The poor in the downtown no one asks, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains.
Chen Anzhi said: "Success is equal to knowledge plus contacts - knowledge accounts for 30, and connections account for 70." ”Connections are important, but who are the real connections? I can't tell for a while.
In my impression, relatives are the people who grew up with us and the ones who encourage us the most.
When I was a child, I would go to visit the New Year with my parents every Spring Festival. The seven aunts and eight aunts are all very enthusiastic about me, and they must stay for a meal, and the big fish and meat will be put on the table. Slightly more remote relatives' houses, but also one night.
When I leave, I always receive a big red envelope.
My father said that he would keep the red envelope money and use it as tuition.
Two days before the start of school, I counted and counted the red envelope money and found that it was more than the tuition fee.
To be honest, in those days, there were few rich people among the relatives of my parents, and most of them made a living from farming. The generosity of my relatives warms me.
Kinship, perhaps, does not stand the test of "borrowing money".
When I grew up, I suddenly found that there were very subtle changes in the interactions between relativesFeelings change with the change of economic conditions, and they are full of life.
A person's place in the hearts of relatives can be known by borrowing money once.
I went to secondary school in the 90s of the last century.
In those years, only those with top grades could go to secondary school. According to the local policy, as long as you graduate from a secondary school, you can be assigned a job and enter the system or a large factory.
However, the tuition fee of more than 2,600 yuan a semester made my mother very anxious. She was cheeky and went to her parents' house.
My little uncle, as soon as he opened his mouth, said: "If you can't even pay the tuition, don't study, go to work, how good, don't spend money, you can still make money." ”
My mother didn't borrow money from her mother's house, but she was dusty.
As a last resort, my mother sold the family's cattle and borrowed some loans to send me to a secondary school.
At the end of the nineties, I graduated from secondary school.
With the development of the times, secondary school students are no longer popular. The expected work turned into a bubble. I stayed at home for a while and then decided to go to Dongguan to work.
My mother told me in embarrassment, "I only have 20 yuan at home, so if you go to work, you can figure it out yourself." ”
I went to my second uncle's house. He has been contracting peach tree orchards in the village and has made a lot of money.
After I explained my intentions, the second uncle did not say anything. The second aunt said: "The family's money is all given to your cousin, who runs a factory in other places."
After leaving my second uncle's house, I went to three relatives' houses, but they were all turned away.
The most incomprehensible thing is that the third uncle, who usually encourages me to study hard, also said cool words: "Is it useful to study? If you didn't go to school, your family would have tens of thousands of dollars in savings, and it wouldn't be like this. ”
Ten years ago, I was planning to buy a house in the county.
My father asked me, "How much does it cost to buy a house?" Who to borrow money from? If you don't think about it, don't dream. ”
This time, I tried to find a way to take out a loan to buy a house, and I would rather be a house slave than owe favors.
Although there is a lot of pressure in life, and you will also receive a reminder, but dealing with people is very direct, and there should not be too many courtesy exchanges.
Kinship, after experiencing "borrowing money", will be divided into two types: reliable and unreliable.
It has been said, "Relatives are not optional, but friends can." ”Since relatives can't choose, with the blood relationship, then we have to learn to face it. It is best to divide relatives into several categories, and from now on, associate with reliable relatives and cut off relations with unreliable relatives.
According to the sincerity and action of relatives to help, you can make the relationship between relatives "know in your heart". But for the sake of face, you have to pretend to be confused.
Reliable relatives have such characteristics: one,The family is not necessarily very rich, and the blood relationship with you is not necessarily very close, but the heart is kind, and the person is more generous. Second, can talk about money, but the rules will be very clear, and there is also a relationship of "exchange of interests". It will not be messed up because of kinship, and it will become indistinguishable from wrong. Third, usually the interaction is not very frequent, and there is no conflict between your family and his family.
For example, my old Uncle Zhang, who lives in the next township, rarely goes to visit the New Year during the Chinese New Year. But usually he went out with my father to do carpentry. He also helps his father when he is in trouble; When settling wages, a little more or less is not calculated.
Unreliable relatives, these characteristics are obvious: tends to be inflammatory, usually talks like a river, says hypocritical things, begs the powerful, meets the poor, immediately changes his words, and denies the promises he made before; People are rich and poor, and the richer they are, the more they pick on the door, and they are afraid of being dragged down by poor relatives; is very greedy, eager to take the interests of the big family on himself; Caring about every penny, he will also be scolded in the group of relatives.
As the saying goes, "The human heart is made of flesh." ”
To see a person clearly, not only with your eyes, but also with your heart. Can't "take all your relatives as vicious people with a stick."
Most of the people who warm your heart are reliable, even if it is the grace of a drop of water, you have to repay it with a spring. You can't erase all kindness just because a relative has done something that makes you uncomfortable.
Conclusion.
Goethe said: "Although we can grow up with the protection of our parents and relatives, on our brothers and friends, on the help of friends, and on our love, we can be happy because we love others, but in any case, in the final analysis, human beings are still dependent on themselves." ”No matter how good your relatives are, if you have no backbone and become a person who can't get on the wall, your relatives will become bad and won't take care of you.
No matter how bad your relatives are, if you muster up the courage to move forward, once you have made achievements, your relatives will look at you with a smile and take the initiative to approach you.
Human nature often can't stand the test, don't think that the love of blood can be relied on. After all, everyone is thinking about their own "little ninety-nine" and serving their own small family. If you are not a "family member" of a relative, you should be an outsider.
People who really have great wisdom strive to do their best, and when they are rich and powerful, they are grateful to reliable relatives and help poor relatives.Human affection is as thin as paper, and you have survived all the hardships, and you had better know how to repay grievances with virtue.