Chicken Feathers Most of the troubles of life are self inflicted

Mondo Social Updated on 2024-03-07

In the 90s of the last century, Liu Zhenyun's new realistic ** "Chicken Feathers in One Place" was born, which caused a sensation for a while, won many literary awards, and was adapted into a movie and entered thousands of households.

The reason why this work is deeply rooted in the hearts of the people is precisely because Liu Zhenyun uses delicate brushstrokes to truly depict the figure of everyone struggling in firewood, rice, oil and salt.

Survival is nothing more than firewood, rice, oil and salt day after day, which seems simple but full of challenges.

If a person can live to be 100 years old, it will only be an ordinary time of 36,500 days.

And among them, everyone may become the Kobayashi couple, facing the chicken feathers of life and feeling endless troubles.

Under the tempering of society and the ups and downs of emotions, the Kobayashi couple gradually learned the so-called "maturity" and lived a seemingly uneventful daily life.

It's like boiling a frog in warm water, slowly losing its enthusiasm and struggle for life.

However, even though their lives seem to be getting more and more stable, it always feels like something is wrong.

*What's wrong? Kobayashi's life is full of endless troubles, and every time a problem is solved, new problems follow.

He realized his own shortcomings and began to learn to "mature" like others, to cater to the expectations of the world, and try to solve these troubles.

However, is this really the way to live?

This is not only a question for the Kobayashi couple, but also a topic that everyone needs to ponder.

Mr. and Mrs. Kobayashi, two young people who used to scold Fang Xuan at a university in the city of Beijing, stepped into the door of the government unit after graduation.

After several years of struggle, they finally owned their own house in Beijing and ushered in the crystallization of love.

In the eyes of outsiders, they lived an enviable good life.

However, the real face of life is far more complicated than that.

At six o'clock in the morning, when the city was still asleep, Xiao Lin had already gotten up and hurried to the public grocery store to line up to buy tofu.

Sometimes, he had to wait in line for more than an hour to get those precious pieces of tofu;

Sometimes, even if you wait in line for a long time, you may not be able to buy it.

After buying tofu, he had to hurry home to put it down, and then hurried to the unit.

On this day, Kobayashi was lucky enough to buy tofu.

However, in a hurry to catch the bus to work, he forgot to put the tofu in the refrigerator.

When he came home in the evening, he found that the piece of tofu had gone bad and gave off a foul smell.

When my wife came home, when she saw this scene, she first blamed the nanny for not fulfilling her responsibilities.

But the nanny defended that Xiao Lin did not explain clearly, so she was not willing to take responsibility.

The wife had no choice but to turn her anger to Xiaolin and scold.

This quarrel was like an uncontrollable storm, turning over the old accounts in the hearts of the two one by one.

They begin to point fingers at each other, and the once sweet and understanding becomes shattered in the quarrel.

At this moment, they seem to have forgotten each other's former beauty, and only remember the troubles and dissatisfaction in front of them.

Adults should learn to manage their emotions, and when things don't go their way, the wisest choice is to learn to accept them.

Acceptance is not only about accepting what happens, but also about accepting the emotions that arise from dissatisfaction in your heart.

Projecting emotions onto others will only lead to more relationship conflicts, not only putting yourself in unpleasant situations, but also distressing others.

But acceptance is not the same as tolerance. Tolerance is often the suppression of emotions in exchange for a temporary peace of mind.

However, this will only cause the pain to accumulate in the heart, and eventually make yourself suffer even more.

It wasn't until the old man who read the water meter arrived that the quarrel between Kobayashi and his wife temporarily subsided.

After checking the water meter, the old man mentioned that someone reported that someone stole water at night and deliberately did not tighten the faucet.

And the person who stole the water was Kobayashi's wife.

In the face of the old man's accusation, Xiaolin and his wife hurriedly covered up, insisting that their family would never steal water.

After hearing this, the old man said that the matter was over, and he was not to blame in the past, but he should pay attention not to steal water in the future.

It seems that because of the appearance of the old man, the quarrel between Kobayashi and his wife came to an end.

However, after the old man left, Xiao Lin was still dissatisfied with his wife's stealing of water, thinking that although it was just two buckets of water, it was not worth much, but it was known that he would not be able to get by.

When his wife and children fell asleep, Xiao Lin remembered the unprocessed piece of rancid tofu and hurriedly got up to deal with it.

Early the next morning, Kobayashi's wife once again put him in a difficult situation.

