The highest level of self discipline of a person is to manage his own prejudices

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-03-07

Zhang Zhongxing, a famous scholar, once shared a small incident that made him blame himself for more than half a century.

During his tenure as editor, Zhang Zhongxing asked the writer Yu Pingbo for manuscripts.

Yu Pingbo readily agreed, and soon submitted an insightful article.

Zhang Zhongxing deeply admired Yu Pingbo's talent, so he published this article.

However, the development of events was beyond Zhang's expectations.

It didn't take long for Yu Pingbo to start asking him about the manuscript fee.

This move greatly reduced Zhang Zhongxing's impression of Yu Pingbo, and he couldn't help but feel a wave of disappointment and dissatisfaction in his heart, thinking that this great writer was so concerned about money, which was really vulgar.

However, what Zhang Zhongxing didn't know was that Yu Pingbo's life was in extreme trouble at that time.

He had to pawn even the most basic living expenses by pawning old things.

Zhang Zhongxing did not learn this truth until many years later.

When he learned what had happened, his heart was filled with remorse and shame.

He was ashamed of his prejudices, but sadly, Yu Pingbo had passed away and he could no longer express his apologies to the writer.

American journalist Lippmann once said:

Most of the time, we don't see first and then define. It's about defining first, and then seeing. ”

This quote profoundly reveals that we are often affected by subjective bias when facing things.

Many times, the facts we think are often subjective, and our judgments often expose our inner narrowness and bias.

Therefore, the top self-discipline of adults is to manage their own prejudices.

We should not jump to conclusions until we know the full picture;

Nor should we speak freely until we see the truth.

Bi Shumin once recounted her journey experience affectionately in an article.

It was a day when she returned home from **, and she met a man in shabby clothes and dusty on the road.

The man's eyes were full of anxiety and pleading, and he claimed that his wife had just given birth to a newborn baby, but he was anxious because he had no milk to feed.

He ran around to borrow a little millet, hoping to rush home as soon as possible to make a bowl of hot rice soup for the child.

Bi Shumin was merciful and agreed to the man's request without hesitation, willing to give him a ride.

However, the driver sitting in the driver's seat looked preoccupied and solemn.

During the long drive, the driver slowly spoke and told Bi Shumin a heart-wrenching story.

It turned out that he had met an experienced master who made a living by driving on weekdays, and had a kind and helpful personality.

However, one day, the old master mysteriously disappeared along with his car.

It wasn't until later that everyone learned the truth.

It turned out that someone took advantage of the master's sympathy and pretended to need a ride, but on the way, he poisoned the master, brutally killed him, and then dumped his body in the desolate desert.

After listening to the driver's story, Bi Shumin's heart couldn't help but feel a chill.

She began to re-examine the man who had just hitched a ride, paying attention to his every move.

It didn't take long for Bi Shumin's alert nerves to be touched.

She inadvertently noticed that the seemingly anxious father was quietly moving her bag in the back of the car.

The bag contained her valuables, which made her heart bells.

She quickly reminded the driver, "He's going to steal from me!" ”

When the driver heard this, the accelerator suddenly increased under his feet, and the body shook violently on the rough road, and the man was caught off guard, stumbled, and fell heavily to the ground.

Bi Shumin thought that this fright would make the man retreat.

However, to her surprise, the man still clung to the bag, and even began to untie the sack next to him, as if intending to take her belongings for himself.

Bi Shumin was anxious and urged the driver to speed up, trying to make the man unable to succeed through the bumps of the vehicle.

Along the way, her heart was like a deer, always on guard against men's movements.

Finally, they arrived at their destination.

The man was about to get out of the car and leave, but Bi Shumin stopped him.

She decided to inspect her bag in person to make sure nothing was missing.

However, when she opened her bag, she was shocked by what she saw.

Not only was the bag intact, but it was also securely tied to the carriage with a sturdy rope.

It turned out that it was the man who untied the rope from his sack and used it to secure Bi Shumin's bag in case it fell in the bumps.

Bi Shumin, who knew the truth, felt an indescribable guilt and remorse in her heart.

She thought that the man had bad intentions, but she didn't expect that it was her own preconceived ideas that prejudiced him. This prejudice is like a sharp sword, hurting people invisibly, making her hurt the kind man in her misunderstanding.

At this moment, Bi Shumin's heart seemed to have encountered a sudden cold snap, and her heart shrank into a ball.

I think that others are plotting against him, but in fact he is speculating on his own, and prejudice is like a sharp sword, hurting people invisibly.

In real life, we are often easily influenced by subjective consciousness and unconsciously label others with various labels.

This kind of practice of judging others based on personal thoughts not only conceals the truth of the facts, but also exposes our own shallowness and narrow-mindedness.

The world is not as simple as we think, not everything works out the way we think, and not all people conform to the stereotypes in our minds.

Everyone has their own story, their own unique experiences, and they may be very different from what we expected, but that doesn't mean they're wrong or unworthy of being understood.

