If you love your child, you will build him a warm and stable castle
Author: Momoko.
Ever since my baby was born, I've been wondering, what is the right goal for parenting? In the process of raising children and accompanying them to grow up, what can we do as parents to the maximum?
I think that the specific answer given by each parent is different, and as the author of this book, Donna Tetero, repeatedly mentions and emphasizes in the book, no parent or child is the same.
But in the book The Law of the Castle (The Ca.s.t.l.e.method), the author proposes seven parenting rules around the concept of "castle", but they are general rules applicable to all families, providing every ordinary, imperfect but hard-working parent with the ability to build a happy and stable family.
These 7 parenting rules can be summarized as follows:
Compassion:On the road to parenthood, take empathy as the starting point and empathy as the foothold.
Acceptance:Accept your child from the bottom of your heart as he is, don't try to change him and make him the kind of person you want to be; It's about letting him be who he is and what he wants to be.
Security:Parents should provide their children with the safest "safe zones" in the world, not only for physical safety, but also for emotional safety and a fixed lifestyle.
Trust:Encourage your child to trust you and himself, trust that your child will make decisions based on his needs, allow them to "change course", develop their ability to say "no", teach them leadership skills, and let go of contrasts.
Love:Childhood love is indispensable for children's growth, parents should recognize their inner self, but also teach their children to learn self-love, help children enjoy and develop what they love, so as to cultivate enthusiastic children.
Expectation:Parents should set positive expectations for their children, foster a tradition of celebration, be flexible in dealing with harmful expectations, and teach their children flexibility and model flexibility.
Education:Children's education should start from early education, actively participate in children's school education, set up monthly family meetings and create educational family activities, and solve homework problems with children, so that they and children can become lifelong learners.
All in all, the child is a "work under construction", and his growth needs the guidance and help of his parents. From the perspective of empathy, we should take acceptance, security, trust, expectation, etc. as the cornerstones, so that children can feel loved, learn to love themselves, and continue to thrive towards the goal of lifelong learners.
The cornerstone of this "castle" is not only in the hands of parents, but also in the construction of children. You should note that these 7** are not only your magic weapon for parenting, but also the equipment and armor for your child's growth. Remember, parents grow up with their children.
We need to understand children from the perspective of empathy, and also teach children to treat others with empathy;
Learn to accept children as they are, and also let children learn to accept themselves and others;
Provide an environment for your child to feel safe and learn to take control of his emotional safety.
Try to make your child believe in himself and encourage him to trust himself.
Give children stable love, but also teach them self-love, to treat the people and things they love correctly;
Expecting children with appropriate and beneficial expectations also teaches them to look forward to the future and be flexible;
Actively participating in the education of children, being a role model, and also opening up their passion for learning to become lifelong learners.
As Maya Angelou said, "If you're always trying to be normal, you'll never know how good you are". Parents are always the first to discover what makes their child unique, and what you need to do is to tap into your child's potential, provide him with a castle of security, compassion and love, and create a calm and peaceful family environment.
Maya Angelo's quote also applies to parents, try to use these 7 parenting rules to change the way you are a parent, don't focus your thoughts on the past or the future, this will only increase anxiety, when you make changes, you will also find that you are growing up to be a better parent.
If you really love your child, please read this book carefully and use these 7 parenting rules to build a castle for your child as soon as possible, make it a shelter for your child, create a better life with your child, build a thriving family, and let your child run towards the future they dream of, achieve the goals they want, and finally become the person they want to be.