This time, the focus is no longer on yesterday's rancid tofu, but on her eagerness to change jobs.

The wife's appeal did not stem from personnel disputes within the unit, but the time she spent on squeezing the bus every day was too long, more than four hours, which made her feel unbearable.

She longs to be closer to home and less of the hard work of commuting.

However, changing jobs is not an easy task, and the complexity and difficulty of it are a little daunting for Kobayashi.

He tried to persuade his wife to be patient for a while, after all, there are many people in Beijing who commute farther.

But his wife's emotions were extremely excited, and she accused Xiao Lin of having no ability, and would only let her make do with it.

She firmly stated that she had to change units, otherwise she would not go to work and let Xiaolin take on the responsibility of supporting her family alone.

The next day, his wife really didn't go to work, which made Kobayashi feel anxious.

In order to solve this problem, Kobayashi began to actively look for a solution.

He thought of the relationship between the deputy director of the unit and the head of the personnel of a nearby unit.

So, he plucked up the courage to go to the deputy director, explained his wife's plight in detail, and asked the old leader to lend a hand.

The deputy director was kind, he personally wrote a letter and typed a ** to pave the way for Kobayashi to that unit.

With faith and expectations, Kobayashi found the head of the personnel management.

The head promised to help check if there were any vacancies in the subordinate units.

Things seem to have taken a turn for the better, however, Xiaolin's wife can't rest assured.

While waiting for the results, she thought that the director of the unit was the husband of an acquaintance of hers.

So, the two decided to go to the director for help.

However, this move unexpectedly messes things up.

When the head of personnel learned that they had privately sought out the chief again, his attitude immediately turned cold.

The promise to help has also vanished.

This move undoubtedly violated some obscure rules in the workplace, complicating what might otherwise be going well.

Time passed, and there was no progress in the redeployment.

This morning, Kobayashi's wife brought up the matter again, and after discussing it, the two decided to find the head of the personnel again, hoping to save the situation by giving gifts.

They bought a box of drinks with reduced prices and came downstairs to the leader's house with apprehension.

However, unexpectedly, the leadership very politely declined their gifts.

At this moment, Xiao Lin and his wife felt extremely embarrassed and angry, but they were helpless.

The two stood downstairs, cursing angrily.

They understand that all this is because they didn't understand the rules here in the first place and offended people.

But at this point, regret is useless, they can only accept this reality.

The matter of changing units has always been like a heavy stone, pressing on the hearts of the Xiaolin couple and hanging in the balance.

They worry about this matter every day, looking for a possible way out.

However, one day, the matter turned out to be unexpectedly resolved.

Kobayashi's wife's unit has added a shuttle bus near their home, which makes her no longer need to crowd the bus for a long time, and the commute distance is greatly shortened.

After learning the news, she happily told Kobayashi, and both of them were happy about it.

Xiao Lin originally thought that this matter was successfully resolved, but he didn't expect that after a few days, his wife fell into an unhappy mood again.

It turned out that she heard that the shuttle bus of this line was opened because the unit leaders had relatives who also lived here, and it was not entirely for the convenience of employees.

This made her feel a little resentful inside.

Kobayashi tried to comfort her, telling her that it was better than nothing, and that no matter what the reason for opening it, at least it was much easier to commute to work now.

He advised his wife to be grateful and not to worry too much about the reasons behind it.

At the same time, the child's search for kindergarten also gave them a headache.

The child is about to turn three years old, and they plan to quit the nanny and send the child to kindergarten, which will save the nanny's salary and allow the child to start early education.

However, the conditions of the kindergartens in the neighborhood are uneven, and good kindergartens need connections to get into, and they don't know the people inside.

Kobayashi and his wife tried all kinds of ways to find someone to help, but they didn't succeed.

In the end, Kobayashi proposed an alternative plan to send the child to a slightly worse kindergarten next door.

He knew the teacher inside, and there must be no problem getting in.

However, Kobayashi's wife firmly disagreed, she didn't want her children to go to a kindergarten that was too poor, and insisted on finding a place with better conditions.

At this time, the neighbor's visit was like a spring breeze, bringing an unexpected joy - they were willing to transfer the place in a kindergarten from another unit to the Xiaolin family.

When Xiao Lin first heard the news, he was naturally overjoyed, as if he saw a bright future for his child.

However, the joy has not yet dissipated, and Kobayashi's wife discovers the other side of the matter.

