It is said that "raising children to prevent old age", filial children are the greatest support for the elderly in their old age. But in real life, it is not difficult for us to find an interesting and puzzling phenomenon: some elderly people do not like the filial children around them so much, and even sometimes seem a little cold or critical. Why is that? Let's take a look at this seemingly contradictory but real problem.
First, psychological reasons
Independence and self-identity.
As they grow older, they become more dependent on life, but deep down they still want to be independent and self-identical. When children are too filial and think of the elderly in everything, the elderly may feel that their independence and self-worth are threatened. They want to solve problems through their own efforts, rather than relying entirely on their children.
Nostalgia and stubbornness for the past.
Older people tend to have deep feelings and nostalgia for their past lives, and they may be more accustomed to living according to traditional ways and concepts. In order to take care of the elderly, filial sons and daughters may introduce some new lifestyles and concepts, which to a certain extent breaks the living habits and psychological balance of the elderly, causing them to resist the behavior of their children.
Second, the reasons at the communication level
Intergenerational communication barriers.
Although filial sons and daughters strive to communicate with the elderly, due to generational differences, educational backgrounds and life experiences, there may be barriers in the way and content of communication between the two parties. This obstacle can lead to misunderstandings and estrangements among older people who are unable to understand their children's true intentions and concerns.
Lack of common topics.
As they get older, their interests and concerns may change, and the topics they share with their children gradually decrease. This makes it difficult for both parties to find common language and points of interest when communicating, resulting in tedious and ineffective communication.
3. Social reasons
Shifting roles in society.
The role that older people play in society changes with age. They may gradually change from being the head of the household to being cared for. This change in social roles may make the elderly feel uncomfortable and lost, which can lead to resistance to the filial children around them.
Societal pressures and expectations.
Society has high expectations and pressures for filial piety. Filial sons and daughters may show excessive care and care under such pressure, which in turn makes the elderly feel constrained and uncomfortable. At the same time, the elderly may also feel guilty and uneasy because they are worried that they will be a burden to their children.
Fourth, how to improve this phenomenon?
Respect the independence and self-worth of the elderly.
Filial sons and daughters should respect the independence and self-worth of the elderly, and should not interfere excessively in and replace the elderly's decision-making. Maintain their self-esteem and self-confidence by giving older people the opportunity to solve problems and take responsibility on their own.
Enhance effective communication.
Both sides should strengthen effective communication and try to understand the real intentions and needs of the other side. Children can understand the thoughts and feelings of the elderly by listening patiently and asking questions, and the elderly should learn to express their needs and expectations. At the same time, both parties can find common topics and points of interest to increase the interest and effectiveness of communication.
Pay attention to the psychological needs of the elderly.
In addition to material care, children should also pay attention to the psychological needs of the elderly. They can alleviate loneliness and anxiety in the elderly through companionship, listening, and comfort. At the same time, the elderly can also be encouraged to participate in some social activities or hobby classes to enrich their later life.
Establish a harmonious family atmosphere.
Family atmosphere has an important impact on the mood and attitude of the elderly. Filial sons and daughters should strive to create a harmonious and warm family atmosphere, so that the elderly can feel the warmth and love of home. At the same time, family members should also respect and understand each other to avoid quarrels and conflicts over trivial matters.
It is a complex and common phenomenon that the elderly do not like the filial children around them. It involves multiple levels of psychological, communicative, and social reasons. As children, we should be more open and tolerant to understand the elderly, and respect their independence and self-worth. At the same time, we should also strengthen effective communication, pay attention to the psychological needs of the elderly, and strive to create a harmonious family atmosphere. Only in this way can we truly achieve the deep meaning of the word "filial piety".
Of course, each family's situation is unique, and specific issues need to be analyzed on a case-by-case basis. But in any case, we should keep in mind that filial piety is not only a manifestation of behavior, but also a kind of love and respect in the depths of our hearts. Let's put this virtue into practice! **10,000 Fans Incentive Plan