Jordan Peterson, author of "The Twelve Rules of Life", is a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto, a clinical psychologist, a senior five personality research expert, and a former professor in the Department of Psychology at Harvard University, mainly researching abnormal psychology, social psychology and personality psychology.God helps those who help themselves
Author |Jordan Peterson.
Translation |Shi Xiuxiong.
Continued from Part I: Peterson |Know yourself
The first men and women did not open their eyes and were not self-aware. They are perfect, but they are a little less than the fallen humans. Their good is given, not earned, which may be easier, but it is not as good as being earned through hard work.
If consciousness is meaningful to the universe as a whole, then its meaning lies in free choice.
No one can give definitive answers to these questions, but I hate to dismiss them from discussing them. So I have a proposition: perhaps our distress and self-doubt are not entirely caused by exile, the generation of self-consciousness, or the perception of death.
All the events that followed the fall of man in the ancient story are depicted as self-redemption for the purpose of getting rid of it. From the beginning of human history, the rise of the state and the vanity and rigidity that followed, to the final arrival of the savior, all show the attempt of human beings to correct themselves. What does this mean?
In fact, the answer is already obvious, the purpose of these redemptions and self-corrections is to consciously select and create good beings in the midst of chaos. As T.S. Eliot (T.S s.Eliot) says that to go backward is to move forward, provided that you retreat into a state of wakefulness and selectivity, rather than into sleep
The end of all our quests.
will arrive at the place where we departed.
And it was the first time in my life that I knew about this place.
The ultimate time awaits us to discover.
Passing through the unrecognized, remembered gate is where we once began;
At the source of the longest great river.
There is the sound of the deep waterfall crashing.
There is the laughter of children in the apple grove, which you don't know because of you.
Didn't look for it, only heard, faintly heard, in the silence between the two tides of the sea.
The fleeting now, here, now, forever
An extremely simple state.
The price demanded is no less than anything).
And everything will be safe and sound, and everything in the world will be safe and sound.
When the tongue of fire is finally intertwined into a solid flame.
When the fire and the rose become one.
t.s.T.S. Eliot, Little Giding, from Four Quartets).
Self-esteem is the most important thing
If we want to take good care of ourselves, we must first have self-esteem.
Now, we see ourselves as fallen creatures, but if we speak the truth and live the truth, we can regain our self-esteem and respect for others and respect for the world. Then it is possible for us to really care about ourselves and fill the world with more love and care, instead of letting it go to hell. In hell, people will only be angry, hateful, and constantly punish each other.
Two thousand years ago, there were many conflicts in the world, and it was common for adults and even children to be sacrificed. In Rome, gladiatorial fights were treated as competitive sports, and casualties were commonplace. Compared to the chaotic societies of ancient times, the probability of citizens killing or being killed in modern democracies is negligible. In ancient times, the main moral challenge facing human society was to control recklessness, greed, and cruelty that resulted from violence, impulsive selfishness. Today, aggressive people still exist, but at least they know that they must strive for self-control or face severe punishment from society.
At the same time, another problem that used to be less common is now coming to the fore. It's easy to believe that human beings are arrogant, egoistic, and self-interested, and this view has become "true" in a generally cynical environment. But this is not the case for many people, on the contrary, they are burdened with heavy emotions such as self-loathing, self-contempt, shame, embarrassment, etc., so they do not exaggerate their own importance, but will completely deny their own value and refuse to take care of themselves seriously and responsibly. They believe that others should not suffer, so they work hard and selflessly to help others, and even extend the same kindness to animals, but they rarely treat themselves like this. However, let's not forget that the purpose of self-sacrifice is to teach us to be brave in the face of limitations, betrayals, and **, not to ask us to turn ourselves into victims for the sake of others.
Sacrificing for the highest ideals is not the same as willingly and silently accepting the continued exploitation and oppression of others, otherwise it is tantamount to supporting ** and allowing oneself to become a slave. It's immoral to live with bullying blindly, even if the person who bullied you is yourself.
I learned two very important things about the principles of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and "love your neighbor as yourself". First, these principles have nothing to do with goodwill and friendship. Second, they are not one-way directives, they are also true vice versa. I have a moral obligation to defend myself as much as possible in the face of friends, family, or lovers, otherwise I will become a slave and the other person a tyrant. When you are tortured and enslaved, there is no difference between standing up and speaking for yourself and speaking for others. As Jung pointed out, you need to accept and love yourself with original sin, just as you do with and help those who are imperfect.
