"I don't marry a rural girl", the boy in the city said sincerely, although the words were ugly, but very realistic
The Spring Festival is about to usher in, and every family is busy preparing for the atmosphere of the New Year, but for unmarried older young people, this time often means a meeting from relatives"Marriage wars"It's about to start.
Although I myself am no longer bothered by the urge to marry, the few "younger siblings" around me who are not competitive are still single. Therefore, as an elder, I had to be forced to join the ranks of the family to urge marriage.
I have an older cousin who is 30 years old and works in Shanghai, but he is still single. Every Spring Festival, he would become the object of the elders' urging to marry, and I often became their spokesperson.
Last year, I tried to introduce him to a schoolgirl, but he refused. His reasoning was: "I don't like rural girls!" Hearing this, I was so angry that I wanted to beat him through the ** line. Why is there still such a concept of regional discrimination? But after listening to his explanation, I had to keep my mouth shut for a while.
It turned out that he had a girlfriend from the countryside before, and the two had been together for 4 years. The girl's family is average, there is a younger sister who is in school, her father works outside the home all the year round, and her mother takes care of everything in the family.
This story shocked me deeply and strengthened my determination to help my cousin get rid of regional discrimination. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and equally, regardless of where they come from or what their background is.
My girlfriend has shown an independent side since she was a child, and after entering college, she is even more self-reliant, not only did she not ask her family for a penny, but she also funded her parents from time to time for some living expenses.
My cousin is particularly distressed about his girlfriend and always goes out of his way to provide her with the best things, whether it is clothes, cosmetics, bags or mobile phones, they are the best.
The two originally agreed to fight for another two years before entering the marriage hall. However, things changed dramatically two years ago. When my girlfriend went home for the New Year, she was introduced by her family to a local rich second generation, and then got married in a hurry!
The cousin recalled the situation at the time and bluntly said that he was simply stunned, but his girlfriend said with tears in his **: "Our family conditions are limited, I can't keep wandering in other places, find a rich second generation with a little money in the local area, and my parents will not be looked down upon, so we won't contact each other in the future." ”
After that, the cousin made up his mind that rural girls would no longer be considered. "Most of the rural girls come from modest families, and some of them come from poor families, and they are eager to change the fate of their families," he said. As a result, rural girls are more likely to compromise on money and power than girls with better conditions.
Falling in love with them is a real headache, not only considering their high pride, but also having to bear their critical demands on you.
My family background is also good, why should I be wronged? Wouldn't it be better to find someone with similar conditions to get married and have children? ”
The cousin seems to have been wronged for his feelings, but he overturned a boatload of people with a single shot, and the result was self-defeating.
Therefore, when the third aunt asked me to introduce the object to him again, I decisively refused because I couldn't untie the knot in his heart.
Why are urban men reluctant to marry rural women? This seems to have become a topic of intense concern, not just my cousin, but many people seem to feel the same way.
A netizen shared his experience of once going on a blind date with a rural girl and wanted to find a down-to-earth partner to spend his life with. But unexpectedly, this rural girl turned out to be more of a headache than his previous interactions with urban women.
Whether it's eating out or ordering, the girl always orders a lot but can't eat it, and when he wants to pack it away, the girl has a straight face. When she visited the man's house, she was dissatisfied with the size of the house. Coupled with the high bride price, the man had to end the relationship decisively.
Another woman from the countryside echoed this sentiment and shared her own experience.
She said that she married a city man, and she had to provide a subsidy of more than 100,000 yuan to her mother's family after marriage. Although her family had supported her in higher education, she had forgotten about it now, so she had to work hard to balance the family finances.
Another rural woman echoed her cousin's sentiments, sharing her experience of starting a part-time job at the age of 14 to pay off debts and provide for her brother's education. Her parents are unemployed, and she is responsible for all the family affairs alone, and the pressure of life makes her breathless.
She believes that marriage should be a joint effort of both parties, not a burden on one party. Therefore, she is also unwilling to put an extra burden on her other half.
Some netizens even directly listed the economic cost of marrying a rural girl and an urban girl:
When comparing the living conditions of urban and rural girls, we have to take into account the economic disparity. Urban girls tend to enjoy more economic advantages, such as owning a family property and their parents' retirement salary. Rural girls, on the other hand, face different challenges, as their families may not have a home or retirement salary, and health insurance coverage is relatively low.
This economic disparity can be quite significant, estimated at up to 2.5 million. Although some rural girls may also have superior conditions, they are in the minority. Overall, urban girls are living in better conditions.
However, we also can't ignore the wonderful girls who come from the countryside. Girls in rural northern, in particular, often have to overcome greater difficulties to stand out. The relative lack of educational resources in rural areas, and the fact that families often do not devote too many resources to girls, make it difficult for girls to get into university and leave the countryside.
Not only do these girls have to struggle for their own tuition and living expenses, but they sometimes need to support family members, such as committing to pay for their younger brother's college tuition. Therefore, they often work part-time, study hard, and live a life full of fighting and fighting spirit.
However, even if they work hard, the gap in reality is frustrating. Some city dwellers may not be able to understand their living environment and family pressures, which leads to misunderstandings and estrangement.
Therefore, some people may find that even if they have deep feelings for each other, they will have conflicts due to different life backgrounds. Urban people may feel incapable of coping with the problems of rural girls' families, leading to estrangement and dissatisfaction.
To sum up, although there is a huge gap between the living conditions of urban girls and rural girls, we cannot ignore the fighting spirit and excellent qualities displayed by rural girls. Everyone has their own background and story, and understanding and inclusion are key to building a good relationship.
In discussing this issue, I noticed an interesting phenomenon: among young people, those who do not have children are more tolerant of those who come from rural areas, while parents with children are more likely to reject rural children more harshly. Some parents even directly stated that there are only two requirements for their daughter's marriage: it cannot be a single-parent family, nor can it be from a rural area.
This shows that most parents are worried that social disparities will hinder their children's marriages, whether they are "climbing high branches" or "marrying low". After all, ideology and lifestyle are important factors in marriage.
I also hesitated in my heart that if I wanted my children to marry in the countryside, after all, as parents, we all want our children to live well. But as a North drifter who has worked hard in Beijing for many years, I can also empathize with the embarrassment of rural children. Most of them are young people who have the courage to face difficulties, dare to pursue, and have super personal ability.
Therefore, if my child brings back a boy from a rural area in the future, as long as he is filial, upright, and good to my child, I will most likely not interfere too much in their relationship.