It turned out that the reason why the neighbors were so generous was that they wanted their children to attend that kindergarten as well, so that the two children could accompany each other and adapt to the new environment together.

After learning this truth, the anger in the hearts of the Kobayashi couple arose, and they felt that they had been taken advantage of by their neighbors, and their original gratitude was greatly reduced.

Xiao Lin was even more uncontrollable, when he was alone at night, he shed tears, and even slapped himself, scolding himself for being incompetent and not being able to mix.

However, such self-blame and annoyance are actually somewhat superfluous.

In any case, it would have been a blessing for the children to be able to enter the kindergarten of their hearts.

Even if the neighbor's original intention is to accompany their children, it does not mean that their help is no longer valuable.

Perhaps, the neighbor did not express this directly, but this does not affect the essence of the facts.

Sometimes, we feel annoyed and miserable because we focus too much on the negative aspects of things and ignore the positives.

We would rather be caught in the whirlpool of emotions and consume our energy than accept and face the facts.

However, true wisdom lies in learning to look at problems from multiple perspectives and to approach life's challenges with a positive mindset.

With the arrival of autumn, the Kobayashi couple ushered in the annual trouble - the problem of Chinese cabbage.

This annoyance is completely different from the trivial things they faced before, such as children, tofu, and changing units, but it is no less headache.

Every autumn, the Chinese cabbage subsidy policy will be introduced, making the Chinese cabbage extremely cheap.

Every year, Kobayashi queues up to buy a large pile of Chinese cabbage, ready to store it and eat it slowly.

However, the Chinese cabbage they bought back has become a big burden for them.

They had to be dried, turned every day, and put away at night, and they were exhausted.

Moreover, at first they were reluctant to eat it, and in the end only some shriveled sticks remained, which tasted very bad and did not taste good.

Every following spring, the couple would face a pile of small sticks and swear that they would never buy Chinese cabbage again when autumn came.

However, in autumn, looking at the piles of cabbage on the street so tempting, and the ** subsidy, other people's cars are pushing and walking, and they will feel that they will lose if they don't buy it.

This psychological torture of ambivalence and anxiety made Kobayashi feel extremely tired.

This fall, Kobayashi made up his mind and resolutely stopped buying Chinese cabbage. He tried to convince himself that Chinese cabbage was not something that had to be bought, and that there were other ways they could solve the problem of eating vegetables in winter.

However, after only three days, he joined the team to buy winter cabbage.

The reason is that the unit can reimburse the cost of buying Chinese cabbage, and the couple can reimburse a total of 500 catties for the two units combined. They felt that this was a rare opportunity, and if they didn't buy it, they wouldn't buy it for nothing.

Of course, they also told themselves in their hearts that it was not that they were not strong-willed, but that they were forced by reality.

After buying back the Chinese cabbage, Kobayashi's mood became heavy at the thought of serving these dishes.

In his heart, he always felt that these troubles were caused by the reimbursement policy, not his own choice.

However, whenever he tried to escape these trivial matters, the reimbursement ** always followed, and he had to bear this trouble.

He gradually realized that this practice of shifting the blame to external causes was really just making excuses for himself.

At the behest of his friend Xiao Li Bai, Xiao Lin turned into a street duck seller after work.

At first, he was filled with apprehension and uneasiness, and felt that such behavior seemed unseemly.

However, Xiao Li Bai used the admonition of "don't lose face if you make money", which made him gradually let go of the worries in his heart.

After a few days, Xiao Lin gradually discovered that this job was actually quite interesting, not only did not delay the daily work, but also received a reward of 20 yuan from Xiao Li Bai every day.

However, good times are always short-lived, and Xiao Li Bai only let him do it for ten days.

On the ninth day, when Kobayashi was selling ducks on the street, he unexpectedly met the director of the office.

The director's eyes were full of surprise and doubt, which made Xiao Lin feel embarrassed for a moment.

He knew that his image in the eyes of the leaders might have been greatly reduced.

The next day, the commissioner approached Kobayashi for an in-depth conversation.

Kobayashi was nervous, but he was fully prepared and determined to respond to the leader's doubts with clever words.

After some thought, Kobayashi realized that he no longer thought it was a shame to sell ducks.

However, he also learned what "maturity" is.

When talking to the leader, he learned to cover up the truth and respond with half-truths.

In the workplace, it is often difficult to gain a foothold in the truth, but falsehood can make people promoted and rich.