Your existence is intimately connected to others, and self-abuse can have disastrous effects on others. The most striking example is that when a person commits suicide, the people around him are deeply grieved and traumatized. But on the other hand, you can also use your words and actions to create order in the chaos. We're not exactly gods, but we're not all at all.
Love yourself appropriately
In the darkest moments of my life, I was always struck by how people were trying to care for their loved ones. I know a man who was disabled in a car accident and who worked side by side with another person with a neurodegenerative disease for many years, working with each other on the repair of water and electricity lines. In my opinion, such heroic behavior should become the norm, not the exception. Many people who are seriously ill try to live without complaint, and if you happen to be lucky enough to have a healthy body, then at least one of your relatives has struggled in a crisis. People are always able to support themselves, their families and society against all odds. It's an amazing miracle for me.
Failures and breakdowns can easily happen, but injured people always persevere, and this miraculous tenacity deserves heartfelt appreciation.
In my counselling work, I often encourage people to recognize themselves and others who are considerate and genuinely caring for them. It is true that people are tormented by the limitations of existence, but self-denial and altruism have brought us collective heating, running water, electricity, and unlimited electronic computing power, so that everyone can fill their stomachs and have the opportunity to think about social and natural issues. All the complex machines that keep us alive and content are constantly on the verge of failure because of the law of entropy, and thanks to the constant attention of careful people, everything can always be kept running well. In the face of pain, disappointment, loss, want, and ugliness, some people fall into the abyss of resentment and hatred, but most refuse to give up.
In the face of the finite life, the threat of ** and the plundering of nature, both human beings and individuals are carrying the burden, and this effort deserves sympathy. Self-compassion is the antidote to shame, guilt, and self-contempt, but that's only half the story.
If you look at traditions, countries, the little things of everyday life, and amazing achievements with gratitude, then your hatred of self and humanity can be appeased.
Humans deserve respect. You deserve respect. You are important to yourself and others, you play an important role in the development of the world, and therefore you have a moral obligation to take care of yourself as if you were a loved one. You need to respect your own existence. Everyone has flaws that are hard to change, and they will be dwarfed by those who are better than themselves, and if that means that we can shirk our responsibility to take care of ourselves, then the world will be a worse place and everyone will suffer from it. Obviously this is not the right direction.
Treating yourself as helping others means choosing what is truly good for you, even if it's not necessarily what you want or what makes you happy.
Giving candy to your child can make him happy, but that doesn't mean you just need to give him candy. "Happy" and "good" are by no means synonymous. You need to get your child to learn to brush their teeth, or let them wear a down jacket when it's cold. You need to develop your child's moral sense, responsibility, self-awareness, and reciprocal qualities so that he can grow up to take care of himself and others. Why, then, do you think it's acceptable that you can't do this?
You need to look to the future and think about what life will be like in the future if you take care of yourself. What kind of career should I choose to become a rewarding and socially beneficial person? When I have time and energy, how can I improve my health, expand my knowledge, and strengthen my body? You need to know that you are in ** before you can plan the route after that; You need to know who you are before you can balance your strengths and weaknesses; You need to know what you want to go to in order to control the chaos of your life, re-establish order, and fill the world with the divine power of hope.
You need to know your direction first, so that you can protect yourself in a timely manner, so as not to end up full of complaints and grudges; You need to be clear about your principles so that others can't take advantage of you easily; You need to be disciplined, keep the promises you make to yourself, and reward yourself in a timely manner, so that you can better trust and motivate yourself; You need to aim to become a better person even more. Good things don't happen automatically, we need to work hard to strengthen ourselves.
Don't underestimate the power of vision and direction, which can turn seemingly insurmountable obstacles into wide, unobstructed paths. Take yourself seriously, redefine yourself, cultivate your personality, choose your goals, and be clear about your existence. The great philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche of the 19th century famously said, "A man who knows what he lives for can endure any kind of life." ”
You can help correct this world that is deviating from course, and make it a little closer to the good and a little farther away from the **.
Only when you are familiar with it, especially the inner one, can you choose not to approach it or create it. You can even devote your whole life to it, which will give great meaning to your painful life and existence, and also give you salvation, replacing shame and embarrassment with instinctive pride and undisguised self-confidence, because you have learned to treat yourself as you would like to help others.
Take yourself seriously, redefine yourself, cultivate your personality, choose your goals, and be clear about your existence.
Every good role model is a major challenge for you, and every hero is a great judge.