If we are always confined to our own feelings, then we will lose our objectivity and reason, and fall into the vortex of subjective assumptions.

This is not only a distortion of the facts, but also an unwarranted slander of others.

I've seen a cartoon of a man peering through a narrow door, wondering, "Why is this man so flat?" ”

Little did he realize that it was his own narrow perspective that distorted everything he saw.

There is no shortage of similar people in our lives. They cling to narrow perceptions, but they scoff at the shallowness of others' knowledge;

They are limited by the inertia of their thinking, but they laugh at those who dare to break the mold and be whimsical.

Invisibly, they are bound by rigid cognition, and the originally broad road ahead is getting narrower and narrower.

Writer Bao Pengshan once mentioned that a friend of his had a topic of "children beating people" with the guests on a TV show.

Friends insist that children from single-parent families are generally violent.

Bao Pengshan felt that this statement was too absolute, so he raised objections through **, pointing out that historical figures such as Confucius and Mencius were also born in single-parent families, but they were known for their gentleness and courtesy.

However, my friend was stubborn and insisted that there must be problems with the education of single-parent families.

In order to convince his friends, Bao Pengshan cited a lot of psychological and sociological views in an attempt to make him realize the limitations of his cognition.

However, my friend is like a bull and does not listen to any opinions at all. In the end, the controversy ended with a friend blocking Bao Pengshan.

Remembering what I said from ** person @ table:

Some people get older, the more stubborn and ignorant they become, repeating their prejudices every day.

They live their whole lives, but they live within their own cognitive radius, and they don't walk beyond that circle, and they don't even know it.

In many cases, what really binds a person is not the shallowness of knowledge, but the rigidity and stubbornness of thinking.

They clearly confuse right and wrong, but they stubbornly stick to their position;

Obviously limited by outdated concepts, but unwilling to face reality, let alone make changes.

This subjective way of thinking will only make them farther and farther away from the truth.

A heart-piercing reality is that what we often see is not the real person, but the projection of our own heart.

Our prejudices and stubbornness actually reflect our own limitations and shortcomings.

In The Ferryman, I read a thought-provoking story.

Tristan, the soul ferryman, once led a special soul - a former German Nazi soldier.

When his companion Dylan learned of this, his heart was full of doubts and dissatisfaction, because in her concept, Nazi soldiers were all heinous crimes.

However, when Dylan listened to the soldier's account, he fell into a deep silence.

It turned out that the soldier did not voluntarily join the Nazis, but was forced to join the army under pressure from his family.

His parents' belief that "not joining the army is a disgrace to the family" forced him to follow the path of blood and violence.

During the days of the concentration camp, although the soldier was in the best environment, he stood by his conscience.

Not only did he not kill innocents indiscriminately, but he was disgusted by the wanton behavior of the guards of the Jews.

However, fate played a cruel joke on him.

When he was confronted with an order from his commander to shoot an innocent old man, he chose to refuse.

He had a heated argument with his superiors, which eventually resulted in his death.

The commander, in a fit of rage, killed the old man first, and then sent the soldier to the point of no return with one shot.

While telling the story, Tristan looked at Dylan with a deep gaze and said meaningfully:

Don't make moral judgments about others lightly, and don't look at everyone with preconceptions.

Every soul is unique, and each has its own virtues and faults. ”

Human nature is like a complex picture, there is no pure black and white, let alone good and evil in the absolute sense.

We are accustomed to easily labeling people, but we often ignore the stories and emotions behind each person.

Such prejudices will only distort and distort the world we see.

The man who is sneaky in your eyes may not have bad intentions, but is only careful to wake up his sleeping daughter beside him;

The tattooed, seemingly fierce and vicious eldest brother, may carry the pattern on his body to carry a deep longing for his deceased relatives;

The girl who stayed in the bar until late at night may not be frivolous, but her family is in urgent need of money and has to choose to work in a hotel to make ends meet.

As Ma Dong said, every thing, when viewed from different angles, will present different appearances and cognitions, and may even lead to diametrically opposite conclusions.

Don't judge everyone lightly, it is the consciousness of dealing with others, and it is also the respect for others.

Schopenhauer once profoundly pointed out:

What prevents people from accessing the truth is not the illusory fog of external things or the lack of reasoning ability, but the accumulated and deep-rooted prejudices.

In the complexity of life, we often use our subjective consciousness to measure others and things, which leads to unbalanced judgment and difficulty in impartiality.

However, it is only when we bravely tear down this wall of prejudice that we can broaden our horizons and see through the fog on the surface to see the essence of things.

Learn to let go of self-righteous judgments and embrace the world with more understanding and empathy.

Less unnecessary speculation and more objective and rational scrutiny.

When we are no longer confined to our own small world, we can break the shackles of fixed cognition and welcome a broader and better life.

Click".Thumbs upMay we all get out of the fog of prejudice and perceive the diversity of the world and the temperature of people's hearts.

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