So, in front of the director, Kobayashi skillfully explained his behavior of selling ducks.

He claimed that he just happened to be playing with a classmate who sold ducks, and tried to sell a few ducks, but he didn't expect to run into the leader.

He insisted that he wasn't really selling ducks, just out of curiosity and having fun.

After listening to his explanation, although there were still some doubts in his eyes, the commissioner did not delve into it.

He just told Xiao Lin not to play like this in the future, and to always pay attention to maintaining the image of national cadres.

And so it went.

The old man who checked the water meter came to the door again, this time not as a matter of routine, but with a special request.

He came on behalf of the leaders of his hometown and county, hoping to get Xiaolin's assistance to solve a long-standing backlog of approval problems.

The old man asked Xiao Lin in a sincere tone if this was feasible, and Xiao Lin was no longer as straightforward as he used to be.

He knows that in the midst of the complexity of reality, it is often not wise to speak out.

So, he was full of promises, but there was a little embarrassment in his words.

Those who can help first say that they will not help, and those who are easy to do will first say that it is not easy to do. This is true maturity. ”

Xiao Lin expressed his attitude in this way, which not only gave the old man hope, but also left room for maneuver for himself.

In fact, it is not difficult to solve this approval problem, but Xiao Lin deliberately said that it was difficult.

He described in detail all the difficulties involved, which made the old man deeply understand, and at the same time strengthened his determination to ask Xiaolin for help.

When the old man left, he left a microwave oven as a token of appreciation.

At first, Xiao Lin was a little hesitant about this gift, and felt that it seemed inappropriate to help with an approval document and accept such a benefit.

However, when his wife began to use this microwave oven to bake sweet potatoes, roast chicken and other delicacies, Kobayashi's worries gradually dissipated.

He tasted the delicious food and couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction in his heart.

He began to think that perhaps changing his life was not out of reach, and that as long as he was willing to blend in and learn the so-called "ways of chaos", he could easily get the material comforts he needed.

However, such a life made Kobayashi gradually lose his true self.

He began to act according to the rules of the world, giving up his own independent thinking.

The three-year-old was afraid to go to school because he didn't give a gift to the teacher, and Kobayashi was deeply shocked by this incident.

He realized that this society had permeated every corner, and even innocent children were affected.

In order to keep their children in school happy, the couple went to great lengths to find charcoal fires given to teachers by other parents as gifts.

After the gift, the family's emotions were relieved.

Xiao Lin drank beer that night and said to his wife: "In fact, things in the world are very simple, as long as you understand a truth and do things according to the reason, life is like flowing water, and it is quite comfortable to live day by day." ”

However, this "truth" that Kobayashi understands is actually only assimilated by secular rules.

He began to learn to use these rules to guide his actions, but he ignored the true voice of his heart.

He may be able to find material satisfaction, but he is becoming more and more spiritually empty.

The lives of the Kobayashi couple seem to have entered a stable track, with fewer and fewer troubles on the surface, the days are getting smoother and smoother, and the material life is becoming more and more abundant.

Yet, beneath this calm surface, their minds gradually became insensitive.

Xiao Lin has become accustomed to not facing his true self, no longer pursuing the true preferences in his heart, and even the original kindness is slowly disappearing.

He likes to watch the World Cup, but when the quadrennial event came and the broadcast time coincided with the middle of the night, he gave up because of his wife's reproach.

When questioned by his colleagues, he angrily denied that he had ever liked football, much to the surprise of his colleagues.

What's even more heart-wrenching is that when he learned that the elementary school teacher who had saved his life had died of illness, although he was sad all day, when he came home and faced a pile of cabbage, he left the teacher's kindness behind.

He told himself, "The dead are already dead, it's useless to think about it, and the living should think about the cabbage first." ”

Such words reveal an excessive focus on the trivialities of life and a forgetfulness of the true nature of human nature.

Of course, the firewood, rice, oil and salt in life need to be properly disposed of, but it is a great sadness to use this as an excuse to lose people's hearts.

When people get lost in the trivial lives and go with the flow, they may end up becoming numb "hollow people" and pay a heavy price.

We should learn to accept ourselves and reconcile with ourselves instead of being swayed by the outside world.

Only in this way can we get rid of the shackles of troubles and find inner peace and truth.

Obeying the outside world and going with the flow may be able to gain temporary comfort, but what is lost is self and truth.

This is perhaps the greatest sorrow of human nature.

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