During this year's Spring Festival, I attended a family banquet at my husband's house. At that time, my husband's cousin made a request to me that made me feel a little embarrassed, and he wanted to lend him 100,000 yuan. I rejected him without hesitation, insisting that I was on a tight stretch of money and could not lend so much money.
The story mostly revolves around the people around me. I usually narrate in the first person, so I'm Zhao Hongxia, an ordinary person born in the eighties.
My husband and I were college classmates, and I chose to marry him despite my parents' opposition to our marriage. The reason why parents are against it is mainly because of the difficulties of the husband's family, and they are worried that it will put a burden on our lives. My parents are ordinary workers, but they have a pension and don't drag me down.
When I was young, I was ignorant and insisted on marrying my husband, even though my parents were against it. My husband was born in a remote mountain village in the north, his family was poor, and his parents were farmers.
He has an older brother and a younger sister, while his mother has a lame leg due to an illness she had as a child and has difficulty moving. My father-in-law didn't marry my mother-in-law until he was thirty years old, and the family conditions were also very difficult.
They have eight siblings, of which my husband's aunt is my father-in-law's eldest daughter, and my cousin, who borrowed money from me, is named Zhigang.
Speaking of my husband's eldest aunt, she has important responsibilities in the family. She was three years older than my father-in-law, and because of her family's financial difficulties, she lost the opportunity to receive an education and had to work early to support the family.
When she was 18 years old, her eldest aunt's father died, leaving her with a group of young siblings and her mother. With a large family size but a scarce labor force, life has been on the verge of struggle, and difficult times have become the norm for them.
Due to the poverty of the family, the eldest aunt had to marry Zhang Chuan, the son of Zhang carpenter in the village, at the age of 20 and gave birth to a son and a daughter for them. I heard that the reason why the eldest aunt chose Zhang Chuan was to fulfill her responsibility to her mother's family, because Zhang Chuan only had one eye.
The uncle inherited his father's carpenter's trade, working for others in his spare time to earn extra pocket money to support the family. Although life is acceptable, poverty still haunts the large family size.
Since her eldest aunt got married, she has been trying her best to support her mother's family. Watching my brothers and sisters in the family get married and have children one after another, but my father-in-law is still single, my grandmother feels very anxious, but there is nothing to do.
When my father-in-law was 28 years old, my grandmother passed away due to illness. Before dying, she held her eldest aunt's hand tightly and said, "Your second brother has not yet started a family, so you must take care of him." With that, the grandmother passed away, and the eldest aunt nodded tearfully in agreement.
From then on, my aunt began to look for a suitable partner for my father-in-law. Two years later, my father-in-law married my mother-in-law, and they had three children after marriage.
Later, in life, my aunt once again reached out to help her parents-in-law solve their problems. She builds houses, cultivates land, takes care of children, and no matter what difficulties her parents-in-law encounter, she is always obligated to help.
Even my husband's tuition fees for high school and college were borrowed from my aunt. After I got married, my in-laws told me to remember my aunt's kindness, because her contribution to the family could not be ignored.
My aunt often recalls how she helped her parents-in-law to get them to where they are today. At first, I just listened and was not moved, but as time went on, I started to get bored.
When the eldest child in the family was two years old, my uncle fell ill and was hospitalized, and my aunt mentioned that she still owed her cousin a debt for marriage and building a house, and she could not treat her uncle. Our family income is limited, so we not only need to pay rent and children's expenses, but also spend 20,000 yuan in advance to my aunt.
Therefore, we can only live a frugal life. When the eldest child was seven years old and the second child was born, we bought a house, but we had no cash on hand and were still in debt.
The aunt's grandson, who is also the cousin's son, claims to have been admitted to university but lacks funds. He borrowed money from us, and I was very angry. I remembered that the 20,000 yuan I had lent him before had not been repaid, and now I came to borrow it again.
However, my husband stopped me, believing that it was legitimate to support the children in school, and that everyone could have difficulties. In the end, I had to borrow 10,000 yuan from my mother's family.
Luckily, my husband changed jobs and his salary went up quite a bit. Not only did we pay off our family's debts, but we also saved some money.
I thought we were going to have a good day, but just as I was rejoicing, my aunt came to the door again. She told us that her grandson had a girlfriend and was pregnant and had to get married.
They demanded that they must have a house or else they would have an abortion. However, we didn't have enough funds, and we were even short of $80,000 for the down payment.
My aunt began to burst into tears as she spoke, and she also nagged about how she helped my in-laws back then, so that my husband can be where he is today. She made me feel as if I owed them for marrying my husband. This bothers me a lot.
Seeing my aunt crying, my husband relented and gave his aunt exactly 80,000 yuan in family savings. He reassured me that he would earn more money and would never borrow again.
I ran back to my parents' house in a rage, and I said that I regretted marrying such a person. My parents said I deserved it, and it was too late to regret it if I didn't listen to them.
My aunt took 110,000 yuan from my family, and she has not paid it back yet. My husband and I didn't mention it either.
My husband always buys a lot of gifts for them during the holidays. Once, even though the gift ** was cheap, my cousin behaved dissatisfied, accusing my husband of being stingy and ungrateful, and almost got me into a quarrel with him.
My husband's family has had an unwritten rule since I don't know when it comes to holding a family banquet every Chinese New Year, and several elders take turns to be the host, inviting everyone to dinner.
However, this year's Spring Festival banquet was held at my father-in-law's house. Everyone was very happy, but as soon as my aunt arrived, she began to complain about how she had helped my in-laws before. I felt uncomfortable listening to these words, but I chose to remain silent.
The more the aunt talked, the more sad she became, and she began to cry, and the others began to comfort her, hoping that she would have a happy holiday. However, the aunt's cry became more and more sad, and she complained that only her family was not doing well, and no one seemed to be going to help.
Relatives asked about her, but her aunt was reluctant to elaborate. At this time, the cousin stood up and blamed himself, thinking that it was all because he was incapable, his son was unemployed, and he wanted to open a barbecue restaurant but lacked funds.
He offered to borrow $100,000 from my husband and promised to repay it in full in the future. Furious, I threw my chopsticks on the table and asked him if he was using us for an ATM. Both of our children are going to school, so wouldn't it cost us too?
Have you repaid all the money you borrowed? I am not willing to bear the debts that my mother-in-law owes you, I am currently financially constrained, and it is none of my business to open or not.
I've been helping you for years, but why aren't you grateful? With these words, I turned to leave, but I heard my cousin reprimanding my husband and me for being inconsiderate.
My husband also lost his appetite and had to come out with the children to chase me, and we returned home as a family of four. As soon as we got home, my father-in-law called**, saying that all this was his fault, and if he had been more capable, he would not have owed so much money, which caused me to be wronged.
Still, as a weak party, even if you don't have money, you shouldn't be so angry, how can you face your relatives in the future? They have not been grateful when they borrowed money in the past, is all my effort in vain?
It's not that I don't know how to be grateful, I've endured it to the extreme over the years. My choice to marry your son does not mean that I owe it to anyone, and the income I have is the result of my hard work.