mind, and he said he would rather have only one daughter than not work.
I sensed that my mom didn't like me very much. For as long as she can remember, she always blamed me: "Why aren't you a boy!" ”
My mom was very harsh with me, and when she beat me, it was like she was going to take my life.
Every time I was beaten, I could only sit outside alone and cry, and my cousin would take me in his arms when he saw it, comfort me, and give me candy to make me happy.
I don't know why he always has candy that I like to eat in his house, and my cousin always pulls one out of his trouser pocket like a trick. Probably because of this, I was very fond of my cousin.
Once my grandparents came to our house, and they sat around and discussed something important. I walked over to join in the fun, and my mother yelled at me angrily: "How many times, go and play!" "I don't know what they're talking about.
Soon after, my father and mother started visiting my cousin's house frequently, and then my mother suddenly packed my things and sent me to my cousin's house.
She told me to live with my cousin for a while. I like my cousin very much, so I don't object to it.
From then on, no matter where my cousin went, he would take me with him. The people in the village were a little puzzled and asked the cousin, "She still has parents, why do you live with you?" ”
Uncle Cousin always replied with a smile: "I have a relationship with this child and want to live with her for a while." ”
It wasn't until later that someone saw my mother with a big belly and went to tell me in private. They thought it would make my dad lose his job. But they didn't expect that my hukou was no longer in my parents' name.
My mom proudly told the investigators: "Carrying this child is legal!" My daughter has passed on to my cousin. ”
At that time, I didn't know what it meant to succeed, so I went to ask my cousin. Uncle Cousin looked at me dotingly, stroked my head, and told me, "Adoption is to let you have someone who loves you a lot." ”
I go to school during the day and I habitually go back to my home after school. But my mother asked me to go to my uncle's house: "Go to my uncle's house, everyone in the village knows that you have passed on to him, and it will cause trouble if you come back." "I felt aggrieved, so I had to go to my cousin's house with my schoolbag.
Soon after, my mom gave birth to a son who became my younger brother.
On the day my mother came back from giving birth to her younger brother, many people in the village went to celebrate with firecrackers. My cousin took me with him.
Seeing my mother hugging my brother with joy on her face and talking to everyone, my sense of loss became deeper and deeper. I don't know why, I couldn't hold back my tears.
My cousin seemed to sense my emotions and pulled me out. From beginning to end, my mother's eyes did not stay on me.
Since then, I have rarely gone back to that home, even though I live close to my parents.
Some people in the village ridiculed me when they saw me: "Your parents didn't want you anymore in order to have a younger brother, and gave you to your cousin." "I knew it was true, but when these words came out of their mouths, I was filled with hatred for them.
My cousin was very nice to me and always gave me good food. Whenever he sees me eating happily, he's happier than me.
My grandmother would often give me something, and she said it was given to me by my parents, but I knew she meant that.
When I was in fourth grade, my parents took my younger brother to town, and I saw them even less.
My cousin sensed my loss and asked me carefully, "Do you miss your parents?" Why don't I take you to them when you're not in school? I replied stubbornly, "I don't want to!" ”
During the Chinese New Year, my parents took my younger brother back to the village, and seeing them so happy, I hid in the house and closed the gate. I don't want to see them so happy in front of me.
My cousin understood my inner pain, and he always silently put his arms around me, giving me an invisible strength.
When I was in junior high school, I lived on campus. In order to make my life better, my uncle often went to the creek to catch fish, and then dried them for me to eat.
The dried fish he made was the most delicious I've ever tasted. Every weekend when I went to school, my cousin would prepare a bottle of food for me to take with me. He instructed me, "School life is not good, you take this with you." But he himself was reluctant to eat an egg.
In the second year of junior high school, my younger brother went to school in the town. That time, my parents came to my uncle's house out of the blue to pick me up.
Uncle Cousin's tears flowed uncontrollably. I lived in his house for seven years, and he treated me like his own. But now my parents suddenly want to take me back.
My cousin was not easy to refuse, but I directly rejected my parents: "I'm not leaving, I'm used to being here." "Because I know that after so many years without them, I won't get used to going back. In their hearts, my brother will always be more important than me. I'd rather stay with my cousin.
I had good grades, and my cousin always put my award on the wall.
When I was in high school, I was admitted to a key high school in the county. My parents came to pick me up again.
As always, I refused, and I knew my insistence was right.
When I was in high school, my father started giving money to my cousin. My cousin told me, "This is your father's tuition for you, and he cares about you." "I think it's ridiculous.
I was admitted to a major university and majored in education. When school started, my parents said for the first time that they were going to drive me to school.
I refused, I didn't have a common language with them, and I was afraid it would be embarrassing. I also don't want them to come to my school.
During the report, my cousin handed me the bank card in the school's admission letter: "This is your tuition and living expenses, if it is not enough, remember to tell me." "At parting, I was reluctant to leave my cousin.
Dad also came to see me off and handed me a stack of money: "You're going to college, here's your living expenses." Buy whatever you want, don't be stingy. "I didn't take the money, I didn't look at the money my dad handed over, and I pulled my suitcase and got on the bus to the train station.
When I saw my uncle and my dad standing there, I couldn't help but want to cry. At that moment, I felt aggrieved in my heart, although I didn't know why.
When I came back from winter vacation, I went straight to my cousin's house. Because my grandmother is still there, my parents have returned to their hometown for the Spring Festival. They wanted me to go back with me for the New Year, but I begged my cousin to come with me. That year, although I spent the Spring Festival with my parents and grandmother, I was not happy and felt very depressed.
My mom cared more about me after I went to college and often called me **, but I always didn't know what to say. Every time she calls, she asks what I answer, and sometimes I fall into an awkward silence.
The roommates laughed and said that we mother and daughter were the least like mother and daughter. I just smiled and didn't respond.
After graduating from university, I returned to the county seat and became an elementary school teacher. Mom and Dad wanted to buy me a house in the county, but I refused. I said, "Keep the money for your brother, he will need more money when he gets married." I would work my own and save money to buy a house. ”
After I got a job, I would go back to the village every week to visit my uncle. I will buy him clothes, shoes, and good food. Uncle Cousin always said that he had money and didn't need me to buy it, but I couldn't help but want to do more for him. Every holiday or his birthday, I will surprise him and give him a big red envelope.
Every time, my cousin advised me, "When you grow up, I can't help you anymore." You can't always be angry with your parents. They had no choice but to do so. Let the past pass, after all, they are your parents. If you want me to be comforted, get along with my parents and don't always stay away from them. ”
I know Uncle is doing it for my good. He didn't want to see my relationship with my parents deteriorate because I was getting colder and colder towards them, and he said it was getting harder and harder for him to face them.
Even though I tried to tolerate them in my heart, I couldn't fully open my heart. There have been at least some minor improvements compared to their relationship, though.
During this year's New Year's holiday, I took three days out to accompany my cousin, who is over 70 years old, on a trip.
When my mom found out, she started to rebuke me again: "I've never seen you treat us so kindly!" Your cousin is so old, what's the point of traveling? Isn't it just a waste of money? ”
I retorted to her directly: "When you reach that age, I'll let my brother take you there." After all, you almost died because of what happened, is it too much to go out and play this time? My words left my mom speechless for a moment.
Maybe I still have a grudge against my parents! But whenever I'm feeling down, I always like to visit my cousin and have dinner with him and have a chat. For some reason, Uncle Cousin was always able to ** my inner trauma and make me feel at peace again.
Now that my cousin is in his old age, my only wish is to do everything in my power to let him enjoy his old age in peace. Because in his eyes, I am his only support.