In the daily education of parents, many people will face the problem of children being disobedient and not studying well. This may seem like a common concern, and many parents may feel overwhelmed. However, we need to recognize that the traditional "get the child to be obedient" approach to education is not always the most effective. Let's take a look at how to educate children who are disobedient and not good at learning.
1. Is guilt education effective?
Recently, a term called "guilt education" has started to gain popularity in the field of education. This type of parenting often tries to motivate children to learn by making them feel guilty, sacrificial, and pressured by their parents. For example, some parents will punish themselves when their children make mistakes in their homework, or use emotional blackmail to force their children to obey. But does it really work?
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Some psychological counselors have pointed out that guilt-based education often brings guilt and stress to children, which in turn affects children's learning status and mental health. For example, a mother who always tells her child "I will not marry again because of you" may make the child feel that he is the reason for the separation of his parents, which may lead to self-blame and distress. Similarly, parents may sacrifice their own happiness to educate their children in order to be "sensible", but this guilt often leads to negative emotions rather than positive motivation to learn.
Second, the words and deeds of parents
In addition to guilt-based education, parents' words and deeds are also important factors that influence children's behavior. There is a good saying: "There is no worse influence a parent has on a child than to make them think that they are not living a good life." This sentence reminds us that the behavior and way of behavior of parents will directly affect the attitude and behavior of children.
If a parent constantly complains about their work, family, etc., or shows self-sacrifice at every point in their life, the child is likely to feel negative emotions from it. For example, a parent who always emphasizes "how hard I work for this family" may make children feel that they are a burden to their parents, which can affect their self-confidence and learning status.
Here, children are not obedient and do not learn how to educate, we might as well look at the problem from a different angle. If parents are able to manage their own lives and face life's challenges positively, then their children are likely to get a positive impact from it. An optimistic, strong parent is more likely to raise a positive child because the child will learn from the parents how to cope with difficulties and stay optimistic.
3. Respect children's individual differences
In addition to the above points, respecting children's individual differences is also a point that cannot be ignored in education. Every child is a unique individual, with different interests, abilities, and learning styles. Therefore, when parents educate their children, they should take into account the characteristics of their children and do not ask their children to do things according to their own expectations.
For example, some children may not be interested in learning, but they may have great talents in art, sports, etc. If parents blindly emphasize academic performance, it may backfire and make children rebellious. Therefore, parents can try to start with the things that interest their children to stimulate their interest in learning. For example, encourage children to participate in art classes, sports clubs, etc., so that they can develop in their areas of expertise.
If children are disobedient and do not learn well, how to educate is not an overnight process, and it requires patience, understanding and love from parents. When children are disobedient and do not study well, parents can calm down first and think about the root cause of the problem. Through communication with children, respect for children's personality and interests, and positive words and deeds, I believe that parents will be able to find suitable ways to help their children grow up healthy and happy.