Older blind dates, seeking perfection and blame is likely to be nothing, here is summed up an "impossible triangle" law.
The three vertices of the triangle are: good looks, good character, and good background.
1) Appearance is the most external performance, those with good appearance are given priority, and there are fewer and fewer people with good appearance in the pool. Those who have good looks and are slightly older may have a worse personality. Appearance is also a comprehensive index, including appearance, height, age, etc., in short, everything that can be given to external attraction may be attributed to the category of appearance.
2) Personality is the most difficult to understand in the short term, and it takes a certain amount of common experience and personal experience to understand a person more deeply. Similarly, personality also includes aspects such as temperament, way of doing things, attachment patterns, personality traits, etc. It's not easy to find someone who doesn't have a biased personality and matches yourself. Let's talk about a few data found on the Internet: the proportion of people with avoidant attachment is about 20%, the proportion of anxious attachment is about the same, and the proportion of people with normal secure attachment is about 2 3;Personality disorders account for about 10% of the population. In this way, the proportion of a person with a normal personality, normal attachment patterns, and no personality disorder is only a little more than half of the population, and the proportion is likely to be higher among older unmarried or divorced people, because more or less people who are screened may have some personality problems.
3) Background includes family background, educational background, professional background, income, etc., which mainly refers to the economic aspect, which is the main aspect of marriage, mutual dependence, and long-term communication. This aspect can not be blamed, especially the older the more so, there is one aspect that meets the requirements, it is already very good, if many aspects are good, it is very sought-after in the marriage market, it is difficult to remain.
In short, for the elderly, the impossible triangle means: finding a partner who meets the needs of good looks, good personality, and good background is a very small thing.
You have to let go of one or two conditions in order to find what you value the most. values character and background, and the appearance may be worse; Pay attention to appearance, personality and background may be worse.
There is also a threshold effect on age, which is about 30 or 35 years old for women and 35 or 40 years old for men.
Women over 30 years old and men over 35 years old, looking for a partner on a blind date, may need to give up a triangle vertex: if you want a good personality and background, give up your appearance; If you want a good appearance and background, you should give up your character; If you want to have good looks and personality, give up your background.
Women over 35 years old and men over 40 years old, looking for a partner on a blind date, may need to give up two triangular vertices: if you want to look good, you must give up your personality and background; If you want to have a good personality, give up your appearance and background; If you want a good background, give up your appearance and personality.
The hotspot engine plan sounds cruel, but that's the way it is, the blind date pool is a person who constantly puts high quality, sub-quality, and some excellent characteristics, and gradually fishes out of the pool, and as he gets older, most of the remaining objects in the pool have some shortcomings, and the advantages cannot cover the shortcomings.
The market is effective, and it is also applicable in the blind date market, and it is always a small probability event to find the good one, which requires vision, courage and luck.
I hope you don't try to win on small probability events.
Admitting that you are an ordinary person, and doing things that ordinary people have a high probability of success is the right way.