As the saying goes, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem for the ages, and it is not unreasonable. Many families have suffered from discord in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even led to the breakdown of marriages. How difficult the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, I believe many people have a personal experience. So, is there a new type of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship that can make the mother-in-law not angry, the daughter-in-law not aggrieved, and the husband not embarrassed? The answer is yes, and it's trending.
The concept of the new type of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is that the mother-in-law does not interfere, the daughter-in-law does not aggrieved, and the man is not embarrassed. It sounds simple, but it actually requires both parties to have a certain psychological quality and communication skills. The root cause of the conflict in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mainly the interference of the mother-in-law and the dissatisfaction of the daughter-in-law, which leads to disharmony and disrespect between the two parties. The reason for the mother-in-law's interference may be out of love for her son, or distrust of her daughter-in-law, or unease about her position. The reason for the daughter-in-law's dissatisfaction may be because the mother-in-law's interference has affected her life, or the mother-in-law's attitude makes her feel neglected, or the mother-in-law's words and deeds make her feel insulted. Men are caught in the middle, taking care of both the feelings of their mother-in-law and the emotions of their daughter-in-law, and it is easy to fall into a dilemma.
So, how to practice a new type of mother-in-law relationship? First of all, the mother-in-law should learn to let go, not interfere too much in the lives of her son and daughter-in-law, and respect their choices and wishes. The mother-in-law must understand that her son has grown up and has his own family, and can no longer follow her own arrangements as she did when she was a child. The mother-in-law should trust her daughter-in-law and believe that she can take care of her son and also take care of herself. The mother-in-law should give her daughter-in-law a certain amount of space, and don't always hit **, or come to the door, or point fingers. The mother-in-law should respect the personality and habits of her daughter-in-law and not impose her own ideas and standards. The mother-in-law should keep her own life, not put all her energy on her son and daughter-in-law, but also have her own interests and friends.
Secondly, the daughter-in-law should learn to be tolerant, not to be overly concerned about her mother-in-law's words and deeds, and to understand her feelings and difficulties. The daughter-in-law should understand that the mother-in-law is also a person, and she also has her own emotions and needs, as well as her own imperfections and shortcomings. The daughter-in-law should thank her mother-in-law, after all, she is her son's mother and her elder, and her love for her son is also a favor to herself. The daughter-in-law should communicate with her mother-in-law, and don't always avoid or resist, or complain or lose her temper. The daughter-in-law should take the initiative to be a mother-in-law, and don't always wait for her mother-in-law to come to her, or wait for her son to be a bridge, or wait for the problem to erupt. The daughter-in-law should respect her mother-in-law's opinions and suggestions, and do not always refute or refuse, or ridicule or despise. The daughter-in-law should maintain the face and dignity of her mother-in-law, and do not speak ill of her in front of outsiders, or embarrass her, or disappoint her.
Finally, men should learn to balance, not take sides, and deal with problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fairly. Men must understand that the harmony of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not only the responsibility of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also their own responsibility, and they cannot stay out of the matter or shirk their responsibility. A man should support his daughter-in-law and not make her feel isolated, or unjust, or sacrificed. A man should care about his mother-in-law and not let her feel left out, or neglected, or abandoned. Men should coordinate their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and not let them attack each other, or hurt each other, or alienate each other. Men should reconcile their mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, and do not let them fall into conflict, or stalemate, or break up. Men should guide their mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, and don't let them go to extremes, or to discrimination, or to hostility.
The benefits of the new mother-in-law relationship are obvious. We can use the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship between Liu Yang and Zhang Zhizhi in the TV series "Dear Yourself" as a negative teaching material to compare the advantages and effects of the new mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. Liu Yang is a typical evil mother-in-law, her interference in her daughter-in-law Zhang Zhizhi is everywhere, from housework to children, from work to life, she has to intervene, and even asks Zhang Zhizhi to resign and become a full-time housewife. Zhang Zhizhi is a typical bitter daughter-in-law, she is dissatisfied with her mother-in-law, she never dares to express it, she can only swallow her anger, and even give up her dreams and career in order to please her mother-in-law. Liu Yang's son, who is Zhang Zhizhi's husband, is a typical soft man, he turns a blind eye to the contradictions between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, never dares to stand up, can only come from left to right, and even in order to escape responsibility, he often travels on business and is not at home. Such a relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law eventually led to the collapse of the family. Zhang Zhizhi finally couldn't bear it anymore, chose to divorce, and left Liu Yang's house with the children. Liu Yang's son also lost his wife and children because of the deterioration of the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and fell into deep self-blame and remorse. Liu Yang lost the affection of his son and grandson because of the departure of his daughter-in-law, and became more lonely and depressed.
If they were able to adopt a new type of mother-in-law relationship, the situation would be very different. Liu Yang will respect Zhang Zhizhi's work and life, will not interfere in her decisions and arrangements, and will not ask her to resign, but will support her dreams and career. Zhang Zhizhi will understand Liu Yang's mood and difficulties, and will not compare her words and deeds, nor will she swallow her anger, but will thank her for her love and favor. Liu Yang's son will balance the problems of his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, will not take sides or evade responsibility, but will support his daughter-in-law, care about his mother-in-law, coordinate his mother-in-law, regulate his mother-in-law, and guide his mother-in-law. Such a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship will make the family more harmonious and happy. Zhang Zhizhi will feel her own worth and dignity, and will not want to divorce, but will love her husband and children more. Liu Yang's son will feel his responsibility and luck, and will not lose his wife and children, but will cherish his family and affection more. Liu Yang will feel happy and satisfied, and will not be lonely and depressed, but will be happier and more relaxed.
The core point of the new mother-in-law relationship is to maintain respect and boundaries, so that everyone has their own lifestyle and space. As it is said in the "Zengguang Xianwen": "When people get along, we must treat each other with courtesy, not beyond the courtesy, nor rude." "I hope that everyone can try a new type of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship and contribute to the harmony and development of the family.